I feel for you.

As you may have read in another post both my kids have been underweight most of their lives. Luckily they were never very picky. When they were little we used to spin the globe once a month (all we could afford) so that they learned to eat a wide variety of foods right from the get go. One of their favourite things was a massive lazy Susan type thing I found at a thrift shop. It had room for a big bowl in the center and came with 10 smaller bowls around the outside. We'd fill the center with salad and all the little bowls with fattening add-ons like cashews, cheese, diced egg and avacado, The kids had so much fun spinning and adding that they never really paid that much attention to how boring mom & dad's salads were by comparison.

Homemade Beef & Burritos (modified milk calendar recipe) were an enormous hit with my son and loaded with high fat sour cream etc. they packed a lot of calories. Plus they were fun so he shoveled quite a few. We rounded out the meal (like most of our meals) with both a tossed and a fruit salad. I'd have one skinny burrito and a half a plate of veg salad with fruit salad for dessert and my son would have near 6 oozing monstrosities and barely enough salad to appease me and would pour his fruit salad over heaps of high fat ice cream for dessert. Sometimes he'd even top the whole thing off with syrup, honey or whipping cream. The servings were radically different but I was still only making one very quick very easy meal.

It's only a couple of ideas but I hope it gets you thinking in ways that will make your life easier.

Cheers

Portion control is one method, but that can be tiring seeing your son eat huge platefulls and you get a small saucer. :(

Perhaps your son could have a "pre-dinner" where he can pack on the calories. He may miss having you at the table, but if he is old enough to understand how your weight issue is serious that may help him. He could also have a post meal.

Could you fill up on salad first?

Wow, this is harder than I thought!

Hmmm, we have some similarities going on here. I need to lose and my b/f needs to just maintain. He makes me shrimp, fish or chicken most of the time and he has mostly these gigantic salads. Serving bowl size. All sorts of veggies; chopped zucchini, garbanzos, olives, tomatoes and more. Now and then some grilled chicken on the salad and he loves soups that he makes from scratch.

Sometimes, I'll have my chicken or fish with veggies and he'll make a gluten free, yeast free flat bread pizza and stock pile it with veggies and tomato sauce (from scratch usually). He wasnt out to lose weight but he more or less stablized himself. We also have a lot of smoothies.

What sort of food do you and your wife like to have for dinner? Maybe that could help me provide more ideas.

well my son is 17 so he does understand the reason why we are all eating so different. we eat mostly chicken and seafood. and my son mostly red meats but some chicken and seafood. i am allergic to wheat and my wife allergic to warming spices like ginger curry paprkia, ect.. even the seasoning in taco and burrito mixes causes a reaction with her. and i cant eat pork. it just reeks havoc on my body. i do love it but it doesnt like me.and my son..well he is a human trash can.he eats anything.

I really feel for you! That must be a nightmare to prepare a bunch of different meals with limits. What about fajitas without seasoning? You can even add beans for more protein and maybe a brown rice. Or a chili dish with limited seasoning for your wife. And you can add ground turkey or ground chicken to the dish with beans and lot of veggies.

sarjohnst .. yes it is a nightmare in my house. i like the fajita stye idea. i am a chef so i can alter the seasoning and yeah having different options to add in seems like at least one dish for one meal. or at least as close to it as we are going to get.
thanks everyone else too for help