I know exactly what you mean, jube. Mine would come up behind me and hump -- it was like that was supposed to be a turnon??? More like a dog for God's sake! It IS the little things. I LOVE it when a man guides you along by putting his hand on the small of your back when you're walking. May be nothing but it really does it for me. Or, like you say, taking charge a bit. Having that drink ready when you get home, not asking you if you want one. Making the dinner plans totally. So many things. Maybe I should start making a list, lol!

A list,, I love it! And it is the little things,, sex starts in the morning when you wake up,,, and all the little things all day long. It is totally as someone said in an earlier reply,, 90% mental.

Happy to report that the "parts" work just fine!!! Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!

ROFLMAO Good for you. My parts would like to work; they have no one to work with.

This just dropped into my lap, so you never know. Just felt so good to actually be desired again. Didn't think it would happen at this age. What fun!

What is this sex you are all speaking of? Much less great sex. I live in a small town where the only males on the dating sites are 50 miles away. I've given it up and decided to be happy with other things. I agree with TEA4. I want the love that goes with it. I want all or nothing.

Killbob, I was in the same remote boat as you....and I surely didn't want to date some jerk I didn't want to go out with in high school. When my friend gave me a gift subscription to eHarmony, I scoffed at first and then signed up and put in "anywhere in the continental U.S." I figured "what the heck...if I find someone THAT interesting, I will meet 'em halfway." Lo and behold after nearly 3 months and over 200 potential matches, I met Tom. And guess what? He lived just 40 miles away -- and he has shown me what real love and friendship is all about! Don't give up!

So what's wrong with Viagra? I think keeping a strategically placed bowl of it on the coffee table would be a good thing... Maybe sprinkle a little of it over his dinner. .....In all actuality, it's been a very long time for me. My ex and I hadn't slept together in years. He never liked it very much. I fear going to my grave without ever knowing what it's like to be chased around the kitchen table by the love of my life. THAT is what I want.

I'm in the boonies too. Yes, I go into town but not to any social occassions. This is a very rich little town full of it's own self importance. The "old money" people have homes here. Most of the men I would even begin to consider are all looking for that cute little thing my ex has on his arm. The show piece, the trophy wife. So self centered and all working a deal no matter who they walk over. So the availability is slim to none. I have the appearance of having some money when I don't. I too would like to have someone in my life. But I don't see that happening in this town and me on this farm.

I do not know how I missed this post!

Life is too short to not have great sex and passion in your life. I have had a few times.. plan to have it again.

I married at 26, I had great relationships and sex before I was married and I plan to have them again at 55 divorced. The ex and I had great intimacy, when he wanted to do it. It was a control thing on his side and there was nothing wrong with him physically, he used it to control me and on his side he suffered from depression. One of the reasons I wanted out in the end, I am a vibrant person interested in a sexual and spiritual relationship. One of the reasons I stayed with him also too long, because when it was good it was great! A lot of the sex thing is about you, what you bring to it.. I know that there are many woman and men on here that married young and maybe the ex was the only one ever. Do not relate what you were looking for or had at 19 to now, the parameters change, you are not looking for a father for your children as an example. A friend will say to me when "I dated.." and I said how old were you.. 16.. you can not relate that to a 40 to 50 year old date today! You changed.. life changed. You may have the same core values, but we will never be 16 again or 30. A good relationship with another person will have that understanding.

When I first was divorced all kinds of women told me things like, all men over 50 have ED problems. Not true. There are plenty of men out there who are in good shape, take care of themselves and guess what they want women whom are the same, and not all young cute things. I am 55, by no means a stunning beauty or at my goal weight.. it is the attitude, the self confidence and the independence that attract good guys. My personality. I am flirty, and my lawyer once told me that you got it going on, and are approachable, it is a great deal of my personality and fun loving side that guys like, or anyone for that matter. I always say, Happy attracts Happy. There are millions of guys out there... and you will not meet them at a Jane Austen movie or a knitting circle. Get out and meet people, and make friends. I am not trolling about looking for men, but everyone I meet or speak to is a connection. I had a customer say I would love for you to meet..my brother, my old college roomate, a guy a work with, my husband's brother, my wifes cousin. That works! AND I am not above saying he is not right for me, but I have a friend whom he might be great for if I am not interested. Yesterday at work another vendor asked me how long I was divorced, he said I didn't know you were single and asked me if I would like to go out for coffee. I only see him maybe once a week and I said sure. He said it took me a week to ask you, he said someone said you go out with so and so here, I said I do, but not exclusive and if nothing else we can talk sitting down instead of standing back here! I have talked to him on and off in the last 6 months.. just how it goes, and I like I was in high school, its coffee, not a proposal.

If you want to have someone in your life, and believe me I spend a lot of time alone and sometimes all of them are way too much trouble, you have to work at it, like anything else. AND do not date unless you are divorced and do not do it unless you have yourself somewhat together. You will know when.. sorry for the long ramble.. just my humble opinion.

I have nothing against the internet, but dating on line is not for me, but I have helped a few friends write profiles. I think if you are going to do it, pay the money and go to one that you pay for, not the free ones. I am fortunate, I am very social, have a job where I am very visable and "on" every day and meet employees and customers. I also live in an urban area that has a lot to do. BUT get out and try and meet people, not dates in like minded things you like to do. I am going to start going to cross country skiing again and I have always played golf with guys and women.

AND the money thing, if you have it, keep it yourself, my lawyer and therapist warned me that I am too open and forthcoming. Divorce is devasting financially. I never thought that I could be in position that I am better off financially than a guy I a with.

This was the brother of a guy that I graduated from high school. A bunch of us got together before I went to Disney and there was an instant connection. We've been facebooking and emailing and it just happened. Have no idea if there will be more but this was what I desperately needed right now. He's fun and I've had 20 years of being responsible. Time for a little special stuff for me.

I meant to start off and say no one is ever too old.. and see jwalkr..the main thing for me.. he better be fun! HUG

I'm Catholic and one thing they teach real well is that no sex is dangerous. Not what the TRY to teach, but...

All very well to go for the deep emotional connection, but be careful of the "all or nothing" that can leave you warped. In particular, be careful that the combination of biological drives and over-romanticizing sex doesn't lead you into a bad relationship, or a relationship that you aren't ready for. If you don't respect your body's needs, it can and will warp your judgment in order to fool you into getting what it wants. Think about your last diet if you don't believe me.

I'm one to talk here - I've only ever had sex with the stbx, and never casual. But here's the thing: it's going to be years before I'm ready for another serious relationship. My work has my hands on naked people all day. So I can't afford the luxury of pretending that the big head can be in charge all the time. I have to stay professional when I'm working, which means I have to stay healthy and unwarped. I have to at least be open to the possibility of sex with someone other than my One True Forever Soul Mate. Not tonight, not anytime soon, but saying "all or nothing" means "nothing" for a dangerously long time if not forever.

I'm not up for casual or indiscriminate sex, but if we are having fun together and there is trust and a connection, I'm not holding out for something that is on the road to wedding bells and white picket fences. A FWB has to be a real friend, but doesn't have to be True Love.

MsTerey made me laugh with her comment:
"AND the money thing, if you have it, keep it yourself, my lawyer and therapist warned me that I am too open and forthcoming. Divorce is devasting financially. I never thought that I could be in position that I am better off financially than a guy I a with."
I came out in great financial shape post-divorce, but my attorney and my therapist still gave me stern warnings: "Be careful! You want to know that a man loves you for YOU!"
A close male friend warned me: "You want to make sure some guy loves you for you -- NOT for your TRACTOR!" (This friend has serious "tractor-envy.")
So after I had met Tom, one day I invited him over to my little farm the first time, I was relieved that he didn't oooh and aaah over my New Holland D-29. I figured, "Hell, the man owns his own AIRPLANE...a tractor is small potatoes in comparison." But when he saw my SNOWBLOWER he got all excited! As it worked out, that's a good thing...he spent 15 hours blowing snow after our early snowstorm Dec. 19th & 20th! And I enjoyed watching him do it -- from indoors where it was warm and dry!

For crying out loud....you mean all I have to do is buy a snowblower??? Think "used" will do?