Families of SOs Community Group

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/ Families of SOs Support Group

Hello I am new to the group (SO)

fun12u
fun12u
I have been looking for a safe place to find support and friendliness and I hope I am in the right place If not someone please let me know. But anyway I was convicted in 07 but charged in 06 of 1 count material depicting a minor in sexually explicit situation. Yes i take full ownership of my crime and am deeply regretful I knew she was young i honestly thought she was about 18 to 20 years old it was a picture I had found on the internet. I was back then very new to the net and was frantically as many men do searching for young naked women and i had found a photo I was attracted to and printed it out. I back then did not realize there was a such thing available online as child porn I thought the only way you got that stuff was taking pictures yourself which I was always against unless it was your child in the bathtub when they are babies (which nowadays that is a form of child porn here in WV) Well I served 1 yr of a 2 yr sentence because in WV you get credit 2 days for 1 now for 1 picture I have to live for life on the registry. I would love to find a state where I can come off that registry. All SO crimes here are in same basket and its lifetime registry. I personally have never nor would I ever harm any child. Although while I was locked up I was informed that indirectly I did harm a child by looking at her photo. So I also have a guilt now for the fact I did harm someone. But I do feel no matter a crime everyone should be allowed one mistake. Be punished then forgiven. I do believe in God and live in a bible belt state but He forgives.... Many times people don't Especially the ones that profess they were forgiven of their sins by Him.... Why cant people that claim that be the first to forgive as well? Oh well this was meant as an introduction in hopes maybe finding a support Network of some friends and I trook off into left field...

Prior to my crime I would search for friends, girlfriends, and love....Now I go to my low paying job, come home eat, mess on the internet, then go bed and wake up to repeat, and never search for a lady in my life for fear of them finding out about the time I fall in love and I lose them. Any reaction to any of this feel free to address it.

Thanks in advance
ThoughtAsWeak
ThoughtAsWeak
First off, I want to say welcome. Sorry you need us, but glad you found us.

You are right, you are forgiven by Hod, but man doesn't seem to agree with God. You paid your debt and that should be it, but you will forever have this label placed on you for life. Unfortunately, since you are on the registry for life in your state, you will be on the registry for life in every state. The only way to get off the registry is to petition to be removed (if that is available in your state for your conviction), the laws are changed due to advocates like RSOL in your state, or you obtain a pardon by your governor (never happened).

There are RSO's that are able to find love, even with the label, it just takes finding the right one.
familycircus
familycircus
You are very much loved and forgiven by God! True, man is less forgiving. I was employed at my church and lost almost all of my "friends" and even the pastors there when my son was arrested for his CP addiction. People don't know how to handle it. Heck, I don't know how to handle it. But the one constant is that God loves us and is with us in the most difficult times of our lives. I have found a new church where I am able to be myself and share about what my son is going through, and the people there accept me and love me and wait with me with open arms for my son, waiting for the day when he will give his life to the Lord. Not all Christians are like the ones I experienced at my previous church (most, but not all).
fun12u
fun12u
I was informed that If I go to another state then I become under their jurisdiction and due to the time of my offense in several states after 10 years for my crime then I can come off the list. Even the State police I register with say I am of the least of their worries but they have to do their job and register and keep up with me. They usually dont bother me much or even look in my direction I think they know what happened with me was a misjudgement on my part. In fact right on my registry they have age victim unknown but they also have sex of victim unknown. Here in WV you don't have the option to petition to be removed. In 2 more years I plan to go to Ohio because if what I have read about following other states laws about my offense then I can be off the public registry. The cops here said if I was a serious threat they believe I would have had alot more than 1 picture. And to beat it all I was a truck driver making great money and my own Adopted mother had my keys to my home found the pic and called the cops and they seem to have went off of opinion but it was still enough to convict. Since then I trust no one with the keys to my home at any time. Oh well I am a Proud Veteran that served my country Proudly and I am applying for VA benefits and if need be I would move to Mexico My Lawyer predicts 80% to 100% approval. At least if I live there i can live clean. San Miguel looks and sounds like its an American retirement place and looks nice to me
Independent2014
Independent2014
A lot of states that I've seen don't allow someone off the registry if their home state wouldn't allow it, basically it's a way to make sure RSOs don't target a state to move to so they can get off the registry. Definitely make sure that isn't the case!
fun12u
fun12u
If that be the case as far as being American in America I have no choice but to leave this country because I refuse to live without hope. My hope looks toward Mexico and I do know they are ok.
Advocate2
Advocate2
Mexico may not let you in - more and more countries are refusing USA RSOs because our gov't has scared the crap out of them - they have convinced other countries that any RSOs from the USA is coming to their country to do sex trafficking. We all know that you are not a danger (my son is in the same boat that you are) but it is not really about how many or when you did it - the punishment does not fit the crime - you served your debt to society and it should be done with -
fun12u
fun12u
I feel my time plus 5 yrs on a police know where you are registry to determine if you are of further danger to society maybe even 10 if you want to go overboard should be sufficient The reason I keep saying Mexico is because I have deeply investigated that option and yes they require some high stringent things but the idea of being a sex offender or not does not apply. What does apply is that you have a sufficient steady income before coming to Mexico ie: in my case be Veterans Disability and depending on the area desired to move to it can be between 1,000 USD to 2,000 USD monthly per person (I think its per person) We as Americans in order to feel safe would have to not live in a border state and basically live in either a place where Americans tend to retire at or a tourist trap area. Because many parts of Mexico are considered unsafe for Americans. But I am willing do anything I can in order to once again feel whole. I would be ok with harsher sentence for repeat offenders and I am not saying what I did is right I just feel like after so long I should have a chance at being whole once again. And if I cant ever be whole again then my life is truly over
fun12u
fun12u
Oh BTW I actually went and Visited around the Mayan Ruines in JUanuary and while much of America was frozen I was in tee shirt and shorts I loved it
janetmackie
janetmackie
Moving to Mexico is a thought...however have you considered that as you say, in order to be safe in Mexico you need to live where other Americans live and retire to? Those other American probably think the same about SO's as the Americans you wanted to move away from.in the states. And one other consideration, Do you speak Spanish well enough to actually function day to day in Mexico? If you don't know what people are saying, how can you think you are safe? BTW, How did you get the OK to get out of the country to visit the Mayan Ruins? If your state / supervision conditions allowed that, WV Registry sounds a lot better than many other states.
Independent2014
Independent2014
Once off supervision in most states you don't have to tell people you are leaving on a vacation.
rewdiazepam
rewdiazepam
fun,

As far as finding yourself a lady, if any woman was so narrow minded, so self-righteous, and she judged me so harshly for possessing one image of an underage female almost 10 years ago, and did not want anything to do with me because of the crime, I would probably say "to hell with her."

Go find yourself a real woman.

Anyone that judgmental----especially since you served your sentence, have a job, and seem like a decent fellow----would not make a good friend or partner in life. You want to be in a relationship with a bright young lady, one who can think for herself, or at least one that is not ignorant.

Passing judgment on a young man for an incident like yours is stupid, ignorant, and shows a lack of common sense. You don't need those kinds of people in your life anyway.

We need to be polite, but every once in a while, it does not hurt to tell someone like this to "go to hell."

rewdiazepam
Independent2014
Independent2014
I would encourage you to not give up. You cannot let this define your life. Because it will, but only if you let it. I was on the registry for a crime I committed as a young teenager that was decidedly worse than what you did. I had a lot of heartbreak finding my wife while on the registry, but I'm here to tell you it's possible. Please don't give up hope.
KnowNot
KnowNot
fun: My fiance is still on probation and on the registry. I found him almost 2 years ago. He still has a long road ahead of him. He was sentenced to lifetime probation, and I'm still here. So, there is hope in that department.

As for the registering, if your state says you are on the registry for life with no way to get off, that is how it is in every state. Our only hope for my fiance is that he has post ten for if/when he gets off probation.
mtbfan
mtbfan
Fun, I am glad you found this site, and as you can see, there are so many spouses, fiances, girlfriends on this site who all support their SO. Of course, you can find a nice woman. Someone who is not judgmental. I can't imagine someone turning their back on you if they get to know you, and you are upfront with them. I am not sure I agree with the statement that you actually hurt someone by looking at their picture. Many men look or even undress women in their minds, that does not mean they would rape them. If that were the case, most people on this earth would be rapists since we all look at people of the opposite sex. Do your research before moving and find a place that will make you more happy. I also believe that the hype about SOs is slowly starting to ebb down. Like some say, the tipping point is near. Good luck to you.
sallyblue
sallyblue
There is no reason you wont be able to find love. My husband is currently in prison, on the register indefinitely and I love him. He certainly had more than one image, heck he had more than a 1000 some of which were very underage. I have forgiven him. A person should love you for who you are and not your conviction.

You mentioned what a panel said to my husband "you've looked at these photos, you have hurt this person, they are your victims". That stung hard. Yes it's wrong, no one disputes that but you are not the person who hurt them and most definitely not the first or last to view it! If you hadn't looked at it, if my husband hadn't then would that image still exist? Of course it would. Many of the images my husband was sent were from the 60s when we had the P.I.E "movement" that tried to legalise it in the UK. You have committed the crime, you have owned up to it and you deserve to start living again!