This group is an open support site but not an attack site.If you have issues with individual member please use the PM function to communicate directly with those who you disagree with. We don''t air our laundry out in public. If you do you might not like the results...

Coasite... The invite applies to me as well. If you think I'm being unfair by all means send me a PM and we'll discuss....

This group is an open support site but not an attack site.If you have issues with individual member please use the PM function to communicate directly with those who you disagree with. We don''t air our laundry out in public. If you do you might not like the results...

Coasite... The invite applies to me as well. If you think I'm being unfair by all means send me a PM and we'll discuss...

I think we got a little off subject?????????

So getting back on subject...

I got a week off coming up. Been thinking of going to my adjacent counties and checking out their initial appearance court. You may ask why would i do that on my vacation? Dont i have anything better to do?
Well i do but i also think you cant change anything unless you get out there and try.

I challenge all of you find one positive thing you can do and do it! Make a difference. Hold a mom's hand incourt when her sondaughter is charged. We need to take action instead of letting someone else do the work.

I will keep you posted

Westy,

I have been thinking a lot about your new project, and I think the initial court appearance is a very good place to start. You really cannot do much until that point as the arrest and the dealings with the police and the defendant's attorney are more or less out of bounds to a third party---even to the family who will be the main beneficiary of your efforts.

It is at that initial court appearance that the reality of the situation hits the family of the defendant. The defendant and his family actually go to a courtroom and the loved one actually goes before a judge. Nothing makes these situations more real---and terrifying---than having a son, daughter, or husband stand before a judge and being asked to address the court.

Of course, the initial shock is the arrest, but by the time a defendant gets to the initial appearance phase, some of the shock has subsided and his family---his parents and other family members----know he is in a very troublesome situation. Help at that stage would be very beneficial. I think at that time might be hand holding territory for the mother.

I think you have the right idea and I commend and admire you for your efforts.

rewdiazepam

There is good and bad in all professions, all walks of life. I remember reading about women getting assaulted when getting pulled over by what they thought was an unmarked police car, they were not real police (at least the ones here).
The officers that raided my home (state troopers and homeland security), the guys from HS lied through their f**king teeth to get my son to confess. The state troopers (once they realized we were just "normal people", were very nice. Both times they had to come here after that to arrest my son, they were very nice to all of us, including my son the SO.

westendali, I am not a religious person, but I have to say GOD BLESS YOU! We need more of you in the world. I think your going to initial appearance cort is a good start. My son's PD tried to be helpful, but we had absolutely no idea what was going to happen, how the process worked, or what to expect.

Thank you Kitty! The problem with us is we are almost like robots. We go through the same old stuff everyday and we forget that there are those who are going through the process for the very first time.

I have caught myself doing this. It was like one woman i took to jail and she starts crying. Its like really? Get over it! Then i asked her why she crying. She said shes never been to jail. Ooopppssss. Major F...Up on my part. We get so desensitized. So i explained to her the process. We go to booking and ask lots of questions. Then she will change over to a uniform and get her pix taken along with prints. Then from there she will be taken to a dorm room with bunks and other women. I told her its not the most pleasant place but she will be ok.

So low and behold i see her again yesturday and had to take her to jail. She starts crying again! I say whats up you did this a month ago. She tells me she suffers from depression, anxiety, and other stuff. I said....tell you what. We are going to have a smoke (yeah i smoke bad habit blah blah) and thats what we did. Had a good conversation while smoking our cigarettes before i took her to jail.

So please be patient with us. Remember we have bad days too.

We all need to have patience with others. We also need to show kindness and compassion whenever humanly possible.
Now, with that said: westendali, yes your cancer sticks (cigarettes) very bad habit.
I smoked for about 35 years (give or take a few), quit 13 years ago. May 2013 I was diagnosed with mild emphysema and lung cancer. Two months later I had the upper left lobe removed, found out it was stage 2 squamous cell lung cancer. I was very lucky, it was caught very early before i had any real symptoms. I have been cancer free 1 year 8 months. So, if you must smoke, please, please get a chest x-ray at least every year. Your family needs you, we need you. Please take care of yourself.
i will now get off my soapbox.