So, I have had felt strained in some of my relationships, with my group of girlfriends.  Part of the issue is that a couple of people in the group are just too needy and possessive, wanting time and energy all of the time and getting angry when they don't get it.  At about this time last year, I had pretty much handled and managed one of these very domineering possessive people.  In the interim, one woman in the group moved back to our area, apparently to be with us.  I guess she became completely alienated from her family. She moved in with my friend and then quit her job.  I have felt really uncomfortable with her and she has seemed desperate to be my friend.  I've tried to be nice and include everyone in my events.

My graduation is coming up and the college is very large.  I am supposed to walk across the stage of course.  I had invited everyone but I ended up breaking my leg.  I can't currently walk and it's a real mess.  I can still go to the graduation but it's going to be complicated, my friend has to drive with me and help me with my wheelchair.  I've had to coordinate with the college and have had a hard time getting the temporary disabled plate. I was so frustrated on Monday I just sat here and cried.  I had thought of putting off commencement to another semester.  I was still planning on going through with it, one of my friends and I were getting everything coordinated on Monday.  The event is late next week.

Here is the straw that broke the camel's back. This woman who moved here, who I don't know that well, has become extremely insistent to involve herself with me and it feels demanding to me.  After being on a call with the college about logistics for graduation on Monday, I was going to send the email invite to everyone and have them meet me there.  Just as I was about it send it, I got a panicked call from her.  I let it go to voicemail.  She had put another friend on speaker and said, "Call one of us back NOW, we are trying to support you and we need to know about graduation."  There was an urgency in her voice. I couldn't understand why she just couldn't wait for the invitation... I was so angry.

After cooling down for a few days, I was getting ready to again issue the invite, I was just about to type it up, when she called AGAIN.  This time I let it go to voicemail, and she was talking about how she wanted to go out to dinner after the commencement.  I just snapped.  I didn't want to go out to dinner and that wasn't supposed to be in the invite.  I'm in so much pain and it is so hard to coordinate even just the graduation event.  It is seemingly harmless but it came off as so manipulative and controlling to me. After all, I am the host and it's my event.  In the past, my friends are used to just getting an invite, and they either respond yes or no, no big deal. 

I sent her a text message saying "Please stop pressing me about details. I am very tired.  I will do how and what and when I want, it's my event. I don't even know you that well. If I want to pursue a relationship, I will."  I realize that's super blunt and I didn't want it to come to that, but I was literally at my wit's end. I mean I was raised to respect a host and their invite and not try to influence what they are doing.  Just RSVP, that is all you have to do. 

At the same time, our group text was going off as it always does with more random stuff-it goes on 24 hours a day. I never have a break from anyone.  My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to start crying. After five years of being in the group text, I left. I feel like some people have a monopoly on my life and there is no room for anything else. 

I called my friend later and I was crying. I said there is something I have to tell you. I said I've been thinking about it for a long time but it doesn't seem like the group dynamic is working.  I also talked it over with another friend. They both agreed. They also felt that these couple of people had become extremely clingy and needy. I don't want to be without friends (I may be now) but for the past few years I've felt like I'm tiptoeing around everyone. I told my friend I just could not manage everyone's expectations anymore. What blew me away the most was that here I've just been in this horrible accident and I can't walk, and all this lady can think about is that she wants to go out to dinner, and kept reiterating how much she wants to be at this event. It's like what part of I'm seriously injured did you miss here? Did you maybe think about that I have to recover and get well, not that I'm here to entertain you and keep you occupied because your life is a mess?

I don't know what is going to happen going forward. My other friends agreed that things have been getting heated. Our friend who is married said that this group of people take up so much of her time that they don't get to spend time together as a couple.  My other friend said indeed that this woman was badgering her about what was going to happen with my graduation. This lady expects to spend Christmas together and everything. At one time I was open to getting to know her, but now I'm scared off.  I was in so much pain and so exhausted.

I'm sad that I left the group chat. It's like it all happened at once.  One person was calling, the text message was going off, and here I am crying with my leg up in the air. I just could not relax.

It is hard for me to make friends. I've tried to make more friends over the past few years just to have other outlets. It hasn't worked very well.  At one time I used to enjoy these people a lot, but the conversations can get heated and about politics, so I've pulled back. I feel like since I missed our video call on Sunday that this woman was going to force me to engage by calling this week. I mean I saw them on Thanksgiving, it's like I'm not allowed to get a break from them. 

I am scared about being alone. I don't have family or kids and I'm not that close with my mom, dad and brother. This group has been like a family to me, and it seems to have fallen apart and I feel partly responsible. I'm not sure where to turn.