sorry for your losses please dont call yourself a fruit loop you have been through alot having mental health issues does not make u less LOON fruit loop are hate words society puts on us,, you are person struggling and deserve compassion ,, keep reaching out at least you can fight for those children I am fifty eight had to quit teaching and have no children suffer from really bad depression ,, hugs and kindness to you,,, I can tell by your pic you are a loving dad bmw

i think that if you belve your self to be copenent enough to look after your children than your schould go for custodie failing that a lot more visatting rights ..............your son needs to see you more that one a month ...................................................god bless

I have already lost all rights to my son. they don't have to let me see my son so I kiss Ass and don't comment when they say things that would normally result with there face having a harsh introduction with my fist or a wall.

>>Do you think that is a possibility?

Sure. A lot of it depends on the present time. Sorry it is difficult, but see him as often as possible, .... and show him you love him. Not much else you can do under the circumstances ... but it will be effective.

I can only tell you....it is within your power to help regain what you have missed out on in your sons life whatever the reasons. How much do you want this possibility and what do you believe is needed to obtain it. Make it your goal and Im sure if you make it your top priority things will work in your favor. Best Wishes to you and your son.

one tip....during the times you cannot see him...write to him...tell him how much you miss him......ect....i wrote to my daughter before she was born.....this way when they grow up ....they can see what you felt in writing...just a suggestion :-).

I'd also suggest, as someone else did, keep a journal of sorts, write him letters during each week, take pics of yourself doing things you enjoy, favorite places you've been, as well as just you as you physically change from year to year. Write down things you'd say to him if he were there with you in person as well.

At some point, you will have the opportunity to give that to him, it might have to wait til you are legally able to have custody (that can still happen) or more visitation and no one can keep it from him.
That will show him you never forgot him and also let him get to "know" you in ways he can't just now.

Please don't give up, people and situations change and though slim,
there remains the chance that at the least you will be able to gain more visitations with him at some point.

Perhaps there is a group in your area for fathers without custody/visitation.
One father started one in my community and it's been a real help to those gentlemen.

Please, please, stop seeing yourself as a fruit loop, whatever mistakes you made then are done and over with.
Today you are no longer that person. Keep working on making you the best person you can so when your son does meet you, he will meet an awesome father!!!!

No matter what, don't give up hope, nothing is cast in stone.

Wishing you the best possible outcome....

thank u all for your posts I cherish all of your sugeustions and will try my best to apply them. I love the journal idea and getting a job for a better income. It is sort of hard for me to work because I care for my father who is domented and incontinent and my aunt who is domented. I am looking for a night shift job so I can accomplish that task at hand

Drew:
You have truly been through hell. I am so sorry for all your losses. As someone else said, please don't put yourself down. Mental Illness is a real disease. You are not less than because you are sick.
I am so sorry you lost custody of your son. I think all the advice you have been given about seeing him as often as you can, about keeping a journal & pictures is all good. And you are his FATHER. No one can ever take that away from you. As he grows older, he will remember your visits better and better. Also, nothing is cast in stone. You might get him back or at least get partial custody.
Drew, you say you are caring for your father and your aunt? That is a job. Is there any way social services can come in to help out so that you can get an outside job?
You are young and many, many things can change for the better.
Keep your hope alive. Please. Get help for your illness if you haven't already. I hope they find a way to help you. After all you;ve been through anyone would be very depressed.
And remember, you deserve love and compassion. I send you hugs and prayers.
Dreer

So sorry to read this. I don't have any ideas to add, but I hope you're able to get some comfort from them.

Hi Drew...besides journaling, since you are able to be around him once a month, take a bunch of pictures each time. Try to get some of the two of you together.. before you see him again, get a picture frame and make a collage. With pics, his favorite things ( toys, trucks, whatever) and show it to him next time. It will continue to refresh his memory of you and your time together. Just a thought! Hugs to you and hope we get to talk again soon!
Jules

Can you fight to get more visits? He is small so his reaction is normal and as he gets older yes he will know you even with monthly visits. I feel so sad for you to lose your wife and son:( not sure why custody was lost but onceore stable you can prove yourself and work on more visits then mayne custody. Sending hugs.

Hey sweetie. I don't have much to add to the other replies. you have gotten alot of good advice. I know it's so hard only seeing him once a month. I know you have been through so much, especially the loss of your wife. You are such a great friend to me and I really hope that in time you will be able to get more visitation with him and one day regain custody. You know I am here for you, okay? Just a pm away.

(((((((( BIG HUGS ))))))))))

LMT

I bought this back because of people asking about certain things