You're right Nak I don't understand where you're coming from. Doing a safety plan doesn't make him able to do things he wants to do? That's inaccurate and what Independent has been trying to say. Will a safety plan allow him to do anything he wants to do? No but it will allow him to do some of the things he wants to do and as time goes by without incident he will be able to do even more. You mentioned earlier that your son already doesn't use public rest rooms. Why not? If it's to keep himself safe then he's already following a safety plan it just isn't a written one.and I don't get where writing that bit of information along with some of the other precautions he's already taking on a piece of paper for a PO would be traumatizing especially when it would allow him to do something he can't do now.

I do admire and respect how you stand behind your son but I have to agree with Rew about getting another lawyer this time. Things are at a point where any judge is going to side with the discretion of the PO and you're into areas where the restrictions start to apply to anyone under supervision not just SO's. Take Interstate travel to see his sister. While technically a judge can grant that it's still going to be a 30 day process for anybody under supervision and no judge can change that or even guarantee the trip will actually happen. Interstate travel is governed by ICAOS and ICOTS and the receiving state or federal district in another state always has the right to say no regardless of how a judge rules. I used this as an example to point how many things about supervision are actually out of a judge's control so unless you think you have a very good chance of getting your son's supervision terminated early you're probably throwing away money.

Nak every time I read one of your posts I have to chuckle.. You are a fierce woman and a force to be reckon with when it comes to your children. Your are , by definition, your sons po's worst nightmare. You know the law and you aren't afraid to call anyone out who does wrong by your children. I know you have been through alot, I can only hope to be as strong and supportive of a mother to my son when he needs me most, like I see you being day in and day out. God bless you and I hope your family has a wonderful first Thanksgiving being reunited after your sons prison release.

One more thing that should be mentioned here is another way to get some restrictions eased allowing your son to do more is to become a supervisor. Due to the unique circumstances your son is in I'm not sure how you can get that accomplished. Current federal guidelines require a supervisor to go through 16 hours of training from an approved SO treatment provider, the person under supervision has to be in a treatment program and there needs to be a relapse prevention plan in place that the provider(s), the PO, the person under supervision and the potential supervisor have all signed. Since treatment is not a requirement for your son a lawyer might be able to find a way around all that a get a judge to appoint you as a supervisor directly.

I can't remember if Nak's son is Federal or not. I know with my hubby, (wasn't Federal) he was able to get off probation at the half mark. I don't remember any mention of a safety plan either...just a general easing of resrtictions as time went on.
As for innocence or guilt... well he may have plead guilty and there's the whole legal issue with that. Yeah, it gets my goat too esp. since my hubby is innocent and DID go to trial (and had ahung jury) then took a plea.
BUT, I really think a good PO can get a sense of whether the SO was actually guilty or not after dealing with him/her for a time and esp. if they look back over the case. I really think that was what happened in my hubby's situation.
But yeah, it can be very aggravating. ?..even when you know life's not fair.

Just came back for one last good by, for now. I see someone has requested a friend.. sorry, I just go minimal when it comes to things like that. I have an email if you want nakohichi at yahoo . I use that for all my online stuff like this, so it's no secret.
I've fought my whole life for everything I have. If I listened to what people said I wouldn't have what I have today. Thanks all for being there for me as well.
We are careful. very careful in all we do.

We have a new lawyer and I'm feeling real good about it. We're in Philly now and that changes a lot.

I'm sorry but my son needs to be a free man. It will be weeks before I get feedback from our new lawyer,.. who is also a good friend of the liberal judge that sits here. If not a free man we're going for resentencing and something tells me things are on our side.

I'll come back in a few weeks if I have anything to report. I figure it's not just for my son. Being able to set an example in the courts will also help the community.

FYI, he never used public restrooms. My son is intelligent yet he has some issues with public and those kinds of things.. always has. So what's easy for some is not for him. I see him as a 'crazy artist ' kind of a guy. I understand him, but not everyone does.

Again. Good luck all. I'm glad this group is here for everyone and those how help others is so important in a community like ours.

Aloha and blessings

Nak... I'm sorry but I deleted your post because you posted your personal email address... (this is a public forum...) And it was me requesting friend status.....

Here is your post minus the address...

Just came back for one last good by, for now. I see someone has requested a friend.. sorry, I just go minimal when it comes to things like that. I have an email if you want ******@******. I use that for all my online stuff like this, so it's no secret.
I've fought my whole life for everything I have. If I listened to what people said I wouldn't have what I have today. Thanks all for being there for me as well.
We are careful. very careful in all we do.

We have a new lawyer and I'm feeling real good about it. We're in Philly now and that changes a lot.

I'm sorry but my son needs to be a free man. It will be weeks before I get feedback from our new lawyer,.. who is also a good friend of the liberal judge that sits here. If not a free man we're going for resentencing and something tells me things are on our side.

I'll come back in a few weeks if I have anything to report. I figure it's not just for my son. Being able to set an example in the courts will also help the community.

FYI, he never used public restrooms. My son is intelligent yet he has some issues with public and those kinds of things.. always has. So what's easy for some is not for him. I see him as a 'crazy artist ' kind of a guy. I understand him, but not everyone does.

Again. Good luck all. I'm glad this group is here for everyone and those how help others is so important in a community like ours.

Aloha and blessings

Using PM's are the best way to share personal information. There are a lot of trolls out there just waiting for a way to make our lives more miserable so please do not post personal information.

As far as "Safety Plans" go I have seen them presented from group but they are just an acknowledgement that you know what your risks are and a plan to avoid them. I only submitted one and it was to allow me to use the internet. I retired during group and wanted to be able to work from my new home in the south but was denied. Once I moved south my new PO granted it without any plan.

My PO's up north were ruthless and creel. They were more about shaming me than helping me. My PO here in the south really cares about me and doesn't buy the northern reports about my crime. I find this a blessing but unexpected as I am smack in the middle of the bible belt...

Nakoichi, I am sorry to see you go. I think I understand where you are coming from. If I have it wrong, my apologies. I hated doing a safety plan because I know how my mind works vs. the criticism in group about how they perceived me to think. In other words, the stress and disconnect for me comes from the variance between the two. I also became extremely paranoid. That was a huge negative because my reactions to being in stressful situations (movie theaters, restaurants, bathrooms, church) were fueled by fear instead of logical thinking.

I do not like crowded areas and I despise public restrooms too. Back to safety plans. I have a basic safety plan that I do use. Obviously, saying "get out of there quick" can get some people in therapy group (or the PO) to say - "why,because you will feel attracted to a child?" True, having a safety plan does not equal having permissions to do something or go somewhere. i wrote a safety plan for church and I was jumped on for wanting to be around kids (which I didn't). However, a safety plan does provide a way out of tricky situations (like places with only a single door for ingress/egress). Safety plans allow one to look at situations and environments and plan scenarios for possible events.

Mahalo & blessings to you and your son.

I have not felt comfortable in crowds regardless because anyone can make a claim whether or not it's true. So I try to avoid the situation altogether. I know it's a cop out but it gives me the safety of not being able to be accused in the first place. It's sad but all it takes is an accusation and your back in the system... Especially if your already on the registry. I am now.... in an unprotected class..

For me a safety plan was a means to an end. Did I like doing it? No. Did I feel like it was worthwhile? No. Did it get me what I wanted to do, well it give me some more freedom I didn't have so yes, it made life more tolerable.