Families of SOs Community Group
WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...
shelly249
Hi Everyone, I am new to this group (well at least to posting init anyway). I have been reading through many of the questions and comments and am only comforted in knowing (finally) I am not as alone as I thought. I really don't know where to begin other than when our nightmare started. I am sorry this is so long. I totally understand if I don't get a lot of comments. I just feel I need to vent somewhere I won't be judged. At the end of June at 6:15 in the morning there was an extremely loud pounding on the door. First thing you should know is Nobody comes to my house unannounced. I am disabled and I have a special needs dog with a heart condition who must have medication at least an hour before any type of excitement (good or bad). When I opened the door there must have been about 30 H-Land Ofcrs standing my doorway. The woman in front just started screaming at me "We Have a Search Warrant". She never showed me the warrant. They all forced their way into my home and shoved me into the wall to clear their path. My dog started going crazy and running down the stairs. I begged them to please not shoot my dog. Not only am I her therapy human but she is my therapy dog (I have severe black out that put me in a sleep state. When I sleep I must wear a breathing machine because without it I stop breathing 40 times an hour. My dog warns me and wakes me up when I black out.). The one officer said not to worry they would not hurt her and told me they were all animal people (Now that I think about it I think they are all animals for what they did). They rushed up the stairs before I could call to my husband or my son (they were both getting ready for work). I bare saw them for more than a second before the one officer ask me if she could escort me out into the yard with my dog so she would not interfere with their search. She proceeded to chat very friendly with me asking how long we had lived here, how long have my husband and I been together. I answered her questions still not know what they were even here for. Finally I asked her what she was looking for and she said that back in August of 2014 our IT address (I think that's what she called it. I only know it has to do with computers. My husband and I are NOT very tech savvy at all) showed up on a site that on some occasions has been known to have CP. I told her that there was nobody under my roof looking up CP and that they would not find anything like that here. I told her my son had just been discharged from the Navy because he had gotten hurt and he was my live in "Tech Support" I had been having a LOT of problems with my computer and my son found over 30,000 malicious viruses in my computer. My son was able to clear 27 gb of memory getting rid of many of the viruses but there were still about 17,000 viruses still in there. About an hour into this whole mess my phone alarm went off to remind me to take my medication. I practically had to beg her to let me go into my own house. It wasn't until I told her with out the medication the black outs will be severe and I will need to be on my breathing machine for the rest of the day. When I went inside and up to my bedroom I am seeing officers in EVERY room tearing my house apart. I also am now realizing I am still only in my pajamas and not looking appropriate for anyone to see me outside of my family (I am sure you all know the look... A small tank top and pajama shorts are NOT meant for anyone to be seeing outside of family). When I go into my room there are about 6 or 7 officers tearing my room apart. They all went on defense mode when I walked in and told me I was not supposed to be there. I told them I needed my medication and I wanted a shirt to put on over my tank top. I also corrected them and told them I belonged anywhere in my house that I needed to be whether they were there or not. I went back downstairs and to the kitchen to take my meds and that's when I realized that I was alone... My husband and son were both gone. I felt sick and turn to the officer that was actually taking all the food out of my freezer to search and asked him where my son and husband were. He told me they let my son go to work and that my husband had agreed to a polygraph test. I asked why he needed a polygraph and they said he volunteered and that we were all be very cooperative. He also told me that my husband had called his job and told them he would be about an hour late. I thought "Oh Ok, I'll just call him in a little bit and make sure he is ok" (How stupid could I really be????) I went back out to the yard and the officer was kneeling with my dog. I told her I was upset because I didn't get to give my husband our customary Kiss/Hug/I love You/Be Careful/Have a Good Day that we have always done for the past 24 years. She told me not to worry that everything would be fine. About an hour later (a little over three hours since the whole pounding on my door), one of the demolition crew officers came out and told me they were finished and they all left. The officer that kept me outside had given me her card with her personal number on the back. I waited about an hour and called my husband (I figured an extra hour and a half would be a good amount of time). All I got was his voicemail. I sent him a text. He always answers my texts within a few minutes. A half hour later, I started to feel nervous and called his job. His boss told me my husband called out for the day (What happened to "He called out for an hour" like the officer had told me???). I immediately called the officer and she said "Oh he's still here we just got to chatting. He should not be much longer". Two hours later there was still no call or text. I called the officer again and she told me they lost track of time chatting and he was still there. I asked her what was going on and she assured me everything was fine he was not being charged and he was not under arrest. She told me he was able to come home when ever he wanted to leave. two and a half hours later he finally walked in the door. It was at this point that I finally got to see the actual warrant. He told me he failed the polygraph test and they told him he was going to go to prison for life. Now, this is how the polygraph test went. First they asked him basic questions (Name, Is the Door Open. Blah Blah). They asked him to write numbers then they told him to lie about one of the numbers he wrote (to get a "Base Lie"). The officer said "Good this shows us you are a bad liar". Then they asked him two questions... Have you ever touched anyone under the age of 18. Has anyone under the age of 18 ever touched you. My husband said "No" on both questions. Suddenly the machine isn't working write and the officer said they didn't get a good reading. They moved the bands on his arms and told my husband to whisper his answers. They DID NOT ask him the base questions again they only asked him the "Touch" questions, which he whispered "No Never". The officer then said that they were still getting a bad reading. The officer moved the bands again and the officer said that they wanted him to just nod his head and not speak. They again did not ask the base questions they only asked the "Touch" questions and again my husband shook his head no. The officer told him the test was over. A half hour later they came back in and told him he failed the polygraph. Has ANYONE here EVER had this happen to them?? It seems to me the polygraph was manipulated. They then proceeded to mentally torture my husband for seven hours. They did tell him he could leave at any time, but, he said "Why should I leave... I didn't do anything.". They asked him if he had ever clicked on pop ups and been taken to sites that had Illegal images. My husband said there have been a few times that this has happened. They proceeded to tell him, because he saw those images he was guilty and that he was a monster that they would make sure would rot in prison. My husband went to work the next day (God love him... He is still trying to do what has to be done). I made over 20 phone calls trying to find out about a lawyer and what to do. I finally found a lawyer that takes on H-Land on a regular basis and is one of the best in the country. She informed me because this is a H-land case they can now come to my home at anytime or come to us anywhere unless they are informed they we have legal counsel. I gave her a copy of all the cards (My husband and son each were given cards too) and she immediately called their office and informed them they would need to go through her for all future contact. They took our computer, my laptop and my son's laptop and all of our tablets. They took all of our flash drives, my camera, and my medical transcription class (all of my discs and my flash drive that the class was saved on), they even took my dogs I-pod!! The funny thing is they left stacks of CD's (I'm talking over 100 CD's) that I had made myself with family pictures and songs. Does ANYONE know how long it takes to get things back from them?? Especially since my son and I aren't even the one's who are under investigation, we would like our things back. The lawyer called me right back as soon as she was finished informing them she was now working for us. She told me they already had a prosecuting attny. She also said he is not very experienced in this type of case. Now, Jump to a week ago. The lawyer called and said that this prosecuting attny is convinced that my husband is out touching children and that if my husband goes and and admits to molesting children they will try to go easy on him... My lawyer told their attny that he was way out of line and way off with his charge. He is listening to what these crooked officers are telling him and they are lying to him too! Do They RECORD polygraph tests? Will I (or at least my lawyer) be able to see that recording? This prosecutor and these officers are ruthless and vile. My lawyer said this whole case seems to have become a witch hunt of some sort. She said it seems that they aren't getting what they want and they don't want to admit that they made a mistake so now they are grasping for straws that just are not there. It's only been 6 weeks and two days since this all started. There have been no charges or even an arrest yet. If they think my husband is such a danger to society, why aren't they doing... Something???? God, I feel like I am losing my mind. I told the lawyer my husband and I both wanted to go for counseling, but she advised us that with this being a H-land case doctor/patient confidentiality will not apply. So we must wait and slip farther into our depressions and worry. This whole thing is so surreal. I just feel so lost.
Our lawyer did tell my husband he could go to sex addicts anon meetings (She said it would look good for our case if he appeared to be willing to get help. She told him since it is anonymous she did not want him to speak or participate but just listen. She told him to prove he goes to grab any and all pamphlets they have and hold on to them. I am glad at least one of us can seek help, BUT, after this week, I caved and needed support myself. That's when I decided to join this group.
I don't feel like I am enough for him. How can I be there to support him if I am not strong enough myself? We did nothing wrong and yet we are being treated like dirt. My husband is off on Sundays and Mondays. It such a hard time. I try to put on the happy face and make our lives seem normal. H-land flipped all of the boxes I had packed and dumped them all over my house. Yeah, it has been a lot of fun cleaning (but at least it keeps me busy. I have started to unpack and put things away (I figured what's the point we can't go anywhere now) and I am trying to make our house look like a home again. I took pictures of the mess they left and took after pictures of what I have managed to clean up. I figured if my husband does get cleared of this mess... Maybe I could use the pictures in a civil law suit against them... Pain and Suffering, Emotional Distress, Defamation of Character, and I'm sure there are a few others I just don't have in my head yet. Regardless of the outcome, I will be fighting the good fight to try to get these laws and sentences reformed. There MUST be a change. This country can't keep going at this pace! I just read the other day that CP arrests have gone up 750% in Philly in the past year!!! 750%!!! Really??? Are They Even Serious???? How many of these people did NOTHING wrong???
My son didn't have to even take SO treatment when he was released. He has never gone to any treatment that would make him admit that he had a problem. I'm very thankful for that. Be careful what you do, because they don't care and they could and will twist things and use them against you.
Nak
No longer do we believe that those in law enforcement are our friends----or even decent people sometimes----even though that is what our parents have probably assured us as we grew up, especially the older generation.
No longer do we believe in fairness. And justice? Who even knows what justice is?
No longer do we think the government cares anything about us except to collect taxes from us.
No longer do we look at government as a friend, but instead as a force to fear and to be reckoned with.
It makes us question our own core values which we cherished so much as we grew up and approached into adulthood. Sometimes, at first, it makes us question God.
At times, it makes us angry as we feel as if we have been lied to by everyone as we grew up. Nothing that we have been taught is true, especially regarding LE, our government, and a fair shake for everyone.
When peoples' core values, the values they have been taught and led to believe for many years, are destroyed by reality, it confuses us and causes us a lot of emotional turmoil.
Just a lot of disappointed people in this country when they finally face the fact that American has become a bully with an insatiable appetite for power, even at the expense of its own citizens.
Sometimes I am so disappointed and ashamed of this country. But we must go on.
Trust me, this country is in a mess.
So sad.
rewdiazepam
Anyway, I know my belief in "the truth will out" and "the truth will set you free" was shattered by the whole process. They cared nothing for the truth. Diary entries written by the accuser showing not only motive but statements that would refute her lies were deemed inadmissible, witnesses to the accuser trying out and tweaking her story, weren't allowed to testify. We did get one key piece in, but only barely and with limited parameters, and that got my husband a hung jury. But the prosecutor is an evil witch who after stating she cared not whether he was innocent or guilty, and then showed how far she would go for a win by trying to coach the accuser to lie for the rebuttal (I heard her) So, my husband took a plea when it was offered rather than take another chance.
I've said it before, and will say it again, what we went through, from the start of the process, through trial and are still dealing with, has been far more traumatizing than the abuse I endured as a child. For one, it's a continuing thing. Things are quiet for now, but there's always that fear...what if they enact more laws? What if some idiot vigilante tries to hurt one of my family due to the registry? Etc. Our world was shattered, and I was powerless to stop it, or protect anyone...all I could do was damage control. And the system that's supposed to be in place to protect the innocent, was the biggest culprit.
And I do realize that we were the lucky ones. We didn't have a raid on our home, my husband was able to be out on an ORB while waiting his trial, his plea wasn't bad..3mos in county, 3years on probation (dropped to a year and a half) His probation officer was reasonable and is a nice guy actually, I went to school with him. And 10 years on the registry...tho' the AWA made it lifetime...I'm working with someone to challenge it when it's closer to the 10 years being up. A similar challenge won in my state....since he made the agreement prior to the AWA being adopted. And my state has reasonable laws so we can live where we want and go to parks, beaches, fairs etc.
I have PTSD from all of it tho'. I can only imagine what it like for those who went through a raid and were so mishandled.
It probably began around the inception of the War on Drugs when our politicians used the same old worn out lines that "drug fiends were taking over this country," that "our children's lives would be ruined by illicit drugs" and that the use of illegal drugs was a bigger threat to this country than any external force except possibly Communism. The ultimate cliche was that "marijuana use is a gateway to harder drugs," which has never been proven to be true.
They began using the SWAT teams and no knock warrants. Everyone clapped their hands as it was not affecting them, only the lowly people who dealt or used drugs. As a side note, the number of no-knock raids has increased from 3,000 in 1981 to more than 50,000 in 2005.
We did this for several decades and then came two events that have probably changed this country more than any one, singular event in American history.
9/11 and the passage of the Patriot Act.
Now the Police State was moving along very nicely, yet people still wanted protections from those "monster rag heads that attacked our country" so more repressive laws were enacted, more civil rights were diluted, and the government----and LE----were given almost unlimited power.
Many people now realize that we have created a type of Frankenstein monster with all the police misconduct. We have wiretaps, NSA spy programs, police gunning down unarmed citizens, and politicians passing even more restrictive laws.
Pandora's Box has been opened and it is almost impossible to put the Genie back in the bottle. The die has been cast; we have crossed the Rubicon and are now in the early stages of a Police State.
I don't know if America can ever recover from this.
When I was in prison, I studied people and how this country manages its own citizens. By the time I was released in 2000, I was firmly convinced that America was becoming a Police State.
The watershed moment for me was in 1997 in the Kansas vs Hendricks decision where the United States Supreme Court set forth procedures for the indefinite civil commitment of prisoners convicted of a sex offense whom the state deemed dangerous due to a mental abnormality. At the time of the decision, I told my fellow inmates that the United States Supreme Court would never rule that civil commitment was permissible, as I thought that when a person had completed his sentence, he would be free. I was very wrong.
After my release from prison, I would mention this to people and they would laugh at me and shake their head. Nobody wanted to believe the truth.
People no longer laugh----they listen and are concerned.
There is an old quote from many years ago-----"People in a democracy get the kind of government they deserve."
We asked for all this oppression and now we have it.
We have destroyed our own democracy.
So whenever we hear or read about an ordeal such as the one that Shelley describes, remember who was the culprit that caused much of this----the American people. We have no one to blame but ourselves for much of this.
rewdiazepam
One thing we are thankful for was how professional everyone was with regards to my sons arrest.
Our lawyer told us we need to get a separate lawyer for my son. He helped us find one and my son is going to meet with him today. They do not want him to go to this hearing without a lawyer after the lies and deception that has already taken place by h land. H land went to my son's job yesterday afternoon and hand delivered the subpoena to him. The hearing is tomorrow. They basically gave him 24 hours to find a lawyer for this hearing. How is that even fair???? These people are scum!!
What really happened was he would download music thru P2P site and with over 2300 music videos a couple cp got in by mistake.
Our first lawyer went the same way, telling me that my son really did something and needed help. After a couple months my son refused to deal with him and we finally found a lawyer who knows this kind of 'crime'.
I would also suggest getting your own forensics. We did.. and even tho it proved my son's innocence he still had to take a plea or go to trial .. of which he was looking at 25 years. He took a plea and got 30 months in Federal, 15 years probation.
These people are NOT on your side. If they accuse someone of doing something, you know they will never turn around and say 'oh, I'm sorry'.. and walk away. They will fuck you up.