Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Where do I start? Age 8 my mom married a man I call Satan. Over a four year period I was molested by Satan, two of his sons, his nephew and his niece. At age 12 my mother finds out Satan is molesting me, she cries and two days later asks me if he can come home. So my rapiest, all of them, are back in the picture. Age 18 I join the military. At the age of 20 my mother divorces my rapiest.
I have an amazing daughter, who is grown and married. I've had three failed marriages and trust no one. And have no friends.
At my current age of 53 I retired, and after being gone for 35 years, moved back home next door to my mother. I love her, love my sister, and the man my mother has been married to since I was 23. This move opened up a lot of wounds for me. I have managed to raise a child and have a career, but I barely held it together. The last few days I have been extremely sad, angry and withdrawn. All the pain has returned and I am back to praying for God to kill me.
Why was I not important to my family?, why did no one protect me? Why did God allow that to happen? Why has no one ever loved me? Why am I still so hurt and so angry? I feel like a weak person because I can't stop hurting.
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Don't stop praying- He hears and understands everything you are wrestling with, including your anger. (Romans 8:24 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. )
He isn't angry for you praying for the things you've been praying for in your pain, He weeps for you and wants you to be healed. Maybe now is the time for you to work on healing. You fought tooth and nail all of those years to keep it together for your daughter and keep her safe. You didn't know how to do that while being in a relationship; who could blame you for that? You've succeeded in protecting her. Now it is maybe time for you to walk into the scary parts of your past that you haven't been able to walk through before. I think it's very symbolic that in this time of your life you've moved next door to your mother. God is with you. Though you may walk through the darkest valley, you need not fear any evil. God will walk right beside you. You will probably want to work with a trained trauma therapist as you do this.
I am 32 and dealing with a very similar walk. It is so hard and I want you to know I've prayed for the same things over the past three years. There are hills and valleys. May I give you my email address in case you need someone to talk to who is walking your path with God as well?