Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Today has gone from Good to ok to bad to depressing to horrible.
Everything is out to bug me today. Little things like a botton falling off my jacket makes me wanna scream.
I think I had my second panic attack ever today. My last one was 3 years ago. I knwo right? Not much to whine about.
What set me off was a person basically telling me that I'm dumber than a caveman(well woman) and is not fit for my future job as a teacher. He didn't say it that directly of course and may not even meant it but my disturbed brain interpeted it like that. Did not make it better that he is a teacher and a damn good one.
Broke down the second i came out of the building. was about to break infront of him but that would've been very bad.
I want to tell him that I'm suffering from depression and it makes certain things hard for me to do (like....function). but he is a person that would see depression as something lazy people blame things on or I just want a excuse. Tell me snap out of it. yeah...working on that one.
People do not understand that depression is a mental thing. Its not that I'm having a bad day. I'm having a bad decade.
I'm super aware of that I can't let my depression stear me when I am out and teaching at a real job. But then I wont have some know-it-all telling me that I'm not good enough because I can't be as he wants me to be.
10 years of my 23 year long life have I spent in depression. 6 of them in deep deep darkest place ever depression. 4 past years as just been going better and better YAY. But I still fall in to this.
I wanna shut off. Sat and looked at flight tickets today, as far away from here as possible is looking pretty good. But yeah right....I've done that before and found that I can travel to the other side of the world I'm still me. I'm the problem.
I have no idea what I'm rambling about. Or why I'm writing here.
I just feel so damn lonely.
Everything is out to bug me today. Little things like a botton falling off my jacket makes me wanna scream.
I think I had my second panic attack ever today. My last one was 3 years ago. I knwo right? Not much to whine about.
What set me off was a person basically telling me that I'm dumber than a caveman(well woman) and is not fit for my future job as a teacher. He didn't say it that directly of course and may not even meant it but my disturbed brain interpeted it like that. Did not make it better that he is a teacher and a damn good one.
Broke down the second i came out of the building. was about to break infront of him but that would've been very bad.
I want to tell him that I'm suffering from depression and it makes certain things hard for me to do (like....function). but he is a person that would see depression as something lazy people blame things on or I just want a excuse. Tell me snap out of it. yeah...working on that one.
People do not understand that depression is a mental thing. Its not that I'm having a bad day. I'm having a bad decade.
I'm super aware of that I can't let my depression stear me when I am out and teaching at a real job. But then I wont have some know-it-all telling me that I'm not good enough because I can't be as he wants me to be.
10 years of my 23 year long life have I spent in depression. 6 of them in deep deep darkest place ever depression. 4 past years as just been going better and better YAY. But I still fall in to this.
I wanna shut off. Sat and looked at flight tickets today, as far away from here as possible is looking pretty good. But yeah right....I've done that before and found that I can travel to the other side of the world I'm still me. I'm the problem.
I have no idea what I'm rambling about. Or why I'm writing here.
I just feel so damn lonely.
chelle37
HI Manito! I'm sorry you're going through this! I know there are so many people in the world that don't understand depression or who are just plain insensitive. I'm a school social worker, and I can tell you from experience that your depression can give you lots of empathy with your students that others that haven't been through it don't understand. I know for me it's such a gift to have a teacher who "gets it" when I need to see a student who is struggling even though they're supposed to take a math test or whatever that day. Your depression at some point may be your biggest asset in teaching in the sense of giving you empathy, you'll see things in kids that others won't. Hang in there and don't let this guy dampen your spirit!
deleted_user
You're right. Depression isn't something that you can just snap out of. You don't mention whether or not you're in therapy or on medications. If not, I would go to your doctor and let him/her know how you're feeling. I agree with chelle. You will have a 'one up' as a teacher because you suffer from depression. Your compassion will surely help the kids in need. Stay strong. You can do this! hugs
deleted_user
I agree with chelle37. Your struggle with depression will definitely contribute to your teaching and give you insight that a lot of other people don't have. Don't listen to him. Being a teacher isn't just about knowing everything... it's more than that. Plus, he has no idea whether or not you will be a good teacher... the only people who can decide that are your students. I'm sure you will be a wonderful teacher!!
Manito
Thank you all!! I really needed to hear this. I'm trying to not let people get to me but it's hard. Thanks for being there it's worth so much.
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