yes

sorry I meant "due to the fear.... and have other.." been up most of the past 2 days thinking about this.... and it shows

Dear 3hopeful1415 ,

I hope you don't think I'm being corny or making little of what you are going through, It sounds like you are doing really great and have come along ways - that is wonderful. Do you pray? Do you believe in God? If so, talk to him, have faith. New things are scary but we do not grow as an individual if we don't step out of our safety zone. I don't think you are over reacting, you are just scared which is understandable. Think about the positive things you have done in your life since your arrest, build on those. Good luck to you!

Thank you. I still carry so much weight around from the past and always will when I would still would protect those that were hurt with my life. Add to that the public's opinion and how many jobs that I landed only to have them pulled when something came up in the check... hard to move forward when so much pulls you back.... I have been building on the positives which have driven me to have these chances.. but... there are times when it comes back........... thanks for the response it helps

Your biggest problem and obstacle will be fear. Fear attacks all of us and robs us of our confidence as we attempt to move forward. Many times our fears are completely irrational and our mind is just playing games with us.

I read your introduction and I want to remind you of a few things. Like myself, you served some time in prison, so I know how scary the road back can be. I know you are a strong person, as you would have to be to have survived not only prison with a positive attitude, but the few years since.

But I want you to take your time and look back and see how far you have come. Since being release you have made strides in bettering your life. If you have come this far, you can continue.

We all have our peaks and valleys dealing with these situations. If anyone here says they have never experienced fear, they are lying. Fear of the unknown and fear that we will fail paralyze us all at times. But you can do this.

Jimnjanna gave you some excellent advice. It is very difficult to get through these situations without some faith in a power greater than yourself. Sometimes we become weary and the fight is just not there anymore and we have to look to our faith to get us through.

You are much stronger than you realize. Keep your head up. You have come so far that I know you can get through this.

Good luck and God bless you. I personally believe in you.

rewdiazepam

All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart. I continue seeing my therapist which helps. I am heading out for the interviews on Tuesday and have had this going through my head and this has helped. I will keep everything that has been said here in front of me, or do my best to, on the trip.

Thanks again and it does help.

Fear, it keeps us safe and it paralyzes us.

I have been riding horses since I was 7 yrs old, fear is something I learned to overcome early in life. Fear keeps you from getting stepped on, bucked off, or just plain falling off.

But it can also paralyze you and those around you, causing you possibly experience that you should fear. Letting fear take over will cause a horse to almost lose their mind if they are sensitive enough to their rider, this will cause a wreck where both rider and horse could be hurt.

As they say you are your own worst enemy and your friends and family are right, you are holding yourself back out of this fear. I am not saying that you shouldn't have fear or that you should just ignore it. Because you are probably fearing something that you have no control over and that is hard to ignore.

This is what I tell myself..... Never leave an opportunity wasted. Have no regrets. Do the first the second will take care of itself.

The best way I have found to overcome fear is to face it head on. So you fear those jobs in those other states... You fear what the new people in the new office will say. Or what the boss will say... or what your new neighbors will say... NONE of them have to live YOUR life... NOT ONE OF THEM. Who gives two shits what they think. You CAN get the job done that they hired you to do regardless of what kinds of things that were done in your past. You have the skills they are looking for. So the only real obstacle here is you. :)

Remember only YOU have to live YOUR life... Those other folks, those naysayers, they are full of shit and paralyzed by their own fears... Don't let them drag you back with them... Being out front, wind in your face, feeling the hooves hammering the ground underneath you, running full tilt down the trail, is just so much more FUN!!!! Don't give up on the wild ride of life, you only get to take the ride once...

Thank you, all of you for the replies. It is because of them that I am now getting ready to drive 10 hrs to have a 2 day interview and look over the area for places to move to if I get the job...... now saying that I am not going to freak out, look over my shoulder at times and loose sleep but if given the chance and can find a place to live...... one day at a time... maybe live on that boat that I dreamed of doing as a boy, maybe!

Here is something that I learned when I did sales a lifetime ago... "Fake it until you make it" If you are terrified and unsure, put a big smile on your face, and FAKE IT... No one will know and when you are done and back in your hotel room, you can freak out then.. :)

Good luck!!! you're going to kill that interview!

that is what I am going to do myself thanks

Good luck and Godspeed.

So how has the interview and relocation research been going?

Well, interviewed and was given an offer. I have not said yes or no as I will now look at where I can try to find a safe place to be and of course they haven't completed the background checks but I am finding that as it was in 99 most do not go back more than 7 yrs so there is still a ton of ifs to go through.......

Go to local sheriffs office and ask for the compliance officer. he/she will give you al the info and you can tell by attitudes, a feeling of whether or not it will be a good fit for you.

Well, I will be finding things out this week. I am staying in PA for a day or 2 to judge the commute. I will contact the the compliance officer tomorrow and find out what is needed. I have commuted back to NY for the past 2 weeks on Thursday and back on Sunday night. My big fear is that from judging the attitudes in the office, if I am found out I know that I would be let go but every time I have been upfront I never got the job. This is only the 2nd time I have not and I landed both so I am not sure if, after some time, I should tell them or not...... it is always like a really horrible nightmare that never gets better....