You aren't a train wreck. You just have some issues. I have had social anxiety all my life. Really bad. My home life caused me stress when I was a teenager.
I wrote my feelings down in a journal. It helps to get them out even if its only on paper. You will get through thus period. Better times can be in your future.
It was for me. I found a man I loved and got married. Don't give up on life.
Maybe you can get therapy to help with you anxiety and coping with your family.

I can promise you that whatever you are going through right now will be temporary, please try and be kind to yourself, you deserve it. I suffered a lot growing up with anxiety, depression and harmful thoughts. To get through it I used to write down my feelings, and I confided all of my emotions to a very close friend, and eventually a therapist. Please don’t bottle things up, in the long term it never leads to anything positive. Know that through being on this platform you always have somewhere to turn to if you have these suicidal thoughts again, but if they get worse and things get more tough I would suggest getting professional help.♥️

Ask your parents to get you some professional help.

This, and your other post about being anorexic, are both very serious conditions.

You need help.

Ask your parents to get you into see a psychiatrist.

I agree. You need some outside help. No one should have to deal with all this stress, especially a young person. Try to take care of yourself even though you don't feel like it. This isn't your fault.