I think you did the right thing. I have been learning how to build wealth. Experts say we should give. How much you give is how much you get The world will reward you for your kindness. But you need to help people with your whole heart and expect nothing back.

Hey friend, I understand what you mean about the giving. I always assumed that people would give the same as I give them, and I have been proven wrong every single time. It has taken me a lot of time to realize, learn, and finally understand but you need to work on giving only to those who give back. This doesn’t mean close the door on everybody but only give until you feel that it is detrimental to you. I found this hard realization out after I got my heartbroken by a girl. I gave her my everything and still for whatever reason I “wasn’t good enough” (my own thoughts). I am slowly learning that wasn’t the case at all. Through daily affirmations, supportive advice, and good friends I have discovered these realizations. Not everyone deserves your time and energy, and that’s okay! You aren’t ever wrong for doing something that helps you (as long as its moral and ethical, obviously). Once I implemented this concept, giving has been reciprocated much more. I am only giving to those who give back and stopping immediately (or taking a break from everyone) when I feel drained or tired. I have always had problems with self-love and self-care, and you are certainly not selfish for ever doing something that is good for you or benefits your mental or physical health. You’re kind, worthy, and loved, friend!

Those who you may give to maybe can't give because they don't know how to or feel they have nothing to give in return. They could be struggling with things that prevent them from being able to return the favor. Giving can be difficult for some and easy for others. What's important is you be the bigger person and always treat others well.

Don't give up!
Remember: The more you give, the more you gain. You may not see what you gain most of the time but it is there. You are being rewarded.
Also, don't forget your self-worth. If this world loses you, it will never be the same again. Your sister, though it may seem otherwise, loves you and would be heartbroken if she ever lost you.
A quote from my old community: "You are loved. Yep. You."

Remember, you reap what you sew. This means that you gain, what you give. Don't give up on giving. You may not always see what you've gained, but that doesn't mean that you should give up on giving either. Don't give up on yourself. You're worth fighting for. You said that your having suicidal thoughts. I think that you should look into going to see a doctor, or therapist, or counselor. They'll be able to help you fight those suicidal thoughts.

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. Are you on any medication? In therapy? If you feel suicidal, call the Suicide Hotline or go to the nearest emergency room. Suicide is never the answer. I have lost several people to Suicide. Two were teenagers. One I knew since birth. They are all so missed. I'm sorry that you have not been around giving people. I think you would feel better if you stopped giving so much to these people. Wishing you well. B.