Anna1212 - Can you call your doctor and see whether you can be hospitalized? It sounds like you really needs a break. I am sorry you feel alone. Taking a break from work should help some or a lot. Maybe you can ask your doctor to write a letter to your boss to allow you to take a sick leave? I hope you can rest and feel better.

Thank you. That's a good idea. My doctor won't help me personally but I'm sure he'd be thrilled to send me t a hospital to be under someone else's care. Yes, work is kicking my butt. Need to be away.
BYW, your cat is gorgeous. He looks like quite a handful. W

Anna1212 - Thank you. It is a she! We have five cats! This one is the youngest (about one year old or a little bit older). Her body is very soft like a kitten, and she has a personality of a six weeks old kitten. I think she is a dwarf but a little stronger than a regular dwarf and very trusting and friendly.

About hospital, if you feel that the depressions is unbearable and you are in a lot of emotional pains and feel suicidal, an ER doctor can sign to get you in a hospital or just prescribe you a strong anti-depressant. You have to be suicidal or homicidal to qualify for hospitalization., I hope you feel better after getting some good rest and won't have to go but if you get to the point of not able to sleep and very suicidal, it is better to talk to the doctor and see whether he will send you to the hospital.

I’ve been where you are. Unable to work, unable to get out of bed, feel deserted by doctors and the crises helplines. I went the ER and was hospitalized. It was the right thing to do. I needed to protect me from me. I was depressed while in the hospital and needed to be sedated because I stopped sleeping. It took a while but I emerged better. Not perfect but somewhat more civilized and able to take care of myself.

Thank you for sharing your experience Thor. It's really scary to get to that point. I've been hospitalized too a long time ago and it didn't go that well for me. I'm glad it helped you. I think my previous bad experience makes me really wary about getting into that place again. After that I felt like at all cost I needed to stay out of the hospitalization situation. How do we wind up so lonely and desperate in a world full of so many people. It's really sad. Thank you for writing.

Lavender, Your cat is so pretty. She looks really nice and cuddly. I've never had a dwarf cat but lots of regular ones. The orange ones tend to be nicer too.

I think a lot about suicide but i can't picture myself really doing it because i know i'd botch it. I don't know if i would even qualify to go to hospital. I wish my doctor would just even slightly involved. It would help a lot. Thanks for staying in touch with me.

You're welcome. I have one orange cat who was a feral when we got him at two months old. He is now I think ten years old. I had another nice orange cat but took him to the no kill shelter and couldn't get him back. Someone adopted him. It was good for him but I grieved for a long time feeling guilty for deserting him. I was a long story.

I hope you get good rest tonight and maybe see whether you can take some time off work. Retiring is an option. You can weigh the pros and cons and make decision. Please try to relax tonight. I will keep you in my prayers.

Anna, I was in your state of despair once, when I hit rock bottom. It sounds like you have hit it also.
I had exhausted all my resources. Then I decided to call my local state mental hospital. I called them, crying hysterically. They told me to come in and they would take care of me. I wasn't admitted, but they assigned me a doctor and a therapist. The mental hospitals are run by the State you live in, and the services are free. They saved my life, I've been taken care of since 2011 by them, didn't have to be admitted, and I got a lot better, and it hasn't cost me a dime. Check out your state's mental health hospital closest to you

I can't believe the suicide prevention hotline let you down too!! You have friends here so reach out and I know they will be here to support you. And the doctors have let you down too? Unacceptable!!!

Don’t give up on doctors. Look around until you find one that fits you. Do you go to any kind of therapy? Are you on any medication?

Take a walk, take a bath, watch funny movies. Happiness comes in waves. It will find you again. We are all here for you. You’re not alone.

Hi Anna,
I have a sister who was diagnosed with anxiety. She refused treatments and it was hard for me to see her suffering. Me and my other sisters are her support group. I talk to her about anything just to let her know that she’s not alone. It was a big help and I see now that her mood has improved. She is also involved in a life group that she meets online once a week.

It’s good that you reached out. I hope you can get the help you need. Online groups like this can help you to feel less lonely and alone. Keep sharing and I hope you will find comfort here. We are here for you. God bless.

Anna, this is the first post I’ve read on here and I can relate to how you are feeling. Life is tough right now with the world in a shut down and so much uncertainty. I just wanted to add to the voices here, that you are not alone. Depression is a monster that makes us believe that we are the only unhappy ones in a blissful world, but that simply isn’t true. We are here for you, thank you for sharing, and I hope these messages bring you some peace that you have an army of people listening (by reading) your story! Hang in there, get help if you need, keep reaching out. <3