maybe there should a law that every single RSO has a GPS and a camera on them too?

For me it was a matter if you give a little you get a little. Probation is a two way street, if you prove over and ovet to not be a threat you will get leeway to be living somewhat normally. For me I was willing to do the safety plan so I could spend holidays with my family.

I'm not sure what a lawyer can do to change the department needing a safety plan got your son but good luck! I hope the lawyer is extremy successful, we will take whatever victories we can!

I guess if you're older and have lived thru bumps in life. or you really are attracted to children this might not seem like a big deal.
But my son is only 24, and this traumatizes him just thinking about writing out a list like this. I messes with his head. And I think that's part of the problem with our government, they always play games with people's head. Scaring the shit out of everyone and keep the boot on the neck of the ones they can.

For me it has nothing to do with having lived through bumps in life or or being attracted to children or anything like that. Like you said anybody can be accused but it's even worse for somebody that's already an RSO. The common sense thing for anybody, RSO or not, is whenever possible avoid situations that can lead to accusations and when it isn't possible have a plan for making sure you can't be accused. If that means writing down the steps I'm already taking to avoid an accusation then so be it.

I'm not older nor am I attracted to kids (have psychological testing that shows that). It isn't about that, it is about getting what you want. It didn't traumatize me to do safety plan that I knew wasn't needed. If a lawyer can talk the judge into granting the motion so your son doesn't need a safety plan and reduces his probation than great! But this is a terrible time to be convicted of anything sex related. In the event that doesn't happen, unfortunately your son will have to make do. At that point he can decide he wants to comply and write a safety plan, or he can stay at home and not do those things he really wants to do.

It is not about fair, none of this is fair for anyone. It's about what the system is and making it as livable as possible while you are stuck inside the system.

Doing a safety plan doesn't make him able to do things he wants to do. And you're not my son. Everyone is different. Just because it didn't bother you doesn't mean it can't traumatize him.

sounds like you're not thrilled with our way of doing things. Sorry..

Nak.. I'm appalled at the extent of your son's sentence. Was it federal or state?

I am a tier 1 with 1 count CP state. No jail time 4-5 yrs probation. (SC does not have a tier 1 so I'm treated like a tier 2)

I'm 6 yrs into my probation which is $50/month in SC where it was $15/month in VT. . My PO feels my probation is overboard and has tried twice to get VT to release me to no avail. SC has a rule that says no one can be on probation for more that 5 yrs but because my probation is owned by VT it doesn't apply. He has been extremely lenient visited my home once, didn't even get out of his car, and never asked for a polygraph. (VT gave me 2). My monthly appointments have never lasted more than 5 minutes and often are just to give me my next appointment card. In VT they went a full 30 minutes of insulting exchanges.

I'm convinced that where you live determines the treatment you get. It shouldn't be that way but it is. Our government opened the floodgate for the states to determine the laws themselves with no over site It sickens me to see the state of our government now. We've created a monster in that there will be hot spots which people will migrate away from to areas of least resistance only to make those ares enact tougher laws to deflect the inflow.. It will only get worse. All based on lies and false data. Can you imagine if the same attitude were to happen for DUI or burglary or a multitude of other crimes?

We are out of control!!!

Nako,

You said, "Safety plan is just another 'admission of guilt' in my eyes."

Then you said, "But to write it up.. as if you know you may want to have sex with a child left alone, is just admitting guilt."

And signing a plea bargain with a guilty plea ISN'T an "admission of guilt?"

He already signed a plea admitting guilt, yet you don't want a safety plan because "writing one is an admission of guilt????????????" Hell, he has already signed the plea which is an admission of guilt.

I think signing a plea is a pretty damn good admission of guilt.

No matter what you do, the PO will never look as your son as innocent. Your son signed a guilty plea and as far as the PO or the government is concerned your son is guilty.

Your son signed a plea instead of going to trial. In exchange he signed a paper for a sentence which included probation. Now that he is on probation, he wants to get around all the rules.

Now you are going to hire another lawyer in an attempt to change the conditions of the same plea to which he pled guilty.

If he wasn't guilty---and you are so adamant about that----why didn't he go to trial? Then you would have a moral basis to fight some of these restrictions.

I believe you when you say he is innocent. But the PO holds most of the cards and while you may win some battles, you will lose the war and -----you will wind up broke----and your son is still considered a sex offender.

You are just wasting your hard earned money to fight silly trivial rules of probation. I can see not taking the sex offender therapy since the judge did not order it, but most of these other regulations he must do is just part of the probation he agree to when he pled.

You and your son would be better served to save all these attorney fees and put that money to help your son put his life together.

I just don't understand.

rewdiazepam

And again no one is saying it's fair Nak.

I echo what Rew is saying, is doing a safety plan is going to traumatize him more than signing s guilty plea?

Nako I think I get why he doesn't want to do the safety plan the worry that it will get stopped for whatever reason they come up with would be big not to mention the stuff you have told us. Those sort of worries effects people in different ways for some its not that big of deal but for others it can be a huge thing to deal with....this effects everyone in different ways!
You gotta do what is right for you and your son.
I hope that one day he will be able to see his sister.

Some of you really like to color things the way you want it. From your posts I can see none of you understand where I'm coming from. It's not about any of what you think, and he's not you and you're not like him.

Good luck to all. I'm checking out and going to spend my time with other endeavors. This is not the place for me at this time. I don't feel like I'm being supported here. I wish you all well. Keep up the good work here and try to support others without putting yourself in the picture.

Sorry.

I am sorry you don't feel supported here, that is definitely not the intent of Aladdin, Rew or myself. We are trying to give you wisdom from our experiences dealing with the exact same things your son is going through right now. Myself and Aladdin may not be innocent, but darn it, Rew is. He knows exactly what it is like to be persecuted for something he has not done, he knows the feelings that your son is experiencing more than anyone.

Nothing we said was trying to tear you down or what you are doing for your son but to try and show you the side the criminal justice system is coming from. They do not care if your son is innocent or not now that he has accepted his plea. They will treat him like he is guilty just like all other SO's which is terribly.

To be honest, I think it is quite admirable how you are standing by your son and supporting him. However I wish you wouldn't t look a gift horse in the mouth. Aladdin, Rew, and myself are on your side and want what is best for you and your son. To insinuate anything to the contrary is just not true.

I wish you and your son the best, and I hope your lawyer comes through for you guys and your son is able to get what he needs to successfully get through probation. I hope and pray that your son is able to get his probation reduced, 15 years is insane. Again any win for one of us is a win for all and we will take whatever wins we can get!

Happy Thanksgiving,

-Independent

Nak.. please do not leave the forum. I highly value your posts. I don't know what ticked you off but would like to help you. I see that you are refusing any PMs.

I have valued your posts and would feel a loss if you were not there. I know that the holidays area a bad time and people get more sensitive during this time but together we can get through this. I'm my mother's son who would do anything to help me. She is not a social Media type but would be here in a vengeance otherwise.

Your input is very valuable and is very helpful. Please don't leave....!!

P.S. I've requested a Friend request so I could send you PM's...

hate to see this.

sounds like this last incident with the PO has really pushed her over the edge.