Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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IDidThisToMyself 01/02/2009

Ok well I found out I'm about 5-6 weeks pregnant.
I was talking to my bf (the father) yesterday and I know that he wanted to go to college this year. Well, he got accepted into 2 colleges in Florida because that's where he really wanted to go. He still really wants to go.
So, he wouldn't physically be there for his child. I want him to get the education he deserves and wants, but I'm not going to lie...it hurt. I fought back my own feelings and I just quickly agreed with him.
I want to be like "ARE YOU CRAZY!!! You can't go to Florida!!!!!!!""
But at the same time, its him getting an education.
So I'm torn right now. I don't know if it's the right thing for him to do or not, and how I should feel about that.

So I guess I wonder how someone else would feel being in my shoes and what their opinion would be..because I just don't know.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

Can you go to Florida with him?

IDidThisToMyself 01/02/2009

no i cant =[

ThePepperMan 01/02/2009

Present or not, he has obligations to the unborn child you are carrying. Hugs to you as you two sort this out.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

Well, I don't have any advice for you but I do know how you're feeling. My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago, because "he wasn't ready to be a father" (I'm 16 weeks now). He picked up and moved to Raleigh, to accept a teaching position he had landed before graduating from college.

I hate to sound like this but can he put off getting his education and work on supporting you, himself and your baby? I know an education is important but this seems to take priority (in my opinion)...

deleted_user 01/02/2009

hi there. there is no right or wrong answer to the question you posed above. you have to decide what's right for you. I take it you want to keep the baby?

deleted_user 01/02/2009

I am old fashioned, but it took two to have a baby and he should be responsible too. You have to think of your future too, not just his.

I wish you the best!

IDidThisToMyself 01/02/2009

MissCaitlin, I'm SO sorry to hear that. I don't understand when people have responsibilities as important like this they run away. Especially when he helped make it happen.
I don't know if he would put it off, I'm scared if I even asked him to he would be upset at me for it. That's why I just wanted to see other people's point of views on the situation.

IDidThisToMyself 01/02/2009

Yeah I am keeping the baby.

I'm not really looking for an answer..more like a 'if you were in my position how would you feel about that and what would you do' i dont know, i guess it's a really iffy subject.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

Maybe I'm the pushy type but I wouldn't care if he got mad at me or not about asking him to put off his education. This is so much more important. For me, I'm squeezing in another semester before my little munchkin's due in June but I'm also going to be working full-time.

In my opinion, he's got to be there not only for you but for your baby. It just kills me when people don't follow through like that.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

If I were in your position I would keep the baby and make sure the father of the baby supported me in any way he could. Make sure he doesn't think he's getting away with not supporting his child just because he's going to college. He still is responsible for his child.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

why can't he go to college in his hometown? I would be angry and hurt. I don't understand it. I would think if he loved you and the baby he wouldn't go to florida. what does florida have that other colleges in his area don't offer?

IDidThisToMyself 01/02/2009

i guess he really wants to go to this certain college in florida. i knew about it before i got pregnant. but then surprise, im going to be having a baby.
so he told me that he thinks going there and getting a good education would be the right thing to do so he can support the baby.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

I can see why you are so hurt honey. One thing I can tell you from a parents point of view...is that I really wish that my hubby and I were able to get the education we needed to get a career and beable to take better care of our children. You dont want to struggle in this life hon. Especially with a child. Is there any way that you can go to Florida with him. He is on his way to becoming a daddy...but first he needs his shot at becoming a great provider for your family the two of you are creating.

IDidThisToMyself 01/02/2009

I would want to go to Florida with him if I could, but I can't.
My family is here and I really need their support.
My son is buried here and I couldn't imagine leaving and not being able to go visit.
So it would definitely be too hard and stressful to do that.

deleted_user 01/02/2009

Explain that to him. List all the reasons that you just listed for us, for him. Maybe he'll come to his senses and take you and your baby into consideration.

I'm just burning in anger for you right now :)

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