Families of SOs Community Group
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The first part, at least.
This morning my son agreed to a plea, and will appear before a judge on Thursday. If all goes as planned, he will receive a suspended sentence, and be able to come home. Though he will face a prolonged probation, with a long list of conditions that will make his life very difficult, he will not be in prison.
Since we went into this being told that he was almost certainly facing at least five years in prison, it is a vast relief to have him home. On the other hand, without saying anything that might emperil his probation, what we've learned about how these things happen, are prosecuted, how DAs and judges really work... It's all been horrifying and sad.
Now we move on to the next steps, try to hold life together, and think of ways to rebuild.
This morning my son agreed to a plea, and will appear before a judge on Thursday. If all goes as planned, he will receive a suspended sentence, and be able to come home. Though he will face a prolonged probation, with a long list of conditions that will make his life very difficult, he will not be in prison.
Since we went into this being told that he was almost certainly facing at least five years in prison, it is a vast relief to have him home. On the other hand, without saying anything that might emperil his probation, what we've learned about how these things happen, are prosecuted, how DAs and judges really work... It's all been horrifying and sad.
Now we move on to the next steps, try to hold life together, and think of ways to rebuild.
In these situations, I believe the most effective manner in which to deal with them is to take small steps and compartmentalize things. Don't look too far ahead and do not worry about everything at once or worry about things that may never materialize.
Now that the plea is near, your son can concentrate on probation and the registry.
Taking "one day at a time" is so very important in dealing with these issues. Trying to find solutions to the big picture without concentrating on tasks at hand is a mistake many people make. If a person continually looks too far in the future in these situations, he cannot dedicate his full resources and ideas needed to solve his current problems.
Again, I am happy for you. God bless you and your son.
rewdiazepam
As we head toward the start of probation, any tips for both my son and my family would be appreciated.
. Best of luck it does slowly start to get better. My son still has some bad days but not as many as when he first got home.
I am glad he isn't going to prison. Definitely take it one day at a time. Projecting too far into the future yields negative results.
To use the often quoted Irish blessing (I have this next to the front door, which I bought
May the road rise to meet you,
may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
You and your son can make it through this. Every day is a milestone of sorts.
Best of luck
Come here when it gets tough, find a support group (alnon, therapist), take meds if you need them, read and learn about out plight, join a advocacy group (I like WAR), take a deep breath and live on!
You will manage this new life called probation, it is doable. Just take things a day at a time, you will find after a while that you settle in to a kind of schedule. Good luck to both of you. :)
It got delayed to this morning, and it was painful to hear my son confessing to things he didn't do as part of the plea. But the scariest part was that the judge made him swear that he had not received any offer that promised to limit his sentence , and asked that he understood that his sentence was completely at the judge's discretion. When he agreed, the judge to him he was sentenced to ten years, and started talking about "as you enter the control of the department of corrections," the attorney tried to get a word in, but the judge kept charging ahead, explaining how my son wasn't entitled to early release, how he would be "remanded to the county facility until such time as..." Finally the DA spoke up, everyone huddled, and the judge said "sentence in suspension " but we had a minute of head popping terror.
After that, we all trekked to the probation office where he met with a couple of POs, both of them quite decent to him. They pretty well immediately rescinded some of the more odious conditions on his probation, and they were able to set him up with a therapist close to home.
So, other than everyone in the family nearly having a simultaneous heart attack, it went okay.
1 day down, 4 years 364 to go.