I have not spent Thanksgiving with my family in some years, but there is a good chance that I will this year.  In these past years, I've spent it with some friends.  This year, one of our friends' mom's was in the hospital, so they are not doing it at their house, just having people over later in the evening.  Lastnight, I found out through the grapevine that two of our friends, Christiana and Carolina, are going out to dinner for Thanksgiving through a mutual friend.  I didn't hear about it at all and I don't think I would have known if I didn't find out by accident. In past years we have spent it all together.  Maybe I'm overreacting but I was totally stunned that they were going, that I was not invited, and it seemed to me I was not wanted to be there, otherwise I would have known about it.

I have been hanging out with them less this year as things just have felt tense to me.  I'm not really sure what is going on and I can't put a finger on it.  The person who runs the hiking group, Carolina, is extremely controlling and bossy.  Christiana has been complaining about her a lot, saying that she might be a narcissist.  Christiana has made a lot of blanket statments in all of our presences that she's auditing her relationships and cutting some people out.  It's never clear who this is.  I wasn't sure if this was me or not, but maybe it is. I had assumed it was Carolina, the person she was blasting as a narcissist. Christiana complains vehemently to me about Carolina, but hangs out with her all of the time.  I find that quite odd. I personally have distanced myself from Carolina, it's too much for me to listen to her talk about herself and only herself, while she calls the shots and you have to fall right in line. It's super uncomfortable. 

Even after Christiana has said that Carolina is a narcissist and extremely difficult, not only are trhey doing Thanksgiving, they are going to go on a two week vacation next year.  I was invited to the vacation but declined.  It's too much-if you are doing anything with Carolina you have to practice strict social distancing, mask all of the time, and follow her blindly, and listen to her talk while you just sit there. Maybe becuase I'm not just following orders and doing everything this narcissistic person says, I don't fit the bill for hanging out with this group anymore.  

Also, I've noticed that Christiana has been low key more hostile to me over time.  Sometimes at get togethers, I've seen her sort of glaring at me, it's uncomfortable. I think the one major thing that I noticed was that on my birthday this summer, I felt like she launched a verbal attack against me.  When I said that I started dating again, Christiana blasted me, saying that I should not bother to find a relationship anymore, that it was too late for me and that it was over.  I was so stunned I could hardly believe what I was hearing, and was just questioning everything at that point.  At times I've thought Christiana wants people who are struggling and not doing as well as her, and needs to have people she can be above, just a side thought but it's been there. Outsiders have said this group is toxic and that I should seriously consider new friends.  I've felt uncomfortable around them at points.  I'm wondering if I'm overreacting to not being invited to this major event and that I should take it as a sign that it's time to move on.  I was going to invite all of these people to my graduation but I'm not so sure now.  I'm very confused and don't know what to make of this. Am I being dramatic or seeing this realistically?