it is....im not a male but i know this is common....if he talks to his doctor he could go on medication which will help his depression and hopefully get his sex drive back......most of the new meds have a very low chance of sexual disfunction.....good luck to the both of you, i know its not easy....

I think it does decrease sex drive....

I have heard that happens but it has not been true in my own case. Sex is one of the things that makes me feel better, one of the small ways that I can get pleasure so I actually want it more. However, my situation is probably very different because I am not married and when I am depressed I often tend to isolate myself. The sex I look for is not always the healthiest sex in the context of a loving relationship

certainly zero drive to have sex with anyone except someone I really, really care about and love - and as I've no partner - that's nobody.

Jem, I haven't had that problem. But, my depression makes me feel distant from my girl even when we're in bed. It's a default protective instinct. I have to try to notice it and deliberately lower that automatic protective instinct. For me, if there is not emotional closeness, then I don't want anything to do with my girl. Therefore, our first priority is no dysfunction. I've told her that I don't care what she's feeling, just say it so that it is out and we can solve it and be emotionally close. Sorry to ramble. Hope this helps a little.

Jem, it happens - and it happens to me. I guess it happens to some males and not to others.

When I was deepest in it, the thought of sex - with anyone at all - never crossed my mind. Curiously enough, when I started taking medication that was supposed to suppress the libido, mine showed signs of stirring again. Funny that. I hope that, as my treatment goes on, it'll come back to some semblance of its old self.

'whats the point?' i wouldnt say it lowers the sex drive, but you start to analyze things to much. i think if you showed him he was doing it right and you enjoyed it, then he would probably engage in it more, other wise hes probably questioning why he should even bother. any mistakes will be pondered upon for hours, and after all is done, it does seem to be kind of meaningless.

It is a very common side-effect...with or without medication. During one of my most deepest and darkest periods I had no sex drive whatsohaveyou! I didn't even pleasure myself...don't mean to be too graphic, just trying to make you understand. This period lasted over five years. And as they say...you don't use it, you lose it. Ever since, I need the help of a little pill. It sucks, but it is better than nothing.

Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate it. I am hoping and praying to get him to go get help.

TO:IDKWHATIWANT - How dare you attack me this way??? I have been by my husband's side through thick and thin for the last 8 yrs! I don't know of many other women that would have stayed with a depressed man for this long.
Please do no make assumptions on something you know NOTHING about. Look up some of my other posts here and you can see the desperation in my words to try to help my husband.

it does happen but i find meds does get it back, maybe try citalopram

Wander before he fell deeper into depression we used to have sex at least 3 times a week.
Trust me, If I wasn't enjoying him as much as I was, I would not be posting here trying to find help with his problem.

Yes it does, as soon as I feel miserable i lose faith in myself as self esteem dwindles, its a lack of confidence thing, coupled with meds it can be very frustrating for both p[arties

Jem,
what does he say when you ask him about his lack of sexual desire? Maybe us men here could be of more assistance if we knew more. I think one thing you've gotten from all these responses is that there are different reasons that men avoid sex

I personally never had this problem. Truth be told, I have the opposite problem sometimes. However I have friends who have lost their desire (both male and female).

The doctor may be able to help with any problems like that :)

Reponse to Bluntandsubtle:

The main problem is that he refuses to believe that he is depressed. He has had depressive episodes since he was in his early teens. He was diagnosed with depression and put on meds back then.
Also, if I may add his grandfather was depressed, mother, father and brother are depressed. His brother is the only one that has gone for help.

His depression through the last 8 yrs. that wev'e been together has been in shorts spurts here and there. This time around he has been depressed for over a year.

When I ask him about sex he tells me that he has a lot on his mind or he's tired. This is coming from a man that could've had sex 3 times a day. Some days we even used to! :)

I have put soooo much information about depression in front of him but he just gets mad and denies everything. I have gone about this in a very gentle manner because I know how "TABOO" the word depression is to him.

I'm at a complete loss!