I appreciate everyone's sharing. I think the first step is awareness that we are telling ourselves these things. And I hope that coming here and sharing it with others can help everyone to see that none of us is alone with our struggle. We can get past these beliefs about ourselves. We can change and we can get better. Thank you all for your sharing.

Also my wish for everyone today is that we can all make peace with ourselves and love and accept ourselves regardless of our flaws and imperfections.

I cry too much. I was happy when my husband was alive. I was a good mother, wife, daughter and friend. I took on every ones problems and tried to fix them. I just wanted everyone to be safe and happy. My husband died and I am not strong enough to take on their problems anymore I tried but the problems are to big and I am too tired to cope. I realized I was used a lot and now no one is here when I need them but they still come to me for help.

Not sure if the depresison causes feelings of worthlessness or the other way around. But boy oh boy, when depression comes down I feel both.

I am a good person who has accomplished many things, yet I feel I am a total waste of life. I often think death is the only way to get relief from such negatively charged emotions.

But taking my own life would be the biggest failure of all.

I only wish that I was a fraction of the vibrant, fun loving mother and friend that I used to be. I don't where she went: (

I dunno. I think my depression is telling me the truth. Otherwise I would not be feeling this way....

I had a therapist who told me to wear a rubber band on my wrist and every time I found myself thinking these bad thoughts about myself to snap that band or say stop out loud. Once a person is aware of them it makes it easier.
Lately I have been slipping back into the old ways of thinking. It helps if I have affirmations I say about myself such is I am a good, caring, honest person. Then add to that. I could probably make a faster, longer list of the bad things I feel but it depends on what I chose to dwell on. I was talking to a person not long ago and when I went to get in my car I thought I shouldn't have said that to her - then I realized I was questioning everything and was back into the stinking thinking. Be aware is the first step toward changing. I think it is harder if we allow these tapes to play in our head without trying to change them or not listening to them by using affirmations.

I definitely feel a lack of motivation every day. First thing in the morning, I have coffee and then the sadness kicks in. It's only a matter of time until my plans are shattered. I work hard every day, trying to follow a list of things to do only to wind up getting lost in music. I have no urge to paint. I sell my artwork but I could be doing so much more.
My depression comes from a lack of being acknowledged and brought up right. Somewhere I read something that made sense to me. Someone said, "If the brain doesn't have a plan of action, or you don't have your mind set on something, it will automatically go to the negative." I wonder if this is for everyone. I know it is true for me.
I can't begin to list all the things I tell myself. Nowadays, people call it a, "negative belief system." I totally get it. But it's doing the work that is not easy, after being so down for so long.
For so many attempts at making my artwork in the beginning, I failed a lot because of that voice. I threw a lot of stuff in the garbage. People said it was great, but my view was dark.
People say I am beautiful but when I look in the mirror, the negative voice says no and finds reason to believe it.
Here's a real kicker. When I was little, I thought I was heavy because my brother called me "fat" all the time. He was abusive. In my early 20's, Mom and I were looking through pictures of the past, and I was skinny as a rail.
A lot of old relationships ended because I was afraid they were going to hurt me. These were the kindest people I ever dated. If depression is bad enough, it can cause delusions.
I never worked through my pain until now. I had to hit bottom. I wouldn't wish this curse on anyone and I am not afraid to admit that I am vulnerable, sad and in need of help anymore.
That alone is my greatest accomplishment in recovery so far. Hang in there, lots of love and warmth. May you work through and out of your pain. Let us find strength in each other to face the inner demon and let the light of joy and hope in, one day at a time

I see there is two side to this subject and yet only one is being addressed.

Side one is the lies depression tells us. No question about it, depression does tell us lies. If we choose to believe those leis, we fall farther into depression and worst. Perhaps the true agenda of depression. Depression is a trap and it uses lies to catch us.

Side to is the opposing of depression, as in hope. I think hope is also to a degree, just as lying and deceiving as depression is. I said to a degree and not fully as depression is. Hope over states and distorts the true, just on good thoughts.

I have PTSD so I know depression on a personal life plus I deal with a few people who suffer depression. The lies are constant, but not a fatal trap if balanced out with the truths of life and to that, some things hope will not say correctly.