erm.. now that i re-read this post let me clarify. i don't want to move to spain to re-offend. just that it wouldn't be look at like a crime. i think katie erm.. sadandmad got that wrong. that's my fault i should have clarified it better.

justin--
You are right about the power of forgiveness. Another important thing to remember so we don't drive ourselves mad is our personal circle of control. If we waste our energy and thoughts on things outside our circle of control we will feel helpless and like life has no point. But when we remember that we DO have the power to affect change within our circle (OUR thoughts, words, actions, emotions, feelings, etc.--NOBODY else's) and we work at it, we can find a greater measure of happiness and peace. You cannot determine whether or not your ex will forgive you. You CAN, however, forgive yourself and her. You can be free of the poisonous thoughts that accompany a failure to forgive. It is a gift you can give yourself this Christmas. As you live your life choosing to be the best you can be and being at peace with the things you can't control, your goodness will become more and more evident. Who's to say what positive changes will come to others as they see your example?

+1 what family said :)

"Just want to make a comment, Wisconsin. Last year, I said something about the super majority Republicans in my state passing crazy Draconian sex offender laws. (If you remember, our governor was hoping to be Romney's running mate but his Republican cohort, who wanted women to have transvaginal ultrasounds before abortions, made our governor the laughing stock of the country for a few weeks....his vice presidential aspirations went down the tubes.)

At the time, you made a comment about not getting into politics on this site. Apparently, I offended you... Perhaps you need to pay attention to your own advice. Thank you and Merry Christmas. "

Peek, I have not mentioned either political party, what they are doing or what they are planning to do. What I did talk about is a former president, who cares what his politics are, and that he broke laws. He could have been from the Purple People Eater Party and I would feel the same way about him. Same with GWB and many many other political figures that we have here in this country.

What I did not do here is talk about the parties, their positions, and their agendas. Which is why politics has no place here, both parties have done us in for their 'reasons', be them safety or whatever.

So please if you don't like the policy of no political party talk here then feel free to leave. If you don't like a particular political person or the things they have done, as long as it is not applied in a blanket manner to entirely one party or another and their willingness to 'help' or persecute offenders then by all means talk about it!

What we are trying to avoid here is a Dems vs Reps vs Independents vs Tea Party, etc. NONE of those parties are our friends, there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Anarchy-you could have been more clear but to most who are here a lot know you're not interested in committing another crime but interested in a better life. :)

yeah that was my fault i should have clarified better. meh ah well.

Oneofthem,

An earlier post on this discussion had someone pointing out that coastie should just "give it time" and you would "run off" the person who started this discussion (which wasn't me, by the way:). I am a pretty tough nut and I don't run. I do, however, walk away when I feel I should. I joined this SUPPORT group because I thought it would be calming to engage in discussion with others going through similar challenges. I liked the idea of a safe place to explore my own thoughts and feelings and to greater appreciate others. I did NOT join to have my personal beliefs or coping methods attacked.

You seem to be triggered quite easily by any mention of morals or religion, or anybody believing differently than you do about issues that are close to your heart. It is evident that you and I do not agree on belief in God or his ways, and that is ok because people have a right to follow their conscience. Unfortunately, your constant bashing of religion or those who feel duty bound to follow a personal "moral code" creates a hostile environment that is the antithesis of "support group" in my opinion. The truth is, I respect your right to choose. If I met you, I would treat you with dignity and respect. I am sorry for whatever mistreatment you've had from others that has created such antagonism in you. If you knew me, you would know I have a heart full of compassion and love for others. You would know that I struggle against my own weaknesses trying daily to become a better person and not just let life happen to me. You would know I am a fighter and someone who has passed through my own hells, planting my feet and swinging through it all, refusing to lie down and quit. It is too bad we will never meet. You are left with this snapshot view of me, a person who you've probably added to your list of bigots or any of your other colorful phrases. You'll never know the person who goes to school each day desperately trying to hold up a mirror for her students, trying to show them they are not their circumstances; they are not the stereotype they may have been given. I believe in people. I have hope in the innate good of mankind, despite all I know of its ills.

I believe in God. I am me, and who I am is enough. You may never respect me, but I choose to respect myself. God bless.

To those of you who have been a friend on here, thank you. I have had a lot to learn. Reading your stories and watching you rise above the tough circumstances you are in has been a help. I hope I have helped at least one of you in some way, too.

To answer the original question, it's going to depend on what country you go to. It would probably be best to contact the country's immigration department. Also, if you find a country you are interested in, go there for awhile. Find an apartment to rent for a few months and live amongst the people to see if you actually want to live there. Better to do that than move there and decide that you hate it.

This is just off the cuff, but I used to live in Spain. You're not going to be welcome there. It is an extremely conservative almost entirely Catholic country that until very recently was under the power of a fascist dictatorship. The king still has power, and even more influence. And he has a lot of ties to the now-dead Franco and his not so dead cronies. The age of consent is so low because earlier last century child marriages were not uncommon and were usually family-made matches, so the bride and groom had no consent. The age of consent is low legally but in practice, it is at least average with our country, and possibly several years higher. Young people live in their families' homes until the day they get married. Premarital sex is thus hard to accomplish, in fact a trip to any public park will reveal many young couples making out in broad daylight, as they have nowhere else to go. Spain is an intensely sexually conservative country, and they are not too keen on convicted felons. I love Spain and miss it dearly. But I'm never bringing my husband there, not even for a vacation. Too risky. We have however, been to Italy - you might want to try there.

been to italy too dirty lol. i saw too much garbage in the streets for my taste. hm... not spain how about mexico. age of consent i think is 13.

Do you have money? You could go to Montenegro. They don't care if you kill people as long as you have money.

It also depends on what you want as far as cost of living. Lots of Americans retire to places like Costa Rica and Panama because it is much cheaper. Just depends on if you would mind living in a country that is a little (or a lot) more poor than the U.S.

anarchy304: The website you linked to also states this: the legal age of consent listed here may be higher or lower depending on certain conditions. These include but are not limited to: Male or female; anal sex; vaginal sex; partner age difference; a partner that represents a position of authority; variations between state, territory and federal laws; whether partners are married or unmarried.

This is important when considering to move. I have lived abroad for many years and in order to do so, even witout a conviction, you must be able to obtain either a work or residence visa. In Spain, you can only stay 90 days on a tourist passport. In order to obtain your visa, you will need to show that you have a residence and/or a job in the country.

Also, from the travel.gov website: U.S. citizens who wish to stay in Spain for longer than three months or who wish to apply for residency in Spain will also need to supply local authorities with an official criminal records check from their state of residence or from the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Criminal Justice Information Services office (CJIS). Both types of documents must be apostilled by the state authority for state criminal records and by the Department of State for the FBI records.

In almost country worth living in, you will find this is the same. Also, like a previous post said, even if the LAW would not say it's not a crime, it would be important for you to find out what SOCIETY would think of it. These are two very different things.

And you would still be required to pay US taxes, as I am required to do also when residing abroad.

7momma you make a lot of valid points i have thought about. it's not easy finding a place where a criminal would be accepted. a single OWI in canada is a felony while here where i live the first offense is a misdemeanor. not easy finding a place where a romeo and juliet offense is accepted. ah well dreams are free.