Since your not physically removing anyone, just on a proverbial level, taking Toxic People out of your life consists of just not talking to or being around or spending time with those people.

As for what you say to them, it's hard for anyone here to tell you that exactly, not knowing who you're saying it to. I would just simply say that being around them is not conducive to to the new and better life your trying to lead these days. You can say something tile your working hard to better yourself and make your life happier and heal your emotional wounds as well.

Why do you want to remove from your life family and friends who you love? What makes you think they are not good for you?

I did that with the woman that gave birth to me and the woman who was supposed to be my sister.

Sometimes for your own sanity/peace of mind you do have to cut family off. As for what to say that's all up to you.

There'll be some people who will shake their head and think you're mean/rude/hateful/spiteful for doing that, but unless they're walking in your shoes they have no clue.

In a perfect world family would be great at all times and get along wonderfully with, however not all of us are blessed with that kind of family.

I have not talked to my biological mother for 9 years. I struggled hoping she would change, but realized...I was the one who had to change, and that meant making my own choices tor my own well being. So, without saying another word after another hurtful encounter, I walked away and never looked back. But for years and years I tried every way I could to get some kind of emotion or care giving from her...until one day, after talking to my counselor, 'a light bulb moment'...sometimes you have to except that for some people, what they do give is all they have to give, and if nothing ever changes, then I have to.

Setting limits with people is important, no matter if they are toxic for you or not. The biggest limit I can think of, one that should apply to everybody in our lives, is that "I need to be as important to you as you want to be to me"

So if a person is happy to ask you to drive them to a doctor appt, they should be willing to do the same for you. If they are not willing to do it for you then you should consider not doing it for them.

This limit works on both you and the other people.

You can start applying this limit to people in a quiet way. It may help you to start asking for favors from others. This way when they ask things of you you can say something like "Well, ... I asked for some help the other day but you seemed too busy to help me. I need to put our relationship in balance." Or words that are more "you" than the way that Pepper would use!

If these people are toxic to you AND to others, just start to pull back. Using words they use on you can be very effective. So if they say "I don't have the cash right now" when you ask them to pay you back use those words on them when they ask you for a quick loan, or to front them lunch money.

Gentle hugs

Hi there,
Sometimes in life you need for your own health to stop talking to people in your life, be it friends, or family. You need to do what's best for you. I had to remove my family it was very hard, but it had to be done. there is no easy way, no way that what I did would work for you. We all have to decide to do this our own way. But if you can talk to a counsellor ,or someone you trust to ask help, who knows what your going through that is best. In the mean time I agree with what some of the others have suggested, until you can get that help, just back away, ask for space, say you need to have your space. I hope it all works out for you. Casey

I came across the book Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud at a time when I most needed it. I highly recommend it as it talks about recognizing toxic traits in others and how to respond. It does mean creating some distance especially as you will have to make sure you do things and get around people that give you strength. Being around only toxic people makes you not able to see straight. I hope and pray it helps you.