Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've been on DS for over a year now. I joined the Abusive Support group when I finally realized my husband of 18 years has been abusing me. I guess i'm a slow learner :/
After trying to fix things repeatedly and get through to him, I realized i've got nothing left to give. After 4 years of me trying, I decided to divorce him. We're in that process now. It's killing me. He's still living here, we've been in-house separated since e October. We've got 2 girls (9 and 3). I work f/t from home and run the house and care for my girls pretty much by myselfas it's always been. My stbx lives here and comes and goes as he wants and barely steps up to do for our girls.
It's a roller coaster of emotions. When we got together 23 years ago - I thought it would be forever. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I've lost that dream. Within the next 3 months, I'll be a single mom, at 44, struggling. I feel so alone inside. Empty.
I have my sister who is my rock and a small handful of friends I can confide in. Thing is, I lost all faith and trust in people. I lost confidence in myself to make good choices. My mom is getting older and treats me in much the same way as my stbx did - very passive/ aggressively. It's so sad to realize this too, at this stage of my life.
Some days It's all I can do to get out of bed. I just keep seeing my babies faces and what may happen to them if I were not here anymore - and lately, that's the only thing that keeps me going.
After trying to fix things repeatedly and get through to him, I realized i've got nothing left to give. After 4 years of me trying, I decided to divorce him. We're in that process now. It's killing me. He's still living here, we've been in-house separated since e October. We've got 2 girls (9 and 3). I work f/t from home and run the house and care for my girls pretty much by myselfas it's always been. My stbx lives here and comes and goes as he wants and barely steps up to do for our girls.
It's a roller coaster of emotions. When we got together 23 years ago - I thought it would be forever. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I've lost that dream. Within the next 3 months, I'll be a single mom, at 44, struggling. I feel so alone inside. Empty.
I have my sister who is my rock and a small handful of friends I can confide in. Thing is, I lost all faith and trust in people. I lost confidence in myself to make good choices. My mom is getting older and treats me in much the same way as my stbx did - very passive/ aggressively. It's so sad to realize this too, at this stage of my life.
Some days It's all I can do to get out of bed. I just keep seeing my babies faces and what may happen to them if I were not here anymore - and lately, that's the only thing that keeps me going.
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I got an email from Kohl's that I had a 40% off coupon for today and tomorrow only. It took me about an hour but I placed an order and got some great deals. I have been wanting a new dress. I like dressing up sometimes. My birthday is coming up and I have dinner plans at a nice restaurant. But, honestly, I'm a little out of control again. I went through this in the fall. I bought...
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Has anyone else noticed that clearly speaking and doing things intentionally is liberating because it helps combat the feeling of depression and a sense of hopelessness? Let me share a little more: in my experience, when those who have tried to project a hidden agenda that is obviously not aligned with integrity and well-being, it's best to be firm and speak clearly from self-awareness and...
i dont think youre a slow learner at all... you said your mom treats you exactly the same way your husband does... so it seems to me that thats what you learned love was... so of course, when a man showed you the same thing, you thought it was love
but now you know better and wont make that mistake again... now you can find someone that actually loves you, AND treats you like they do too... now your life can begin over (er, well, in a few months anyway)
im glad you have a reason to get out of bed every day (more than just one actually!)... i lost my reason to a while back... but somehow i still keep doing it
i suggest you plan a special day for you and your daughters the day after your divorce is final (or very soon after)... dont tell them about it, make it a surprise, and dont tell them why... and look forward to it
when you start to think about the divorce or well, anything unhappy about it or your husband or anything, think about that special day you have coming up
make it something you and your kids will all enjoy
things will be ok, eventually
*hugs*