Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
My son is currently in county jail waiting to be sentenced. I am terrified. He is a non-violent offender and may have to go to prison for multiple duis. I hear horror stories about the transition from jail to prison and about prison itself. Any advice??
He should be ok coz it sounds like he will be low sercuity where nothing happens
In county jail it's just sitting around with other bored guys. It makes for long and sometimes ugly days. Tempers flare out of boredom and frustrations and fears about court.
Once in prison the decisions have been made. No more wondering and speculating. They adjust to the situation in time and learn how to cope.
My fiance said the worst thing was to sit and do nothing. Keeping busy is key. He took any jobs they had, and took up craft projects, which actually we're so good he sold what he made, in the visit room to visitors and I sold them out here.
It gave him also a sense of pride and he'd accomplished something. Plus it helped pay his canteen and on my bills too.
As long as he don't get invoice in the drama of hanging with the tough guys or act like he's afraid or depressed, he'll be ok.
Mine has been home all a year now and he's proof you can get through the B's of being in prison and come out stronger mentally, and live a good life.
My ten year old grandson would do fine at a minimum security prison. Nobody really bothers anyone else.
He should mind his own business, do his own time, do not snitch---EVER---do not get into debt to another inmate, do not talk excessively to the guards, and realize that he is no better than one of the other inmates.
He should keep a low profile, find a job to pass the time, RESPECT the other inmates, as respect is a big deal in prison. If he does all this, I guarantee you he will do well in prison. Prison is not fun, but it is doable.
Until he learns the ropes, he needs to observe the other inmates and see what is and is NOT permissible. No matter if your son is big or small, an extrovert or a shy person, confident or not, he WILL find someone in prison just like himself to buddy up with. Many of the other inmates will be first-timers just as scared as he is. He will do fine.
I do have a motto for new prisoners-----“Be friendly with everyone, but friends with no one.”
Inmates at minimum security prisons are close to the end of their sentences, so their release date is near. As a result, they take great pains to follow all the rules. A misconduct---hurting another inmate or causing problems----would likely cause their release date to be set back up to a year or get them shipped to a medium security prison. At a minimum, the inmates have their eyes on going home, not causing problems. As a result, minimum security inmates get along fairly well with each other.
Nobody wants to go to a medium security prison.
On the other hand, at a medium security prison, some inmates have two or three hundred year sentences for violent crimes. They have so much time to serve that they know they will never see the outside of a prison, so they have no incentive to follow the rules. They have no problem knocking someone in the head with the lock in a sock routine if they don’t like him. But, your son will never see the inside of a medium security prison.
Mom, prison is not like you see on TV or in the movies. If you watch too many prison movies, you will be scared half to death. They dramatize these TV programs and movies to entice viewers to watch. Watching these movies will make one think that all inmates do all day on a 24/7 basis is go around beating each other up and raping each other. In reality, prison is a very boring place, with guys sitting around working crossword puzzles, playing spades or hearts, or reading just waiting for when they can go home.
You son will not be raped, so don’t worry about that. Rape is mainly an urban myth, as there are too many guys willing to give it away to rape anyone. Most “rapes” are inmates who are coerced into sexual situations, and I never once saw or heard of a rape at a minimum security prison.
I support inmates, but I also do a lot of work on the behalf of the families of sex offenders. Your son has a bunch of DUI charges, so he will never have some of the problems sex offenders have in prison; inmates don’t usually like sex offenders, but it is never a problem except in a medium security prison.
I was at both security levels, having spent almost a decade in prison, so I know.
If you ever need me, do not hesitate to message me.
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PS Listen to these fine ladies. They know what they are talking about, even though they have never been to prison themselves.
I was at both a medium and a minimum security prison. At the medium, I saw lots and lots of beat downs in which inmates received broken ribs, serious lacerations in the face and head area, and serious stabbings. A cell mate of mine was stabbed 17 times in the chest, which resulted in a punctured lung for not paying his debt of owing a forty cent bag of Ramen Noodles.
But I never saw any violence to speak of at the minimum security prison. Perhaps an inmate will get angry and there will be a 30 second scuffle resulting in a bloody nose or something, but nothing like you see on TV. There are almost zero weapons---shanks---in a minimum security prison, so there is no way to really hurt anyone.
Your son told you that, “. Once he is "sorted out" he will likely be in minimum security. Is this true??”
Your son is exactly right. The prison system does not place non-violent offenders with petty crimes and short sentences in a medium security prison with rapists and murderers. That just does not happen for security reasons. Your son will go to a minimum security prison where nobody gets hurt. He will do fine.
Your son told you, “He also says there is a period where he will not be able to call and that it is better for him to wait to call until he is moved to the prison he is assigned. Any insight on this?”
He is correct again. After sentencing, he will be remanded back to where he was before he was sentenced, probably the county jail. After anywhere from a couple of weeks to several months, he will be shipped to a prison within the prison system known as a “reception” or “classification” prison. There he will be classified and assigned not only the programs he must take while in prison, but also the security level he will serve his time. He will be at this reception or classification center for about a month or two and then he will finally be shipped to his destination prison to serve his sentence.
Once he gets to the classification prison, communication will be very difficult. He may not have any stamps or envelopes to write, and these classification centers do not have the best phone service. There is usually one phone for many inmates. The mail at this time is very spotty and any communication between him and you will be sparse. Also, they are very busy at this communication center, so inmates communicating with family is not a top priority. So do not fret if there is a period of three to four weeks that you do not hear from him, as that is the norm.
Once he gets to his destination prison, communication will be normal.
Hope this helps,
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BUT security is very heavy at these reception centers and violence is rare. Your son has non-violent crime with multiple DUIs. Nobody is going to bother him there. Nobody bothers offenders convicted of burglary, writing bogus checks, or petty crimes such as DUIs. If he was a sex offender or a known snitch, then yes, he may catch some flack, but nobody cares about an inmate with DUI charges. Heck, most of the guys in there have driven under the influence and many have DUI arrests on their records.
The people who get hurt in prison fall into one of these categories----
Sex offenders, but only if they are shipped to a medium security prison.
Known snitches.
People who get into debt with another inmate and cannot or refuse to pay.
Gang drop outs.
People who do not mind their own business or do not keep a low profile.
People who talk to the prison staff too much.
People who are smart asses and seem to “know it all.”
And even snitches, gang drop outs, those that get into debt, and the smart asses can do well at a minimum security prison, as there is very little violence there. Nobody wants any trouble as they are all close to their release date and on their best behavior. Causing problems or assaulting another inmate will cause them to get a misconduct, lose some good time credits, and push their release date back up to a year. Or it could get them shipped to a medium security prison where the “bad guys” are and nobody wants to go to a medium security prison.
A minimum security prison is also relative safe by the very nature of the inmates housed there. These are non-violent inmates who do not like or want confrontation, in contrast to the inmates at a medium security prison who were born into violence and see violence as a means to solve all their problems. Inmates at a minimum security prison are just normal guys who made a stupid mistake to get into prison, not murderers, bank robbers, career criminals, or violent rapists.
Trust me, your son will be fine if he just conducts himself with respect toward others and minds his own business.
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