Breath,,,, release,,, relax and recharge,,, don't let the devil get you,,, I think you made it clear,, and if they value at work ,, I'm sure the out come will be in your favor,, if not,, then truly that's not where you want to be,,,, don't let it consume you,,,,

Release,, relax,, and recharge ,,, this is a test,, and this too shall pass!!!

Love ya

I hope your company can get rid of her because it sounds like your anger is still fresh and real and there is no way you are going to be able to do your job with her in the same store.
Do you have all this anger towards your son too? I don't know the story behind the ex girlfriend and I am sure you hate her for all very valid reasons but this anger is not going to do you any good. I doubt she made your son do what he did or maybe she did make him do these things but at some point you do need to release this built up anger and move forward. There are slimey druggie folks on every corner in every city and our addicts chose them and that lifestyle so maybe the anger is coming from something inside you that has not been resolved. I'm sorry you had such an awful day and I hope this all resolves itself in a way that you find to be acceptable.

Oh man!! Breathe is right!! You did the right thing by not striking out.. Not sure what advice I have, but know that my thoughts are with you..

OH MY! I can feel so much anger and pain in your post and it just tears me up inside. I feel you so very much. It always seems that when things start to mellow out, yet another trial or test comes our way.

What I will say is that although shitty, I am a firm believer that everything presented to us in this life is a test of our character and I believe something or someone much higher than ourselves puts these obstacles in our paths to see how we may react and dig deep to see what in ourselves we need to change. Although it seems almost impossible to fathom, perhaps this is a way for you to try and make amends with your heart and all the anger and hatred you are feeling toward this person. Anger and resentment is something that no one wants to live with. It is toxic to hold onto. Regardless of how you see her and how she may smirk at you, she is also sick, just as your son is. She has her own demons she has to deal with too and maybe this is also a way for her to make some sort of closure whether both of you are wanting to accept that or not.

I have no idea what happened with your son, but if he went to jail for her heroin, was it because he was covering up for her? That doesn't make things any different the way it went down, but it does if it was his own decision to cover up for her and if that was the case, then I wouldn't blame her for something he chose to do. However, if she is as despicable as you say she is, did she lie that it was his heroin and that got him thrown into jail?

Sorry for all the questions, but for me, and this is just my perspective, forgiveness is the only thing that will ever truly set us free. Holding onto these feelings of hate holds us just as much prisoners to ourselves as the addict is to their disease. You did the right thing in leaving work that day to blow of the steam, but maybe this could turn into something positive for you down the road.

I hope things do work out for the best and it may be too soon for either of you to work together in the same building, but these are all things to think about and consider.

Sending you hugs!

I realize everyone has there own opinion, but I completely understand your feelings and I would have done the same thing. My situation is similiar to yours except the A..hole in my life is my brother-n-law, He's the one responsible for putting his own brother (my husband in jail for 15 years), I haven't seen him or talked to him in 7 years and have little contact with my inlaws because of him. I've been told I have to learn to forgive or the anger will eat me up and it probably will but my wounds are to deep. God help him if I ever run into him someplace, I don't know what I would do. You did the right thing by leaving and if your company values you they will kick her A... to the curb. Good luck!!

The story behind this devil, he hooked up with her after he got out of the Navy. He was a 'drinker' none than the rest of the 19 year olds out there, but loved to party and have fun, when he got with her, she and her sister where shooting, this is when it all began. She is (and this comes from MANY a guy in school she had been with) has NO scrupples. She will sleep with whoever or whatever gets her high....her mother is into crack and she grew up with her aunt and uncle, whom the uncle would use her phone and call her friends to 'score' pills from. It is a sick family. Sadly, her grandpa is a detective, how ironic huh?

She knew from day one I didn't like her or her family, they don't care about anyone but themselves, they abuse the system to get what they want, sadly she is a good looking girl, skinny (no doubt right?) and comes off really sweet until you get to know her.

Long story short, when it came to light what was going on, I enlisted a local help group that came and got him and put him in the best rehab around, free to him, it is HARD to get in there and even my son knew how great it is and helpful, he was willing and went. She called me and told me she knew where he was going, I asked her to keep her distance, to give him time to heal, to make himself better and that she too needed to seek help, and she gave me her 'word' she would not see him for at least a month, she would NOT contact him......the next day, I found out that she begged her aunt to call her grandpa and get her in there, she NEVER told them he was there.....and there they were. I spoke to the place and let them know, but then he checked himself out with her and disappeared. She clearly planned it and he went along with it, thinking she really loved him, when all she wanted was him to get out, get some money and go for a score....we almost lost him then....he then moved all his stuff out and moved in with her. When his grandma was ill and dying (my mom), he only cared about the 13.00 in a bank account and she was in the background telling him 'tell her we need it NOW! Tell that bitch we don't give a DAMN what's happening, but we need that money NOW!'.....it was awful....my Mom just passed and I'm listening to this 1500 miles away....that is when it was all going downhill so fast. He ended up getting arrested that night. He and even she said it wasn't 'his stuff' that he wasn't doing it anymore and trying to get her to quit. They had been arguing and pulled over to the side of the road and the police stopped. According to her, in front of his parole officer, she told them it was hers, but they busted him as it was in 'his car' and then after she talked to her grandpa(the detective) they then charged him with possession. When I went to the court house for his sentencing, she was there. She was there to take his car and his wallet and his phone. She was SHOCKED to see me there. As they took him away and she was leaving the courthouse, i called out to her, took the keys, the wallet and the phone from her and she was NOT happy. "oh my uncle is coming to get the car, we can keep it at our house until he gets out'....yeah NO...told her where she could put her ideas....hubby came, took the car and she never visited him in jail, she never wrote to him, matter of fact, she had already had a new boyfriend months prior. REALLY? So when he came out he wanted NOTHING to do with her, this is when he started getting it 'right'......he went to school, and he found out she was 'pregnant' and she was telling him it was his....he admitted that he had a 'one nighter' with her before he left (late july early august) for school and that was it....but the timing was way off, as she would've gotten pregnant two months AFTER the fact....but trying to tell him it's his and he has to pay her money and blah blah blah....truth came out, the young sucker stepped forward and she had the baby in July last year....BUT sadly reports from her 'friends' showed she was still doing drugs while pregnant, sadly she has custody of the baby still.....ick....poor child.

I could go on, but she is spiteful and nasty, even hubby felt this was done with malice, as she KNEW damn well that I worked there.....

I will NEVER say it is all her fault he got into heroin, he's a grown man, he can make his own decisions and he chose poorly. That is not my issue with her, my issue is how she treated us in our own home, how even when she was TOLD NEVER to step foot in my house, she would walk in my front door begging for forgiveness and two times I afforded that only to be slapped with her disrespect over and over until I finally told her next time, I would call the police and get her for trespassing, which grandpa must've told her I damn well could do, because she NEVER came back.

She lied, she schemed and took him for a ride....and when he tried to walk away at one point, she had her brother and his friends hunt him down. I would have hang up calls at all hours....

She has no scrupples, she could care LESS about that poor baby and only wants government money like her aunt and uncle and her own mother, they've been in the system forEVER. That is why I find it hard to believe she actually wants to work an honest day.....

It's hearing what she was saying as I sat crying after my Mom just passed away 8 hours earlier..her lack of respect.

THOSE are the things that make me sick...

I have NO pity on her for ANYTHING....

and it is a test....and as I told them, it is her or me, but I will NOT work there if she is there....

I know I could walk in to work, pretend she isn't there, go about my day like a 'big girl', but he is my ONLY son, she almost took that away from me with her greed of her own wants and needs...nothing about what anyone else needed....

One last thing, one of the mutual 'friends' had gotten clean, for one year she was clean....she moved away from here, she came back for a visit and evidentally this one 'ran into her' and that night, the young girl that was a year or more clean overdosed on heroin....hmmm, always made me wonder....

So are they good enough reasons for not wanting to have anything to do with her, to not be in the same room or building as her. She is toxic....I don't need that.

I didn't do anything and I can pretend it's 'not my problem' but something between them, and not involving me....but I can't...it has everything to do with me. He is my sun, he is my world and I would die if it meant he would live.

And let me go out on a limb here, I can BET she will 'contact' him in some way to let him know she is working at the same store I am...just to put it to him...THAT is the type of person she is and if he finds out, she KNOWS he will lose it because NOONE messes with his mom, EVER....he would go after her for coming 'into my house' again....

She just sucks....

I've been in bed since, trying to pull it together...but ya know what....if they value me, they will put her in another store if not, well, adios....I will find another path, no skin off my nose to be honest....maybe that is what I need another path....hmmm....

I wish I could 'forgive' but it won't happen, ever....I turned my cheek more than three times with her and I won't do it again.....and I know I won't forget.....

i am so sorry you are going through this...you have every right to feel this way :) please take care of yourself :)

Boy and I thought my story was bad, I won't go into mine but believe me it's bad. Please take care of yourself, don't let her get the best of you. You are in my thoughts, good luck.

If she hasn't cleaned up her act it won't be long until sh is fired. Yes she knew where you work, and as unfair as it seems its a free country and she can apply for a job wherever she wants. Set boundaries and stop and think before you react. Think about it, for a little while you were back in a high adrenaline crazy mode and she was the one acting normal. Your son is doing great leave it at that.

Yowsers !!!!!!
I have nothing to add except my prayers.

How the heck did she pass the drug test for employment?

That's insanity! I am so very sorry that you have been dealing with all of this.

She does sound like a very sick and miserable person who seems to be trying to make everyone else feel and experience her misery. It is a shame when children grow up under those circumstances because from a child to adulthood that is the only life they know.

I really hope things can look up for you...how is your work situation right now and how are you holding up? Take care of yourself.

You have every right to be angry,what cracks me up is your place hiring someone they know is an active addict. Your main focus should be the recovery of your son. Is he doing all the right things such as meetings a sponcer ect. The tools and the people he hangs out in recovery will help to keep him away from his old lifestyle. I know it is hard but put your anger to addication and not people. This only proves how powerfull this drug is that it can make people do the most horible things as long as they get there junk.With the family support your son has a good chance. My daughter and I do a series of shows about addication and recovery. If you have not seen it yet it may help. Go to youtube and search theemptychairshow. You might also mention it to your son. Most of our guests are addicts in recovery. Listening to them may give him some tools to boost his recovery. Focus on the good of your son

OMG!!! What an absolute living nightmare. Given everything I'm impressed that you've managed so well under the strain of it. Most of us under similar circumstances, me included, would have lost it completely.

As for you situation, and looking at it from a distance, I'm in agreement with the earlier posts about taking a breath, breathing deep and trying to let some of your anger go otherwise it's going to eat you up from the inside out. I found when I kept the anger things never improved but when I released it to God's hands he took things over and my life only got better. Yup, easier said than done but don't let this low-life, poor excuse for a human do this to you. Besides, there are more constructive ways to handle it.

When life gives you lemons - make lemonade...

If it were me, I would be proactively trying to figure out the best, most efficient and legal way to deal with her. First option might be to write your corporate office as a concerned member of the Co's management team, to express your concerns over them hiring a known drug addict. Also, as a manager wouldn't you be in a position to keep a close watch over her activities and if 'any' little thing didn't look right couldn't she be required to take frequent or possibly random drug tests? Anyway, based on her history, it sounds to me like her chances of making a go of this job are what 20% at best? If so then it's only a matter of time before she quits or gets canned. When that happens, I want to encourage you to think about filing a restraining order against her. You have enough negative history with her Re: drug issues with your son that it will probably be granted. With that in place, then she can't come near you (including ever again at work) without facing arrest. In the meantime, hang in there because you're better than her...

So if that wasn't enough, we had the storm NEMO blow through, how fitting, and lost power up until last night...

I had ALOT of quiet time to think and really figure out my anger issues and how to deal with them.

My work situation WAS good, think I'll be eating crow in another hour, but I will explain the situation. I can't 'prove' that she is still using, the 'mother' side of me got to thinking how when they hired my son for a holiday stint, he stayed only a couple days and got a job with many more hours and better pay, but they gave HIM a chance, knowing his background. We do not issue drug testing, sadly. But I got to thinking, maybe with the baby she is trying to bring her life around, and how I felt with my son searching for a job and his jail stint hindering him left and right. Sadly, THIS girl doesn't have a jail stint because HE took the fall for her at that time. Again, he is NO ANGEL, I admit that freely. But this one lousy time, he was being a 'man' oh so he thought, and saving his girlfriend...we see how THAT turned out.

Anyhow, is she trying to change her life? Or is she being manipulative and nasty as she had in the past.

I will go into work, ask for a meeting with my GM and my HR manager, explain the situation to them, alert them to it, apologize HIGHLY for not pulling up my big girl pants the other day and act more like one of the characters on Dallas and smile fakely and welcome her to our store.....

Apologize for leaving them high and dry and walking out during a storm approaching and the need for me to help out, but as we see they made out JUST fine.

I have not told my son yet...but I will have to keep him away from the store for now until I feel this out.

I will NOT stoop to the level of being manipulative myself and using my position to cut her out, I will watch her to see what she is up to, have my 'peeps' keep their ears open and see if she is telling everyone about my son and their escapades.....if she is, I will then go up the ladder.

But for now, my head held high, I will smile, fakely, I will go about my job and stay away from her as much as I can.

Say a prayer for me, I WILL look at this as a test to my character.

So, off I go, wish me luck all! And thanks for the encouraging words....some day, we will all see more sun than clouds....someday!