Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
If I thought my life was bad before, now I am really "Foo-bar" (excuse my French). My doctor took me off of the one med. that I take that actually gets me out of bed sometimes. She did it because of my high blood pressure. But I'm telling you guys I can't make it without Adderall!!!! And the doctor I went to see about putting me on blood pressure medication said it wasn't that high so he wasn't going to put me anything right now.
I can't tell you how upset I am about this! I begged and pleaded with my doctor to put me back on the Adderall---told her I was really doomed without it but she said not until my blood pressure comes down and then she would "consider it." The only reason I am able to write this note right now is because I had a few leftover Adderall and took two last night so that I could at least get up long enough to play a board game with my son. This is making me crazy!!!!
I can't tell you how upset I am about this! I begged and pleaded with my doctor to put me back on the Adderall---told her I was really doomed without it but she said not until my blood pressure comes down and then she would "consider it." The only reason I am able to write this note right now is because I had a few leftover Adderall and took two last night so that I could at least get up long enough to play a board game with my son. This is making me crazy!!!!
I have been taking meds for around 3 years and have never felt better. I get up and am ready to meet the day, where before I was so depressed and I dreaded work. I can concentrate and articulate well...and I laugh! I have some sort of a chemical imbalance, so I will probably always been on meds to feel "normal"
Your post attacking "me" is not only extremely hurtful, it is painfully ignorant,as well."We are all in control of our own lives.."Really?I'd like to think that to some degree we are,unfortunately,since the age of 13 I have had a deeply incapacitating depression, which caused me to need to drop out of college and rendered me unable to function enough to resume my life at all without the aid of several medications,INCLUDING Adderall.And,excuse me:my psychiatrist,whose medications literally saved my life,is one of the top 5 mood specialist psychiatrists in the city of Los Angeles, so telling me that I am "ignoring"my doctor's and other medical advise--when HE is the one who prescribes me the Adderall---reveals you have in no way comprehended my post. (Would you like to read a statement,from my dr., revealing exactly WHY he has sustained my life on an extremely low dose of Adderall for many years?.I am so hurt by you,I am more than happy to ask him to provide one!I can message it to you.) So,I"choose to deny any personal responsibilty?"For what,might I ask you,since you're so clearly the expert on my life.Being on Adderall is the difference between my doing a laundry,taking a shower, and spending time with my daughter--as opposed to lying in bed for the entire day, absolutely unable to do anything at all,to be there for no one.That makes my choice,in taking Adderall, the CHOICE to BE PRODUCTIVE,OR SOMEWHAT SO,INSTEAD OF COMPLETELY PARALYZED WITHOUT IT. Gee,my daughter prefers me IN her life,rather than motionless in bed all day;is THAT the way I am choosing to not "take responsibility" for myself?If that's your definition of my being irresponsible,then gee,I guess,for my daughter's sake--for the sake of being ABLE to be active in her life,rather than helpless and inert with my depression-- I will CHOOSE to be "irresponsible."
I deeply resent your believing that you know ANYTHING about my specific, extremely severe,life altering biochemical depression, much less about my personal "choices", or accusing me of my being an "irresponsible" person.My own doctor said that he quite rarely prescribes Adderall or other stimulants to depressives,but that my depression is severe and life endangering enough that it is absolutely warranted,and needed.It helps me to FUNCTION,b/c w/out it,I'm sorry,I have no CHOICE to simply "snap out of it" and so I CHOOSE not to be completely incapacitated by it. Those are personal and profoundly ignorant accusations you make against someone whose life situation--whose type and degree of depression--you know nothing whatsoever about. IN MOST CASES,LONG TERM USE OF ADDERALL IS UNWISE TO PRESCRIBE,AND SHOULD NOT BE.My Dr,a specialist on mood disorders, know this well.But there are exceptions to just about EVERY RULE--or standard--and my depression is one of them, it is a rare and intense kind which my dr. CHOOSE to put me on, so that I might have a fighting chance---and choice--of getting the hell out of bed in the morning, as I was unable to do, without it.And since WHEN does battling severe chronic,biochemical depression have to do with summoning one's will power?One can use it,certainly,to a degree,to get better,but in the state I am in w/out Adderall,I am TOO SICK,and that sickness is WELL BEYOND MY WILL AND WISH TO CHANGE IT.Adderall gives me a chance TO use my willpower, it allows me to try to make positive changes in my life--changes I'd be LITERALLY UNABLE to make without it.ADERALL and my other meds are what help to allow me to get out of bed in the morning AND to attempt to make progress and positive with my life.NOT because I'm "addicted" to Adderall ,and "irresponsibly" choosing not to get off the medication,but because Adderall is prescribed to me by a highly esteemed psychiatrist who knows far more about me and the severity and kind of my depression than you ever will,all your highly inaccurate guesses and assumptions about me and my condition aside..
I'm sorry that you assume everyone's depression is so similar,and that everyone's treatment for depression--should it involve an "addiction"--must be terminated.Adderall IS,with good reason, very rarely used long term for most patients with depression, but EVERYONE who *has* been prescribed it for depression long term,is HARDLY using the drug as a "crutch" or as a way of evading making changes on their own.(And,as for your medical specialists "all agreeing" that Adderall is NEVER to be used long-term, that's just an outright lie:as I've said,my own dr. prescribes it, but I also had second and third opinions from two other doctors I saw who agreed with the Adderall treatment,considering the specific details of my type of biochemical depression. Your blatant untruths are hardly the way to make a point.)
"Regain control of my own life?" I have already done that,thank you , and Adderall has been a large part of my being actually ABLE to CHOOSE to try to make positive change..I'm sorry that you believe there are no such things as exceptions to any rules, that absolutely EVERYONE taking Adderall long term is a lazy, self deluding, irresponsible addict who is *choosing* not to live their life fully.In fact,Adderall helps me to do exactly that:have the capacity to live a more functional and fuller and more responsible life.I am very blessed by that,it helped save me.Just b/c you do not approve of long term Adderall abuse,and want to warn people against it, DOES NOT MEAN EVERYBODY'S needs for taking ADDERALL are the same.People are different;there will always be cases that are quite different from the norm. YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME,and it is very insulting that you would go so overboard as to write a post presuming to DIAGNOSE ME -- --despite your actual, absolute,obvious ignorance of my depression,of my character, and of my life.
If you ever find yourself in need of additional support may I suggest EMDR therapy. It truly saved my life at one point.
Good luck to everyone, I hope you all find peace!
EVERYTHING THAT I POST IS MY OPINION, IT IS NOT FACT. I AM NOT FORCING YOU TO BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVE BASED ON FACT, I AM STATING MY OPINION OF WHAT I BELIEVE IS TO BE CORRECT. EVERY POST ON THESE BOARDS IS AN OPINION AND THE WRITER'S VIEW OR PERSPECTIVE SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN SO DEFENSIVELY, OR AS AN ATTEMPT TO DERAIL OR DEMEAN YOU AND YOUR VIEW. Just because I don't attach IN MY OPINION or IMO to every frickin word I write, doesn't mean that I believe every word I say is 100% TRUE. There is ALWAYS room for debate; there is ALWAYS a chance of change. The way I write may be too blunt and alarming for some, but I don't pussyfoot around what I see as a possible issue or problem that I could, in some way, be of help. And if my help and advice is rejected, then fine. You have a right to your own opinion, as do I.
Kaitrin, I wasn't personally attacking you. In the first part of my reply, I did quote you, but that was only to bring light to the assumption that YOU made. Having a dose raised does not mean you're an addict, unless you're doing it for unlawful reasons and not because you are looking to feel better. As I said many times before, there's a DIFFERENCE between addicts who abuse recreationally and those who continually use and want to use drugs to better their life. I was pointing out that no one was labeling you as an abuser, because from your reply it sounded like someone was accusing you of being that. And no one did.
My next point in my most recent reply, about "choice," was not directly aimed at you and your life. You are ASSUMING that I am putting you down for choosing to live this way, and I am not. My use of "we" and "you" in the next paragraph did not only mean YOU. "We" as in the general population of us, relevant to the topic of medicating to feel better and get on with our lives. Not just YOU or the person who originally posted. It was a harsh way to put it, I don't disagree with that, but I felt it necessary that it was out there.
Choosing to use meds in order to get on with life is NOT A BAD DECISION. You, AGAIN, assume that I am demeaning that choice! I totally agree with seeking out medication to better a part of your life that is lacking, medically. I have a sleep disorder, I KNOW what it's like to physically depend on a drug to keep me awake. I knowingly CHOOSE to be on Adderall, and am aware of the consequences that come along with that- the longterm effects of using Adderall on a daily basis, for a long period of time. I'm not saying that YOU will DEFINITELY suffer from those effects, but I'm just making you, and everyone reading this post, aware of it. Sure, you may already be aware of it, but what I feel needs to be expressed in NO WAY implies a personal attack and should not be thought of as one.
Any sign of despair over the "NEED" of drugs SHOULD ALWAYS be questioned. And the assumption of having lifetime treatment on Adderall, as the only way to function, is saddening to me. I have a plethora of medications I take for various illnesses and disorders... that I CHOOSE to take. But, I don't "NEED" the drugs to be able to choose my daily life decisions. How is that healthy, physically or mentally, for anyone?? A high rate of people on prescription drugs for medical reasons, end up becoming dependent and addicted to them. That doesn't make them bad people. I NEVER STATED THAT OR IMPLIED THAT. What I did state and imply is the importance of people knowing how drastically influential drugs can be on a persons life, that they ARE ABLE TO control what happens in their lives.. to EMPOWER them to take control, rather than leave it up to the drugs. I NEVER ACCUSED ANYONE HERE OF BEING A DRUG ABUSER. I NEVER PUT DOWN ANYONE'S CHOICE TO USE DRUGS. BUT EVERYONE WHO IS ON A PRESCRIPTION DRUG NEEDS TO BE AWARE OF THE CHOICES THEY MAKE, AWARE OF THE MANY HARMFUL SIDE EFFECTS OF WHAT THEY "NEED" TO TAKE, AWARE OF HOW THE DRUG HAS ALREADY TAKEN EFFECT ON THEIR BODY AND MIND, AWARE THAT EVERY DECISION THEY MAKE TODAY WILL HAVE AN IMPACT ON TOMORROW. And if you already knew that, then great, then move on.
Heidi, I'm glad everything worked out for you. I wasn't basing any of my opinions directly to belittle you for your actions or choices. Because I have made the same choices, have been through the same actions. I honestly was only hoping to give info that I wish I had known or someone had pointed out, before I went through the ups and downs with every medication for every "disorder." Maybe then I would've been better prepared and expect the bad rather than be surprised by it. I'm sorry if my posts seem like an attack on your life, my intentions were towards a better future, for you and for anyone who happens to read this thread.
From now on, I will make sure to attach this forewarning to every post I reply to, if ever again:
"The contents of this post represent the views and experience of the author. The author has taken precautions to ensure that the information in this post is error- free. However, readers must be guided by their own personal and professional standards of good practice in evaluating and applying recommendations made herein."
"You are in charge of your own decisions. You CHOOSE to believe that you need Adderall to function; you CHOOSE to not seek out/make changes that would affect your life in a positive way; you CHOOSE to ignore advice of your peers and medical professionals; you CHOOSE to live this way and deny any personal responsibility. Yes in the beginning it will be the most absolutely difficult thing you've ever had to go through, but in order to regain control of your own life, you need to accept the responsibility for your own actions if you ever want to start feeling better."
I'm sorry(in every sense) but THIS quote is a pure assumption on my personal experience, condition, and my usage of Adderall.You are OUTRIGHT stating that *I* am irresponinsibly using Adderall, that I am ignoring the advice of my "medical professionals", and that,while denying all personal responsibilty,I am CHOOSING to live this way:"out of control of my own life." What is this if not an ignorant and groundless attack on me personally, an entirely invalid assessmen of my experience and the actual facts of my usage of a medication? NOWHERE do you state that in your "opinion" I am an irresponsible user of Adderall who is choosing to ruin my own life with it; you state it as though it were known to you.In ACTUALITY, you know nothing whatsoever about me except that I have been medically prescribed to take Adderall long term, period. You are both judging and condemning my character and my reliance on Adderall, inaccurately and unjustly,based purely on your own presumptions. As you know NOTHING about the severity of my depression or my medical NEED to be treated with Adderall for it(yes,a need; without Aderall I Ilived my life as a zombie, nearly catatonic from depression) I am extremely hurt by your words. I do not think you do have a right to acuse another on this board of things such as ignoring all medical advice and CHOOSING not to try to improve their quality of life by using Adderall merely as a "crutch." This is absolutely untrue and not merely an OPINION but a sheer presumption on your part stated as though it were fact.I do need Adderall in order to function, THIS is a fact, and while you have the right to doubt me, you do NOT have any right to make an entire assessment of my very character and my supposedly self-deluding misuse of that medication.I DO appreciate that you are only attempting to help warn others;however,inaccurately summarizing another person's experience and needs and necessary choices is unjust and urwarranted.
Rufskya: Thank you so very much for your post. Adderall is indeed a drug that helps me to function;my brain's chemical imbalance is such that I cannot maintain enough energy OR stamina naturaly to get far out of bed,much less lead a REMOTELY productive or helpful life. I hope profundly that you do not have a similar condition,it is simply no way to live. I really do appreciate your input and insight on the subject.
1. A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof
2. A judgment based on special knowledge and given by an expert
3. A judgment or estimation of the merit of a person or thing
You are being way too sensitive and defensive.
The definition of "OPINION" is:
1. A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof
2. A judgment based on special knowledge and given by an expert
3. A judgment or estimation of the merit of a person or thing
You are being way too sensitive and defensive.
You are being way too sensitive and defensive. See that right there? That's an opinion- MY OPINION. If you want to take it like I'm attacking you, so be it, because you are stuck on this idea that I'm pinning you as some addict. You are obviously twisting my words or coming up with new ones, because where do I say that Kaitrin is choosing to ruin her life? Please direct me to where I supposedly say, "KAITRIN, HEY THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU." Because it's not, so get over it. But you can have your opinion too, and I don't call you ignorant.
How can I not assume some things, based off of what you've written in your post, but that doesn't make me a villian. I didn't describe the "experience of Kaitrin" or advertise it as such. I described my opinion of the experience that most Adderall users have to go through- a generalized assumption, based on what I had experienced and what I have read. So what's wrong with that? Nothing.
"I do need Adderall in order to function, THIS is a fact, and while you have the right to doubt me, you do NOT have any right to make an entire assessment of my very character and my supposedly self-deluding misuse of that medication." How does this make sense? You say that I have the right to doubt you, but then immediately after, that I don't have the right to judge your character? If I doubt you, then how is that not judging your character? And where did "self-deluding misuse of that med" come from? It's almost like you're creating these "personal attacks" to make more of an argument against me. Seems almost like you are the one attacking me, when I'm trying to commiserate with your situation because I suffer from the same condition. And I say that based on what you have revealed about your condition, that you take Adderall to give you energy because your body is not generating enough on its own. I RELATE TO YOUR EXPERIENCE. And that doesn't not make me a cruel, ignorant, and whatever other words you used to put me down. I'M ON YOUR SIDE. How is that so hard to understand?
And correct me if I'm wrong, but can we both agree that to make a "judgment" is to make an assumption? Writing my opinion as though it were factual still makes it AN OPINION. If a person has an opinion about something, of course they will describe it as though it were true, because that's what they believe. You can accept it or not, and you chose to not only not accept it but also make a scene. Re-read what you have written- now who's bashing who? Who's making the assumptions of character?
Great- I'm glad that my "assessment" is deemed invalid in your eyes. I don't need your approval to think what I choose to believe. Yes, you may have an impact on whether or not my belief changes, but what does it matter to you if you're so sure of your own beliefs? If you are so fine with taking Adderall or whatever you seem to feel the need to defend yourself, then why are you so aggitated over what someone else thinks? Okay, so you disagree, strongly disagree that I am not right- isn't it time then to.. just move on? Like I've said many times before, I have a right to my own opinion, and if you don't like it then too bad. Don't read it. Everything's not about YOU- you just assume that it is.
I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree because this is getting ridiculous. Next time you decide to write a post for whatever reason, know that you're going to get replies from people who don't agree with you because of their own beliefs. Maybe then you can think to have a rational conversation (or if you want to call it, an argument) about the topic. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I know have heard yours, don't agree with it, but moving on.
Heidiclark: Thank you SO MUCH, for your words!!! IThey mean more to me than I can begin to express, and I will be writing you back very soon.