I feel your pain. I'm a 47 yo divorced woman. My ex husband took everything from me and at 47 I'm starting all over again. He ruined my relationship with my daughter. It will never again be the same. He threw me away after my surgery because I could not have more children.

I feel like life is over for me and I'm just waiting to die. Maybe, by some chance I might have a miracle, but, all bets are off. It's easier for a man to find a woman but not the other way around. I wish the best for you and pray you'll find someone who true;y deserves you.

Don't think it's over at 45 or 47. My dad married my mom when he was 49, they had 3 children, my sister, and my twin brother and I. They were married 46 yrs. and dad passed away at 94.

Oldbiker did your dad have fairly good health most of his 94 years, good innings as we say in cricketing countries. 100 is the score a batsman aims for but anything over 65 if acceptable. :-).

Wow didnt know I could still have kids. That would make my life so enriched knowing I have family for life again. I had a horrible childhood and terrible family which made me want to be the best dad ever, so the pain of having abortions behind my back when she said she would have my kids really really hurt.

How old was your mom can you remember?

It seems to be more acceptable these days age gaps like 10-15 years.

Im still a handsome devil, I just gave up on it all. Maybe some younger lass will see the old fox in me haha. First smile in a few days.

The problem is I am not very sociable and I dont have any friends to hook me up with someone :-(

Well HipHappy, from what I've heard men are fertile until a surprisingly old age, though it does decline by 1 or 2% per year after your 40s. You still got in in you, champ!

I am very sorry for the pain everyone is going through here. But sometimes one can be a little happier by making the most of what life has to offer. Being grateful for what I have right now can brighten my day instead of thinking of something that may never come or reminiscing about the good life that was lost. Please do not take this the wrong way, but there are times when there is really nothing we can do but just enjoy each day’s simple pleasures even if you are all by yourself. If you have a bright outlook in life and see the positive more than the negative, people will normally want to be around you. But even if not, you still come out with a better life.

I have a close family member who first married at 50 and she has had a wonderful life. It is certainly possible to have a family with a woman who had children or under other circumstances. Please see where life takes you.

I have this thing in my head. Once I hit 60 my body and brain will be useless. Mush. I have brain fog due to thyroid and opiate problems and im scared at 60 I will have dementia and be alone and not knowing who is who and being abused by carers. Thats how sad I think life ahead is for me.

The thing is, I always expected a lot from life I expected to succeed. I have wasted 10 years not working from a job that paid $200k. Im scared I cant get that back.

But the scariest part is trying. I feel it easier to dose the pain in my degenerated disc away and spend the day in bed nodding off. Ive even had thoughts of wouldnt it be nice not to wake up to face the world. Not wanting to kill myself.

I just feel I dont have enough time left to make the money I want to do the experiences I enjoy like free diving in the ocean and spear fishing and boating in general. Im melacholly about growing old :-(. Where did life go. Pink Floyd says it in one song about having no starting gun.

I wanted kids so I could teach them the things I learnt as a kid and to be a better father than the one I didnt have. :-(

I realise what Im feeling.

I cannot make my dreams come true. I wanted money by age 55. enough to semi retire, $1m odd, Im near 47, out of work. And even when I worked I only earned $120-150k pa.

I feel my health issues have left me too old and left it too late. :-(

45 is not old at all, and you can have kids well into your 80s (should that be what you wish to do.)

I understand about having expectations for our lives, and thinking and... expecting.... it to go a certain way. Life hardly works out that way. And so you work with the cards you are dealt.

I assume you are under doctor's care for your back. Are you able to walk, do some mild exercise? Have you considered anti depressants (SSRIs)?

I can kinda identify with the original poster. I am 47, never had a 6 figure income though. I missed out on lots of girlfirends. Now I am 47, unemployed, balding no one will want me. I understand this.

Sometimes it's so painful, it seems it will never end. I met a couple who remarried in their 80's.

I know a woman who met and married her husband at 43yrs old and she had three children after that so your doors have not been closed.
45yrs old is still young for a man (look at all the Celebrities who have had children in the 70's ++.
Google Mark Manson, he has some amazing articles about the important things in life and the pursuit of money is not one of them - a bonus of many things but never the main objective.
I hope you find some peace. Hugs

Put Jesus first as I do and life will be worth living

At one point in my life I was married and living a comfortable life. . I realized the most important t thing in the world to him was money and status. He was shallow and criticized my individuality. Now I have nothing “material” to speak of. The man I’m with is an alcoholic and verbally abusive. I’m just so tired.

GirlIinCalif (geeze that name actually is what I wish I had found when I was younger living all the way here down under, love Cali). No anti depressants have no effect on me, in fact they make me much worse. Ive tried them all, literal. The only one I could stand was an SNRI (effexor), but it didnt help. The reality is depression, for me at least, is a reality. A reality of how I think and where I am in my life. I need to change what I expect from the last 20+ years of my life, aim for the best but be prepared for the worse.

I have no family, literal. So was born alone and likely die alone.

Im actually a good looking guy, always had pretty girlfriends, but that partly where I went wrong I think as their materialism is not who I am. I needed to find somebody who does not care about that stuff. Only issue is I get bored sxlly, even with good looking girlfriends, I have ZERO libido. I think thats partly depression.

I have one friend Im very close to but I do not find her physically attractive, but I love her dearly. I wish I could make myself find a way to feel that way as she is younger and wanted kids but hasnt done.

Some people say you HAVE to be attracted to a person, but I do wonder if psychologically if you can change how you feel. Its different I think for men as its a "looks" thing mostly. I suppose like our ape like ancestors we still have that drive to breed. I read a theory on that. It could explain why men can be jerks. Its hard to be honest in todays society.

But I think as you age some of that fades.

If I got back to work, in 8-10 years I could save enough to have a $600pw income via investment property, my own home and the boat I want. Semi retiring at 55-57yo. I dont think its healthy to fully retire too young, in fact studies show if you retire at 65 vs 67 your chances of making it to 85 decrease. But I dont want to get to any age close to where I obtain dementia etc. Id rather slip out the back door.

I do need to get off my pain killer use, it makes me fat, lazy and I know it causes depression as it amps up your dopamine and when you stop you have none so takes a month or more for it to return. But the back does hurt without it. I doo need to do my core training and walking, I just feel ZERO motivation, and that is where I think the problem is, I feel like there is nothing to live for. But maybe my expectations which has been mentioned, were just not what I was dealt. :-)