Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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drogovska 02/02/2017

I have been a Christian all my life, studied for the ministry, had to drop out because of depression. Looked for help, nothing worked. Grew up with abuse and neglect by what I know believe were alcoholics.

Got married at 33, prayed for a Christ centered family and marriage. Turned out my wife was a spending addict and would not take care of our child. Our child began to show signs of something wrong. We prayed for a diagnosis. We got none. Nothing helped.

He grew up, got worse and worse. He is 27 now, and they think he has schizophrenia. He is in jail now because of his mental illness. If he gets out, he will be homeless in the winter time.

Last week, I was listening to Rick Warren's 40 days of purpose, and he kept on using the phrase "God loves you so much . . . " and it hit me. I realized that this cannot in any way be true.

I prayed all my life for relief from my depression. God said nothing, God did nothing. I prayed for a healthy child, nope. I prayed for guidance on how to help my son. Nothing. I prayed right up until last week. I finally realize, God definitely does not love me or my son.

What kind of Loving father watches suffering and does absolutely nothing, ignores requests for help from his children? The were 90.000 Christians killed for their faith. Some were burned alive, some drowned in cages, some buried alive, even children buried alive, and some crucified.

What kind of a God loves his chilren by not protecting them? He does nothing and says nothing. I have wasted my life believing in this God. I don't know if I am angry at God, or angry at myself for believing this nonsene.

Now I am forced to make a choice about my belief. Either God is a personal God, in which case, he is a liar or uncaring oaf. Because he is able to help, but is unwilling. He just watches suffering and says nothing, does nothing.

OR, God is an impersonal God like a principle, like gravity, in which case God is not able to help even though he may be willing

OR, God is just imaginary, like that friend you had when you were 5 years old, Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny.

I am really angry about this, and disillusioned and disoriented. I have wasted my life believing in God and "his promises."

I think Christians are like that child who keeps making excuses for a deadbeat Dad, "well we don't understand the big picture." Just like the child who says, "well, Daddy probably had important work to do, he will come next time I have a birthday."

Does anyone have a third alternative? Is there a limited god who is helpful even though not powerful?

whatswrong19 02/02/2017

Buddhism is much older than Christianity, that way of life teaches you to rely on yourself more, that what happens to us, happens due to our karma, from either this or other lives. that there is no one God that created everything, although there has to some form of creator in my point of view, but everything you are going through, even life itself is temporary, when you except your karma, and learn to let go of self-grasping and self clinging, things will start to improve. But even with that in mind, I'm still upset because I want to work in a different environment than the one I currently am in, but if I can bring myself to let go of self grasping, and things like that, I can get better, I won't be so stressed out.

drogovska 02/02/2017

So what you're saying is that I need to stop trying to know a God that can't be known, that there is a creator, but one that is impersonal, that the allness, that is, everything together as a whole is God, and therefore cannot be known , so stop trying?

luca 02/02/2017

Although I can never put myself in you shoes, I want you to know I have an understanding of what you have gone thru. For what it is worth, I hurt for you and with you. As regards the nature of God, I also struggle. In the meantime, a quote from Carl Sagan was of interest to me. “In all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other.” On perhaps a more positive note, "A finite mind cannot comprehend what's going on in an infinite universe, making the unimaginable a possiblity".---Lou Lile

whatswrong19 02/02/2017

well, buddhism teaches that nobody can help you except you, not another person, not god, not any other being but yourself. I get help from other people very often, so if others can help, perhaps God can too, I don't know, you see things that can't be explained everyday, but I try, but don't always or even often succeed , but I still try

ThePepperMan 02/02/2017

A long time ago a minister told me this story. (I was going to a christian school at the time.)

When he was a little boy, his mother told him that a friend of his had died. He went to his room and prayed for his friend to still be alive; he was told to pray for what we want and God will deliver. It seemed so simple to him. So after praying for his friend to be alive he went back to his mother and asked how his friend was doing now.

I think that the lesson is for us to know what to pray for. Instead of praying for our friend to come back to life, we need to pray for family and friends to help us understand and cope with the loss.

Instead of praying for very specific things, we need to pray for guidance and help, things to assist us as we deal with what has happened. So I do not pray to lose my depression; I pray for ways to deal with it, I pray for friends to understand it, and I pray for situations that will help me.

I believe that God gave us free will, and put us in a world that is not always kind. The more kind we are to one another, the better off we all are. Many of the issues we suffer from are made by us: poverty, lack of education, bigotry that prevents people from getting what they need to have a quality life, etc.

drogovska 02/02/2017

That's tuff. I have been practicing the 12 steps, which just ask that you adopt a higher power of some kind. I guess I will have to start looking at nothingness or allness as a higher power, and trust it. It is difficult to shift from the habitual personal god concept to an impersonal principle.

It leaves me feeling abandoned, but at the same time, relieved. Expecting something and getting nothing really adds disappointment and rage. Either way, I still must watch my son suffer, with no way to help. I can't wrap my head around that.

LillyGabriel 02/02/2017

Who are you going to blame once you stop believing in God? Where, and with who, will all the fault lie once He's not in the picture anymore? Once you reject God, who'll be responsible for your life and who's going to fix it? I don't know much, and I understand less, but I do know that most of the suffering on this planet is due to our own greed, hate, willful ignorance, stubbornness, selfishness, cruelty, and sinful lust. God does not force us to live according to His statutes but if we did, this world would be a right near perfect place. People want to blame everything on God when things are going wrong but when they're good, we don't even need Him. The truth is, He doesn't need us but we do need Him. Get honest with yourself and put the blame where it belongs. I've had a lot of hardships in my life but most of my problems came about because I chose to live the way I wanted instead of living the way God wanted me to. How is that His fault? It was only when I asked Jesus into my heart that my perspective changed. We're not robots that He controls. He gave us freewill. We just have to live with the consequences of it.

drogovska 02/02/2017

Well, then if there is no prayer for specific things, as Jesus taught, then I need to reject all the claims of Jesus, and I have no need for God. It seems to me that whether I have a belief in God or I don't, there is no difference in what happens to me.

So, either way, my only son is mentally ill, I can't help him. There is no hope, but at least I no longer embrace false hope.

Heidiclark 02/02/2017

It's scary how much God does not help people who ask for it. I finally had to stop asking. I couldn't take the rejecton any more. When your son gets out of jail I would suggest you get him on some medication. It could make a huge difference.

shelda 02/02/2017

I have prayed my whole life. I pray and I pray..and I still feel alone.And I wish i could say something meaningful here but I can only think of one thing that helps me. Memories of happiness..Its the little things that end up being the thing that saves you..Breathe ..wrap your arms around yourself and say I Love Me.I am Worthy.I am of Value.Hug yourself..watch something funny like New Kids down the hall..go for a walk..and Breathe in and out..in and out. Know that there will be moments of happiness and i guess the more you try to be happy the more your brain wants to think that way again.Peace and Love :)

drogovska 02/02/2017

Lily, it is not about taking responsibility, but about seeking help for my son. If there is no God to ask for help, then I am without hope entirely.

My whole life has been hell, and now, I must watch my son suffer. And now, there is no one to which to pray. There is no hope at all.

Yet, if it is true that there is no God, or at least none that actually helps when you ask for it, i must embrace that truth.

drogovska 02/02/2017

I am not responsible for my son's illness, and neither is my son. It has nothing to do with responsibility ,but with reaching out in suffering with help.

TooMuch 02/02/2017

I am envious sometimes of believers. In hard times I think it would be wonderful to have the comfort of something like a god and an after life. I haven't had belief in anything like that for a long time so I guess I have more practice at living without it but it is still very difficult. I do find comfort in various things that might or might not be relevant to you but there are other things that can give you some sense of that, so maybe go exploring other belief systems and ideas until you find things that click.

bridgie101 02/03/2017

I'm inclined to think, based on my own experiences, that facing reality hurts but it's also liberating. When you stop waiting for God to fix things, you have more chance of looking for the real things to fix things. Stuff that might actually work.

I spent at laest 15 yrs trying to be better so that God would give me a happy life. daily. Every single day I tried again. But nothing got better, but rather progressively worse and meanwhile I trained my husband to treat me badly by being such a doormat. This led to a nervous breakdown, where all of my reality broke, and had to be proven to be allowed back in (a natural process, I didn't go to any courses on this). when it all broke, and I viewed the world now through pragmatic, realistic eyes, I could see I had pretty much invented it all through some kind of superstition. When I threw it all away, my life improved. A lot of other imaginary creatures disappeared. Like monsters, ghosts, all of that stuff. If you can't see it? It's because it's not there (microbes excepted.) And they at least can be viewed via tools. But those things you have to 'believe in' to experience? That's because they're made up.

Saw this the other day. Micronutrient overdosing may (I haven't had time to investigate or experiment) reduce mental illness, to a degree. I doubt it's a magic bullet but it would be fun to investigate. They say it can have an impact on schizophrenia. Antipsychotic drugs are quite debilitating in their own right, which I think is why schizophrenics stop taking them. I have a couple of cousins with schizophrenia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dqXHHCc5lA&feature=share

It's short, a TED talk on youtube from a scientist's report result.

As to anger? I had a lot of anger at a lot of people, but ultimately I played make believe with my imaginary friend all those years, so I had only myself to blame.

patti22 02/03/2017

Putting aside the god issue...

How about petition Congress for research funds? There was a time when it was thought that AIDS was a death sentence, same with diabetes, epilepsy, cancer...

One Percent of the world has schizophrenia...1%. That's huge. And heartbreaking.

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