I know OF "The Secret" but I don't know everything about its ieals. What I do know is that the universe doesn't owe you anything. Therefore, it won't make it up to you.

What you can do is choose to be happy no matter the circumstances. Happiness and an "easier life" won't just come to you one day. You have to put up the effort to move on the best you can. Waiting for a miracle may leave you in worse shape.

ASideKick is right. I really wasn't happy with the way my life was. I found a lot of faults & I looked for things to complain about. Then a light bulb went off in my head after watching how my mom operates.

Happiness won't come to you magically one day. You literally have to go after it. What do you think are some of the things you can do in order to bring a sense of fulfillment in your life? Have you made any steps toward helping yourself yet or are you waiting on others to do things for you?

And like ASideKick said , life won't "make it up to u". My twins died (2 identical girls); I literally prayed for a girl, got 2 but they both didn't make it. Even though I have a son now, I still want my daughters back. But, we both know that what is done is done in that regards.

As for having a hard time finding a job, please rest assured that you are not alone. Forget about feeling hopeless as it doesn't help. I am in the same position you, sending out resume after resume with no positive results. The ONLY thing I can do is to keep trying and to do my best to kick that bad habit of feeling hopeless by telling myself, "I'm not alone because thousands of people are unable to find a job at this point".

Yes, I am also tired of people telling me things will get better. I know things WILL get better, they just won't get better when I may want it to. Keep looking for that job & go after your happiness!! It's out there waiting for you to get it!

I am one of the most negative people around, No wonder I am so unhappy.
I agree that happiness is something you have to go after. It won't just happen to you.
I'm sorry for your loss of your fiance, that must have been very rough.
And I hope a job comes along for you, it could change your life. I know
it seem like bad stuff always happens but try to look for the good. It's
all you can do. I wish you the best of luck. Big Hugs

Wasn't the secret written by that guy that was in that steam ritual disaster? I'm sure he may have had a few good ideas here and there but as far as I know he is a con man and that was part of the whole 'universe' concept . Yes positive thinking is quite successful though, this I can attest to. Positive going in lays the foundation for your subconscious mind set.

I agree, positive thinking can go a long way to being more happy, and I suggest that you do this. But sometimes, we need a little help to do positive thinking. Thats why I like hobbies, doing things that you love, can help to be more positive. Or helping out a needy friend, can bring great satisfaction. Sometimes excersise can make you feel happier because you feel better after a walk. And of course aroma therapy helps greatly to improving your mood as well. In your case, writing a book, that helps for you to get your ideas down, or to bring imagination to life.

Thank You for your responses. I am sorry about the loss of your daughters BundlesofJoy. I hope you get a job. Nothing can make up for that loss. When my fiance died so many people said things would get better as if somehow God would make that up to me buut nothing will. Yes one of The secret guys was involved in those steam bath deaths but I thought I needed something and that book was around when I couldn't sleep. Of course I look at it as a sign but I tend to do that. Now that I am single people think that I have time to do stuff for them so they are always asking for favors. I am exercising but I find I don't get as much joy from hobbies like I used to. It is hard to stay positive when it is one thing after another. I have always wanted to write a book though. It is hard to sty positive in the midst of all this. The best I can do is basically what I get from all of you is to keep trying. But it would be nice for just a bit of luck to make it a bit easier.

QP

I like to physically exercise. When I'm exercising, positive thinking becomes PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVELY positive thinking, bullying away negative thoughts with brute force and aggressively focusing on physical performance and a goal of some kind, like a destination on a bicycle. When I've achieved that goal, through a baptism of my own sweat, it's a feeling of accomplishment like no other.

Happiness requires WORK. And there's no substitute for hard physical labor, willing happiness into existence with brute force.

As far as finding a dream job, sometimes you have to write down ACTIVITIES that bring you pleasure, and then write down a dollar # to attach to it. Sometimes you have to CREATE a job, a business, a niche activity of some kind, that generates money for you.

I've always known that I like to write, but kind of pushed writing to the background as I pursued the visual arts, which bring me more pleasure and turbocharge my heart more.

The economic crash hit those "interests", the visual arts, hard, so, necessity being the mother of invention, in addition to scraping up what little work there is in the visual arts, taking on a second job as a security officer, I began to explore writing as an alternative source of income.

I now write how-to articles about the visual arts, my passion, for skyword.com. So far, I've been invited to write for one of their clients, IADT, the Institute of Art, Design and Technology. They pay $120 per 300-700 word article. I've written 7 articles so far in the last month-and-a-half, for a total so far of $900, and I keep writing! skyword.com pays up to $1,000 per article. My goal is to attract OTHER companies that are willing to pay more. When my articles begin to get published, I will then link them as published samples in my skyword profile to attract top-paying Fortune 500 companies, maybe score some passive income residuals too, to get paid many, many times off the same article.

You can do the same! Do you like to write?

"Some people said after my fiance died that good things will happen, that things will get better but it is just one thing after another."

Just one of those comments by people who still have their significant other to fall back on. They don't get it.

Yes, positive steps come from effort. God gave you free will, not an easy ride. So it's good to pray, but better to take small steps to finding a place or activity that brings you happier moments to work with.
For me I go to galleries to inspire my art, my classes also help. For you it could be a yoga class, mani-pedi, a time out at a game where shouting is excepted...Football!

Expel the negative energy, gather the positive energy of comadary in cheering the home team. What ever helps, is a step forward.

Hugs Jewells.

'm a very positive person, honestly. I know it's odd for a depressed person to say they're positive, but I always find something positive in everything. Adversity makes us stronger, pain is inevitable,suffering is optional. I hurt A LOT of the time, emotionally and physically...but I TRY to find something good to say about my day,everyday.

I think people confuse Happy with Positive, they aren't the same thing. Happiness is an overall emotion, I'm not a happy person. But I stay positive. Being positive is a bridge to happiness, some never cross. Being positive just helps people make since of things when nothing makes since.
I lost everything in the matter of a few months, my husband,car,job,home,and even a child (my dog). But I would say, if I can make it through today, tomorrow will be better. Sometimes that's all that will get you through life when you believe everything is wrong, the HOPE that tomorrow is better.

Thank You for your replies.. I believed those people who said that things would get better but now I realize that is what people say and I probably told someone that at some time.

I have been working out and it helps and try to keep active and do things I used to enjoy but it is hard. Thanks for the link Koolman. I will look into that. I used to like football but I watched it with my fiance and am not as much into it plus the Eagles stink.

I am sorry for your losses Hells Belle. I wish I could be positive in the face of adversity.

Let me tell you about my day yesterday. I went to my first Zumba class to try it and it was hard but I felt good that I did it and could keep up fairly well. I went out with friends even though I could not afford to and I drove. It was pouring rain too. As we were leaving my car would not start and I thought that this is my life and felt sick to my stomach but the employees made calls and security came and gave us a jump and we didn't stop the car and when I got home and shut it off, it started but I had a hard time. It worked out well since we were not stranded. I am thankful for the help and feeling good being out but I am sad and nervous today anyway over spending money and thinking of course that happened to me. Instead of seeing all the positive, I can't help but think of the negative. Plus my neighbor emailed me that my rainspout is falling down. I would just like a little smoother life even boring for a long long time.

QP

In life, negative shit happens, and you have to deal with it, repair it, correct it. But if you devote most of your time to zen, focusing on that one positive thing, that brings you pleasure, and DOING it, be it sex, exercise, the arts, playing or listening to music, gardening, watching movies, reading, whatever, the negative shit is just a nuissance that interferes and that you try to solve as quickly as possible so you can get back to your state of positive bliss.

I agree, financial concerns are tedious and annoying. I want so bad to just win the damn lottery, hook myself up with some Lifelock to prevent others from stealing my money and just focus on my interests, things I enjoy, creative pursuits, volunteering for causes, the passions of my life. Without financial worries, my life would be pretty damn good.

Oh Yeah and my camera broke. I am worried I will lose all my pictures and my neighbor says it is my own fault because I was too depressed to take them off. I just can't deal with all the crap constantly happeneing and I know it happens to everyone else but how about a break every now and then or something good even a tenth of the time.

Financial problems are a pain and that is what is keeping me from enjoying anything else with all these worries. I wonder how many people without financial problems are depressed. I am sure there are some but at least without that worry the rest could be dealt with.

That would be great if we won the lottery. I would do the same things you mentioned. Life would be much better without financial worries.

QP

Honey I know things are hard but honestly, worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair...it gives you something to do, to pass the time...but it gets you nowhere.

You could die tomorrow and you spent the last day of your life worrying about things that don't matter or may never happen.
Like I said, I attempted suicide last year. I will never try it again, but I'm thankful for the lessons I learned. I've been to the dark side and made it back. I'm a better person now, I don't worry as much and I always count my blessings.
Life is what you make it.
I'm praying for you..please just try to find a bright spot in your life and focus on it.

i am sorry you were in such a dark place HellsBelle that you tried to commit suicide. Honestly I try not to worry but things hit me out of nowhere and Boom it is right after another. i kinda listed what is going on and then more came today. Phone and computer are acting up now also. I took my car and it is the battery and I should be grateful we made it home safely but now that will be $139 I do not have and will chaege and add to my growing debt.

I even worry about what if I died tomorrow. who would take care of my cats and I don't want to leave this mountain of debt on my family. If only things would let up so I can think and breath and maybe find that one bright spot.

One good thing, my doctor is calling a script in for antidepressants, my nut pills, so maybe that will help. but I don't know how a prescription will help when it is life that is so bad. Last week I was looking into positive thinking but now i am just solving one problem after another.

God Bless you for your prayers and I promise that once some of these clouds lift I will look for the bright side.

QP