thinking of you Hoping... don't know what else to say... just that I care, and am sorry for the pain you are dealing with. K

Rant away!

Let it go,,,,we all have been there,,,, don't let him control you ,,,, you can't control him either ,,,if you want changes it must come from you,,,

Here for you !!!!

I'm with Kim. Thinking of you...I don't know what to say but I'm here to listen. Vent away.

If you would of said no you would of been thinking the what it's. You made the right choice for that moment in time its done so move forward.

Oh as I read I feel the rage that was all too familiar, and it tugs at my heart. You know what to do And your doing it drawing the line in the sand. Don't let this demon destroy you and your husband! Hugs to you.

Vent your heart out and Boy-o-boy your son is one for the books!! As I read your rant I saw a lot of myself in your words and felt the frustrations right down to my core. Scary? Anyway, don't take this the wrong way but I kinda found myself laughing at your son's antics b/c they could have been written about my dumb-ass druggie son as well. What I'd like to know is why do their screwed up lives have to infringe upon our normal lives? What gives them the right to use us as punching bags and then expect us to open our doors to them anyway? I guess the answer to that is we don't have to. So my advice to you is to do whatever it takes to save yourself and your marriage. You need to throw him out the first chance you get and let him figure it out. He's made his bed now he needs to either sleep in it or get his crap together & make it. By State law here in MN we had to give our son an eviction notice and told him we'd had enough. He left, got into a crap-load of legal problems but it's forced him to decide things for himself. It's tough love I know but it's for their own good.

UPDATE: the rollercoaster is going UPPPPPPP! So after all that 'drama'.....he spent all that night and the next day putting out resumes ALL over, he showed me what he sent, there was a total of 30 he sent out and ALL in his field he studied in the NAVY...thank goodness....so yesterday, I went to see my BF's daughters new born and he wanted a ride so I took him, as we were passing this company that I KNOW has been his 'dream job' I noticed they had an add out for help in his field, so I mentioned for us to stop by there for an app, we did, he got an email for the hiring guy and off we went, while driving he texted his resume to the guy, I went into the hospital to see the babes, he stayed in the car, and I come out to him dancing in the parking lot next to the car...I'm thinking 'what the hell?'.....so I go racing over and he's hugging me so excited, I just thought he was losing HIS MIND! LOL...the guy called him and wanted to see him asap, so he told him tomorrow, I told him to call the guy back and we'd go over now, the guy was jazzed, so off we went...he was in there for an hour or more, good sign, he come out smiling! He does have to take a pee test on Monday, so he looked at me and said, 'ya know, with this job, I won't be able to smoke pot anymore, which is okay with me, this is where I want to be....."...so I told him that this was his LAST CHANCE at a shot of a future and he needed to take it seriously, that he can't go 'around' anything anymore, that he should know it doesn't work! He agreed....and then as we left, he got another call for another job in another state that was 10.00/hr more than this job (which this job is STILL an awesome hrly rate)...so he will visit with them as well....THEN if THAT wasn't enough, he got two more calls! So, now he has that 'hope' that because he got to it, it's starting to pan out and that he HAS to straighten up, he knows it, and fly right.....to make a life for him and his GF.....can this all be? If I wasn't there, i wouldn't have believed him, but I was present....I'm so excited for him, although there is still that piece of me that...well you know....

So for the LOVE of JOSEPH....I need all prayers if possible, I know there are alot of us in here that need prayers, but please include us! I need him to get this job, get on with his life, so I can get on with mine.

Still on vacation....enjoying it emensely, I think I could get use to this 'not working for a living' thing hmmmm....lol...

Dancing a happy dance for you AND him!

oh my goodness...maybe it is a sign he could be ready for the big time! Wow, so many opportunities...he must really be feeling good about himself. I will say a prayer he gets one of these jobs and continues to grow in the right direction.
that is why we never can give up...the miracle can be right around the corner!
((((((happy dance here too!)))))

MORE UPDATES: So for the past few days, he says he has NOT smoked pot, which when I look at him, he has been home, I see he hasn't....he did come to me the other day and say that he took a PTS test online and he flunked it and fears that he has PTS and that he needs to get help. REALLY? So I said "i've been telling you this for the past year"...he said 'sadly, I thought you didn't know what you were talking about, I know MOM, I should listen to you all the time, your very smart.'.....Better late than never? I'm hoping that this is the turn around for this young man. He said that after today gets done, the pee test etc, he will call the VA and make the appointments necessary. He got his license in the mail finally and he was like a lil kid! So excited. I just pray to God that this is it this is the turning point. So as I pray for all of us, I appreciate all your prayers back! Fingers, toes, legs, arms, all crossed LOL...

Omg,,,, your kidding we are smart,,,,?!?!?!

Any woo,,, boundaries , boundaries I can't express that enough,, it deffinetly keeps tha anger out of the situation,,, patience ,, we have to remain calm, even when the storm is brewing,,, what we harvest is what we plant,,, letting go,,, they need to find what works for them,,, I believe your goal us the same as mine,, one day these "adults" will act like one, and take on their responsibilities ,,,
If we continue to "nurse" them,,, they will never learn to eat solid foods on their own

Oh girl I Pray everyday for everyone in this group,,, especially the parents,,,

Love and hugs!!

Live, laugh and love,,, keeps the insanity out of my day!!

RANT ALERT: Yup today is a baaad day....so yesterday, he was going to go for the pee test, so he went to CVS to see what prelim results would be...couldn't have come up positive any quicker....told me it's been a week since he last smoked....well for a habitual user, it ain't gonna take ONE week to clean the THC out of your system, TOLD HIM that...but I guess we're back to 'he's smarter than me'...NOT....so the hubby is itching to get the old bedroom back to normal, it is a disaster of the kids clothes thrown on the floor, no bed set up, just a dump room, so as he's leaving at 5am, says 'make him clean up that room so I can get in there and get it together'....well the kid was already up and says' yeah no problem'....MY BUTT! It was like pulling teeth to get him to go through ALL the crap in there, it would be a 2 hour job max...but naturally he was such a putz....so the fight started....where is he now, on the floor wrapped up in a blanket sleeping...AYFKM? Can I tell you honestly that I TRY SO FREAKING HARD to be objective, to be patient, to be kind, well, the anger got me and I FLIPPED out....I have spent that past hour sputtering to myself....(VERY BAD HABIT by the way) and crying and he had the nerve to say 'well you KNOW I"m going through some stuff with my GF"....YEAH? Well HEAR THIS....I'm going through some stuff with my HUSBAND! " Does he give a left foot? NO! I want to take ALL his stuff and put it out in the driveway...yeah I KNOW, my bad for being the one that gets it all done even though I have to do it on MY OWN....but I'm SO stuck between the two of them...trying to keep the hubby happy and putting up with the freaking kids' bad attitude, which I told him 'you wouldn't be saying this if HE was home would you?'....he is JUST as abusive mentally as his birth father was to me, which then brings up ALL the old memories and issues that I spent years getting OVER....So, I am back to this 'I shoulda said NO'...back in March....I'm sick of this roller coaster, I'm sick of the ONLY time he is nice is when he needs something! I'm SICK of putting HIS life back together when I feel MINE is falling apart! I'm THANKFUL for this board that I can get this ALL out of my system...I can't take much more...soooooo.....THEN he says to me "this job is TOO good to let go by so I think I'm gonna get a wizzinator..." I swore that I was on the ceiling looking down at myself just beating the snot out of him......I 'calmly' turned to him, this is now 6 am, I haven't finished my 1st cup of coffee, nor did I and said 'really? REALLY? okay, so know this, I will have NO part in this what so ever, I don't want to hear about it, I will NOT TAKE YOU there, you get your OWN ride and you figure all this crap out yourself, I'm DONE! I understand how important this is to you, but I have told you over and over that you need to LIVE A CLEAN LIFE if you want the important things in life. You can NOT go cheating everything in life, you GET what you GIVE.....so this conversation is now ended.".....he walked out of the room. REALLY? I GET IT! He has NOT smoked, he is TRYING very hard BUT on the same vein, he is just making matters worse for himself every STEP of the WAY! And the gf, sweet as she is, has HER own baggage.....oh, for the LOVE OF PETE, get me through this day! I have to go to work, and smile at all my ee's and my customers and solve everyones problems when I feel I'm in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the TOP OF MY LUNGS and NOONE hears me!

Okay I'm done....phew, that felt soooo good....I think I need a speed bag or a punching bag maybe? hmph....

Dear Hoping:
I read your posts and I am on the roller coaster too, but it aint no carnival ride! I burst into tears when you said you want to scream, but you have to go to work and take care of all these people while you are torn up inside. I am so glad you have this place to vent. Scream and vent here. You deserve it. You are taking care of so many people. Take care of YOU and know you are being prayed for today.

Dear Hoping:
I read your posts and I am on the roller coaster too, but it aint no carnival ride! I burst into tears when you said you want to scream, but you have to go to work and take care of all these people while you are torn up inside. I am so glad you have this place to vent. Scream and vent here. You deserve it. You are taking care of so many people. Take care of YOU and know you are being prayed for today.