and why do I feel like this if hes a good dad to our son and hes a good guy?

I would say there was a marriage for the wrong reasons. It's too bad when young people marry ... before they have a good understanding of what love is. Took me over 60 years to understand it.

Your post doesn't (much) mention the most important thing ... your child. He/she is the very VERY first thing to consider.

Personally ... if I were in an unloving marriage, I would terminate it as quickly as possible ... but I don't have children. In my opinion .... ALL OTHER THINGS considered, best for you to divorce ... living the rest of your life with someone you do not appropriately love is not something I would do.

The child deserves all the love from both you and the father. This CAN happen with a divorce.

Maybe if you learned what I mean by 'understanding what love is' you could 'fall in love with the father and this all work out ... but the odds are against that.

I am stating all this ONLY by my opinion.

Tell me about it. I meat this girl. She said she very interested in me. She cares a lot. She told me to call her. When I call she ignored me! I am more depress now.

Unhappiness in a relationship is such a sad thing. I was just listening to someone yesterday discussing LOVE---and how the feeling is fleeting...but the attributes of it are not fleeting. Love is patient, kind, it is not arrogant or rude and does not insist on it's own way...etc. I think in our culture...we expect Love to be this earth shattering, firework feeling, all the time, and when it is not...we lose heart. I think when we realize this and make an effort...then many of the other aspects of a relationship can flourish as a result--communication, intimacy, etc. Without sounding like the whole 'it's not you--it's me" thing....but in reality it kinda is....we have to get our heads & hearts right with how we are created to love...and determine to put forth the effort and then it really does happen; or can happen. Hang in there. Keep in touch.

I would be honest with your partner, if you don't love them, how unfair it is for them to be in a relationship that is one sided. You are young, and for some of us, it takes many years of living and being in different relationships to finally grow up. We do find what we like and don't like after a lot of trial and error, but if you don't have that spark and knowing that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then be honest with yourself and the person your having a relationship with. If your husband or partner is okay with things the way they are, then so too do you have to be, or you need to leave. The longer you stay with them, the more hate and regret builds up till it becomes unbearable for both of you. Your child is young enough that this will not effect them, and if your holding on because of the support, well then discuss that with your partner and see what support they would give you if you two split up. Staying together for the childs sake is not good if there is turmoil over it in the home.

First, can I ask are you sad (situationally depressed) or Depressed (clinically).

If you're clinically depressed you're not going to be able to "snap" yourself out of it. Nor is the relationship going to solve your depression or your child.

You will need therapy, medication or a combination of the two.

If you're situationally depressed, then you're dealing with the fact that you're parenting a 1 year old. Toddlers are notoriously challenging. This is the time of them learning how to say "no", fighting everything you do, and very little recognition for how much work it is.

No sex drive could be from either of the above. But how you deal with it is different.

IF it's the first...it's time to go back to the doctor. Look to see if a medication side effect is the cause, or if you need a med adjustment. If you aren't being seen by a doctor yet...now is Definitely the time!

If it's the second, try to carve out both time for yourself and couple time every day. Maybe all you can do is spread a tablecloth on the floor and have a picnic...but look for different things to do Together where you can laugh and find connection.

In many ways, happiness is a "skill"...it takes work.

Did you ever find someone to talk to about his brother? If not, and you still have unresolved feelings of grief, than look into that.