I don't have an answer but totally understand what you are talking about. When I weighed 135 I thought I looked like I do now at 196. One time I had lost from 280 to 160 & didn't see a difference. I had to use logic that my clothing was a smaller size, so I must be too. It did not change my self image. I think positive affirmations can help. Telling yourself or writing down that you look nice. I'm trying to work on it. I hope if you find something to suggest trying you will share. But, whatever, know you are not alone!

Right there with you ladies. I recently went clothes shopping (something I hate) because after losing our farming business I needed to get interview appropriate clothes. It was a thing. The journal entry is below.

http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3600555/journal/10119865

I've not mastered the whole negative body image issue. Not by a long shot but I'm learning to break it up into smaller challenges. I'm learning to be less judgmental of others who I perceive as being smaller and prettier than I am. I'm learning (slowly) to be less judgmental of myself by breaking myself up into my "constituent" parts. For example I have no grief with my ankles. LOL If I take a headless self portrait I have less grief with my waist than when I look in the mirror or look down at myself.

Funny story - hubby caught me grumbling about my stomach the other day. I was looking down at it and poking at the excess muttering. He made the point that everyone has folds when they bend forward like I was. If I'd seen someone else beating themselves up over something like that I'd have seen the disconnect, but not for me. He got me to stand really tall in front of the mirror such that I could see my profile. Objectively, I could see that my chest now sticks out further than my stomach but only when I narrowed my focus to my core. Looking at my whole self things got wonky again. So I'm basically nuts ; ) but I'm working on it.

Good luck to you both.

I try to keep in mind that no matter how big I think I am, and how discouraging that can be "if I let it," there are so many people out there who look just beautiful even if they are quite large. Right now I'm thinking of how Jennifer Hudson was before she lost weight, and Star Jones, and so many more. I know people in my life who are much bigger than they'd like to be but they are still beautiful, inside and out and I try to remind of that whenever the need seems to be there. We are so much more than our clothing size.

So, hold your shoulders up high and take pride in yourself as a person who has goals and many achievements in her pocket.
Hugs,
~Lorrie

An example of a very beautiful young woman who is not at her ideal weight yet is in my photos. I think it's the 6th one. A real beauty inside and out. I wish we could all see our inner beauty when we look in that damndable mirror. Maybe we just need to tilt the mirror to a more flattering angle - it shouldn't discourage us. For me, it's like the webcam, I hate to be on it, It's like someone took my picture through a peep hole. Ya suppose there's a good angle for that thing too? hehehe.

Caught this commercial on television last night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wvGssI-Sis&feature=kp

BIG CORRECTION TO MY RESPONSE!!!!!

Oh how I wish I was at 196! I am at 296! A tiny difference there! LOL. Facing50, that commercial is great. I love the little girl looking at herself in the mirror.
There are very few pictures of me out there because I just don't want to be memorialized on film. Trying to get past that. I'm thinking of taking my camera with me to my therapist's office & ask her to take my picture once a month when I am there. That's when I weigh. It might be nice to have the pics for the journey.

I am still so glad this was posted & that so many have responded. Thanks to all, and especially Annewinnet!

Weight lost should never be about looks but about health I'm 5'8 and I never want to weigh less then 175 or wear anything smaller then a size 10 skinny to me is just as unhealthy as being over weight and my opinion is anything smaller the a size 10 on a person my height is un attractive . Curves are way sexier then a stick

Like some of you, I have trouble judging how I really look. So now when I see another woman who I guess to be about the size that I am, I ask my husband if she is bigger or smaller than me. He is a very honest man, so I trust his response. You would be surprised how often my judgment about our relative size is wrong.

well i know by bmi i am 100 lbs over weight, and thats at the high end of my bmi i am going by. just seems i am like 200 to 300 lbs over weight.

body image is in our heads...it takes a lot to overcome. I have had the same image of myself since my teens...the only thing that helped me was accepting myself and loving myself. Always areas to work on and improve but no sense in abusing myself either.

I wore a bikini yesterday....I am not comfortable in them at all but its in my yard. My Sil came over said I look great...she took a picture to show me...and I don't look as bad as I feel in that suit..

I have this problem to. Days I feel down I look fat. Days I feel good about me and dress up and do my hair I think I look sexy and hot. I'm 5'8 and about 166, I used to be 200 at my heaviest and 130 at my thinnest. I see old pics of me at 130 and was like "and I thought I was fatt back then" I really do think it is us riding that positive wave and how we keep it up. When I'm on it I exercise regularly and eat good. But on that bad wave it all goes down the drain. People tell me I look great but I don't believe them cause an old pic surfaces on Facebook from throwback Thursday. Now, I LOVE my curves. My chest my rear and hips. My waist flares out nicely, but the side view I look pregnant. And my double chin. But its all about that positive wave we have to keep riding.

I'm so glad I'm the opposite of most of yall I think I'm too skinny way before I reach the weight my bmi say I should be I wear my weight well I look as if I weigh 50 lbs less then I do thank god.. I love my curves just want to tone my stomach.. l my thighs are my favorite part of my body.. when I was younger I thought I was fat until my mother told me photo my self and look at the pictures and I would see what others see while looking in mirrow I see what my mind wanted me to se I ended up falling in love with my curves

Goldilock I'm 5"8 too and I never want to weigh less then 175 oh no and not more then 180