This is a repost:

The most important thing to understand about bipolar depression and depression in general is that it is literally a waking nightmare. When I say literally I mean literally. Because of the physical aspects of the depression, your mind cannot think straight. Like in a dream, it all seems real until you wake up. The thoughts you're having are not real, there is a completely different reality on the other side of those thoughts. In that reality you may have the same life situation, the same struggles, the same shortcomings, the same strengths, but right now all you see is darkness and despair. You have to cultivate an intellectual understanding of what you are going through. Your emotions and the thoughts about suicide are being generated by a physical ailment. They are like symptoms of a cold, when you have a cold, you have a runny nose or stuffy nose you cough a lot and generally feel like crap. With bipolar depression you feel hopeless, worthless, and suicidal. Those are just symptoms.

I am a former math teacher and as such a mathematician. In mathmatics we have things called axioms and postulates. These are mathematical facts that we accept as true without proof, and then build theorems upon them. Accept these axioms

1. As long as your basic needs are being met, you have food and water, you have shelter, you are not in immediate danger, and you have people in your life that care about you and make you feel like you belong, you are okay. You can use this site for the last one if you need to.

2. You are in a nightmare, that you can and will eventually wake up from.

3. If you follow the advice of doctors, therapists, and people who are going through the same thing you are and have survived, you will wake up from The Nightmare.

4. Suicide is not an option.

5. Your life, no matter what condition it is in, will be tolerable, even enjoyable, once you are awake from The Nightmare. Things will be important to you, things will bring you Joy, you will find happiness and simple tasks, and challenges will be welcomed as opposed to barriers that seem unreachable.

The last one is the hardest one to accept. When I was at the bottom of my depression, I was a 47 year old man with a failed career and more bills than I had income for, and my house was falling apart. I felt like I was losing everything, that I was a loser, and that death would be better. After following the advice of fellow sufferers, doctors, therapists, and taking a reasonable medication, I find that my life is not changed. I'm a 50 year old man with a failed teaching career, more debt than I have income for, and My One True prized possession, my house, is falling apart because I can't afford to take care of it. Given the circumstances you would think I would feel despair. I do not. I simply see them as challenges and have faith that eventually I will rise to the occasion. Even as we speak and considering going back to school to get a degree to get a better job. None of this is possible when I'm depressed. It is all possible, and achievable, now that my depression is being managed.

I am no different than you are. No better, no worse, I don't think I have any more advantages than you do. I live through this, so can you. In fact, living through it has proven to be quite worth it.

jclark152, Thanks!

I feel depress all the time. I only look forward to get a massage, where I have to pay alot. Feeling dull at work is better to feel like you are endanger, like me. But dull is a kind of pain too.
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