I have an ongoing negative monologue because of my depression too and its hard to make it stop. But the biggest lie my depression tells me is that it won't get better... Those days, and sometimes weeks, when I can't seem to find any light, my depression tells me there will never be an end to my suffering other than death. When you're feeling that low, it's hard to challenge that message, but time has always proven that things do change. Having someone positive in your life to remind you is a blessing... For me, it's my kids. :)

I am worthless, always have been, my son and partner would be better of without me, I am evil, I am ugly, I am fat, there is something wrong with me, I will not be able to take any good opportunities in life and everyone will think I'm an idiot, I will be hospitalised, I won't get better, I'll go crazy, I'll kill myself.

Sometimes these are very convincing.

I have OCD and v.mild aspergers as well so that confuses things.

It is great to see I am not the only one battling these.

Lately I have started trying to be mindful and recognise oh, that is an OCD thought, oh, that is a depression thought that is NOT ME. I am going to do this every single time and start creating a counter dialogue and making that my response, my mantra, retraining my brain synapses the way I choose, not the way depression chooses.

It is a daily fight.

I am smart, I am resilient, I am loyal, caring, and actually quite an amazing person whose entire self has been almost totally eroded by this.

Recognising it is helping me to fight back.

I often feel this 'depression voice' would literally not be happy until I was dead.

I know when I don't have depression, life is not like this, I have had depression most of my life but I still so much want to live, get well and stay well.

I'm a whore

I suspect there might be more but this is the only one I am sure of at the moment.

HUGS

"You're getting old, you're fat, you're balding, you're ugly, no one's ever gonna love you, you're so fulla shit, you're stupid."

To which I reply: FUCK YOU, depression!!!!!

I then say: "I'm smart, I'm athletic, I'm talented, I'm a good problem-solver, I'm empathic toward others, I'm a physical animal who can drown out you depression devil by pushing myself!"

I don't think these are lies about myself but here goes:
fat
failure
stupid
boring
annoying
needy
ugly
talentless
lazy
greedy
self obsessed

I could go on bit it's a bit of a downer lol

How depresson lies to me. I'm starting to feel that there are no knights to wisk away a maiden and be her man to care for her. Maybe that is a lie I tell myself afterall I have been single 16 years and it hasn't happened yet.

It is actually a great topic. The human condition must constantly fight our negative mind chatter. I have been looking back at 20 busy years in my life. Most of time I feel like a failure if I'm down and negative. Thankyou for calling it a lie! It truly is!
Alot of people liked me and I accomplished alot, raising a daughter for 16 years on social assistance WHILE trying to create a career. Started out in College, for 2 yrs. Worked one year, contract ended. Looking for work for one yr. then discovered govt was giving grants and loans. So I launched a University degree program and studied thru each summer too.Wanted just a BA, turned out to be 7 yrs. with a secondary Bachelors degree.
Lots of volunteering, to look good on the resume. I only found some small pitiful contracts and gave up only 6 yrs. ago for personal reasons ( also got married, had financial help)
PS Just a side note: my daughter when 15 had a crisis and spent 4 yrs living in different places in our city, ie.with her Dad, group homes,etc
One day she sent a short note to all family and said she's taking a break from us. She is now 35 and we have no idea where she is. Is undetectable and probably wants it that way.
Perhaps I will find a support group one day to deal with the feelings of grief and failure. It is a great challenge to be proud of yourself,like your self .I feel it is almost a miracle when I can look at the past and feel accomplished.
I don't know i f I was a super woman or whatever,but I also accomplished all that with many failed romantic relationships in
my life and a developing chronic illness which was disabling me physically and took a long time to learn about. So,very chaotic!
Sorry to purge such a story on the group members, but I guess I feel so passionately about the struggle to save ourselves that it hit a nerve for me. Try to be amazed at all that you are and have done. We are all unique and lovable.

This may sound weird, but it actually sometimes makes me feel better to say those 'lies'. Like, if I say "I'm terrible at what I do, it couldn't be helped because I didn't have a mentor and just made it up as I went." then it makes me feel strangely better that I can sort of 'accept' that my life results didn't turn out as well as other peoples because I am sort of damaged like mebmarie said. Does that make any kind of sense?

My depression does lie to me... It tells me that I am not strong enough to handle whatever life throws at me, It tells me that I am not good enough & that I need to be perfect. I do challenge these thoughts & I know I am enough, I am strong enough & I don't need nor do I actually want to be perfect. How boring would that be?!

It says "Hope is a LIE".

My depression tells me that I am incapable of loving or being loved and that I am a wasted existence and there is a person somewhere who can make better use of my place in the universe.

I re-read the post from Heidiclark who started this discussion. Maybe I am turning the corner but what I interpret is I lie about my depression by showing people that outward appearance is happy. I am embarassed that I take medication to stabiize my depression. So that is a lie I hid, I don't tell anyone. Now Heidiclark encourages us to move past that. My first step is taking care of myself. I want to talk about my feelings more which is why I chose Daily Strength. This venue I hope will help me be honest with myself by first using this method to reveal I have an ailment then talk about positive things to overcome and manage my desease.
JC

My messiah is the antichrist.

Bistro-
What your wrote, that is what depression is telling me today...: (
I have lost all faith and hope