Families of SOs Community Group
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My son's girlfriend supported him all through his trial, but after he was sentenced to 4-yrs-to-life, she dumped him, went back to her former boyfriend, and got pregnant with that guy's child. She's 5 months along now.
This girl (I'll call her M) has had in her possession something of my son's that is very valuable and she has promised me over and over again that she'll give it to me. My son keeps asking whether I got the item from her and I keep telling him no. He's getting very worried that she might throw it away or destroy it, out of spite. So, he wants me to put more urgency into trying to get it back from her.
So, yesterday, I went to her house, knocked on the door, but no one was home. So, I left a note on the door. Something I said in the note (that she was being uncooperative) made her mad. So then, she sent me a text message saying the same thing she's said repeatedly over the months...that she was not feeling up to looking through her many storage boxes, because she's pregnant. She also wrote some nasty things about my son.
I ignored her flaming and just restated several times that she has something that doesn't belong to her and my son wants her to give it to me. She said I should wait six more months and then she might feel like looking for it. I told her I was not willing to wait that long, because my son needs it to apply for a halfway house. She said that, just because I was being so demanding, she will make me wait even longer and may never get around to it.
I said I was willing to wait only 6 more days and gave her a deadline of next Wednesday. She said I would just have to wait and that she was finished texting. I told her to have a good night.
Several times during our texting marathon, however, she threatened to call the police and tell them I was harassing her. Well, about 15 minutes after the last text, I received a phone call from a local police officer. He stated right away that no one was in trouble, but he just wanted to talk about M's allegations that I was harassing her. He said he asked M several questions about the frequency and nature of my text messages. Based on her answers, he told her that my actions do NOT constitute the legal definition of harassment. He even gave M and me the state statute number, so we could look it up in the internet.
The officer was very polite and diplomatic, for which I thanked him. He said he had suggested to M that she could just give me the item and the situation would then be resolved. He said, however, that M was not responsive to that. I told him he had the same results I was having.
He politely explained that this is not a criminal matter, because no crime has been committed. Rather, he said, it's a civil matter and he recommended I contact the local county civil division and ask for their advice. I thought that was very nice of him to offer that info.
At the end of our conversation he did ask for my full name and date of birth. I gave him that info and asked if he was going to do a background check on me. He said no. (I'm clean as a whistle, but it still makes me uncomfortable.)
So, my question to my fellow posters is this...
Do you have any advice on what I can do to get this item from M?
By the way, about a year ago, my son gave me power of attorney over all his affairs.
This girl (I'll call her M) has had in her possession something of my son's that is very valuable and she has promised me over and over again that she'll give it to me. My son keeps asking whether I got the item from her and I keep telling him no. He's getting very worried that she might throw it away or destroy it, out of spite. So, he wants me to put more urgency into trying to get it back from her.
So, yesterday, I went to her house, knocked on the door, but no one was home. So, I left a note on the door. Something I said in the note (that she was being uncooperative) made her mad. So then, she sent me a text message saying the same thing she's said repeatedly over the months...that she was not feeling up to looking through her many storage boxes, because she's pregnant. She also wrote some nasty things about my son.
I ignored her flaming and just restated several times that she has something that doesn't belong to her and my son wants her to give it to me. She said I should wait six more months and then she might feel like looking for it. I told her I was not willing to wait that long, because my son needs it to apply for a halfway house. She said that, just because I was being so demanding, she will make me wait even longer and may never get around to it.
I said I was willing to wait only 6 more days and gave her a deadline of next Wednesday. She said I would just have to wait and that she was finished texting. I told her to have a good night.
Several times during our texting marathon, however, she threatened to call the police and tell them I was harassing her. Well, about 15 minutes after the last text, I received a phone call from a local police officer. He stated right away that no one was in trouble, but he just wanted to talk about M's allegations that I was harassing her. He said he asked M several questions about the frequency and nature of my text messages. Based on her answers, he told her that my actions do NOT constitute the legal definition of harassment. He even gave M and me the state statute number, so we could look it up in the internet.
The officer was very polite and diplomatic, for which I thanked him. He said he had suggested to M that she could just give me the item and the situation would then be resolved. He said, however, that M was not responsive to that. I told him he had the same results I was having.
He politely explained that this is not a criminal matter, because no crime has been committed. Rather, he said, it's a civil matter and he recommended I contact the local county civil division and ask for their advice. I thought that was very nice of him to offer that info.
At the end of our conversation he did ask for my full name and date of birth. I gave him that info and asked if he was going to do a background check on me. He said no. (I'm clean as a whistle, but it still makes me uncomfortable.)
So, my question to my fellow posters is this...
Do you have any advice on what I can do to get this item from M?
By the way, about a year ago, my son gave me power of attorney over all his affairs.
My best guess, unfortunately, is that the hard drive is long gone. I can think of several scenarios - maybe she felt it was her duty to give it to the police and she doesn’t want to tell you that. Or when she started her new relationship they came across it in a box and decided your son would never want or need it and tossed it. Or they sold it or put it in another computer. Either way I have a feeling the hard drive is gone in one form or another.
I'm sorry but sometimes court is the only alternative. And YES honestwitness you DO have a right to bring this up. It's a SUPPORT group for FAMILIES of SO's. after all