OMG, I really feel your pain! FWIW, my doc continues to prescribe Adderall to me even though I've been on beta blockers and meds for hypertension and cholesterol for some time. Your doc is supposed to be there to help you. If this is really affecting your quality of life, let her know! If she still refuses to refill your scrip, it may be time to find another doc. Adderall is not one of those meds you just quit taking without it having a fairly major impact on you one way or the other. Your doc knows this -- be sure she understands how seriously it is affecting you.

I am so sorry he did this to you. If he won't change it then I would go find me another doctor if possible.

Thank you for your support. It really helps to know that there are people who really do understand my situation.

Let me just share with you my personal experience with Adderall.

I was on Adderall for a long time in college (just under three years) and at first I felt AWESOME. I felt like I had finally figured out what was missing in life. I could cook, clean, go to class, and go to work and still party with my friends. I was my happiest/funniest/smartest self....in short I was always "on" and it felt great, like I was finally the person I always wanted to be.

Then I started to need more and more of it to get the same affect. I ened up on a dose of over 120 mcg. I was pretty much addicted. I weaned myself off because I knew I was losing my health insurance. By this time I wasn't really feeling the euphoric affects anymore so most days spent without it I just felt a little slower and tired. What did start to happen though was that I started to gain weight uncontrolably...we are talking nearly 100 lbs in under 2 years.

My OBGYN put me back on Adderall shortly after my daughter was born (a much lower dose) and I really felt nothing from it but when i went to have my new PCP write me another RX he flipped out on me and pretty much told me I was a drug seeker.

Point is, I really really understand why you want to stay on this drug but just remember you can't be on it forever. There is a part of me that wishes I could find another doc to write me a new RX (once I get insurance again) and there is another part of me that wishes I had never crossed paths with that drug.

My advice: wean yourself off and be sooo carefull if you are prone to weight gain. Good luck.

Have you been on Adderall for a long time and what's your dose? What were you being treated for? I've been on Adderall for a couple years now, originally prescribed for ADD but switched over a year later after I was diagnosed with a sleep disorder so I understand how devastating it could be to lose your prescription.

Sometimes doctors detect signs in their patients that tell them to slow down or stop a certain prescription, especially an addictive and controlled substance. I don't know your doctor, so I'm not saying this is true for you. I do know that doctors don't want to create a liability say, if you died suddenly from your high blood pressure (anything that can be tied to prescriptions you were taking at the time) or if you become addicted and someone else becomes involved with your care, rehab, etc., your doctor will most likely end up in a lawsuit for malpractice. Also, their reputation that takes years to build is permanently tarnished if not obliterated. There's a lot to lose.

I'm going to be brutally honest here... You do seem to have some red flags in what you wrote, but maybe it is just a miscommunication. Why are you dreading living life or "doomed" without it? Adderall is not supposed to "get you out of bed." That phrase screams dependency. Adderall is supposed to help you stay awake, after you get out of bed. Meaning, after you take the pill, you're supposed to make some effort to stay awake (not sitting in your bed) and not cozy under the covers again. I know it's hard to do, but you shouldn't be relying on the Adderall to act as an alarm clock. Also, Adderall shouldn't be preventing you from good sleep hygiene... You need to go to sleep at a reasonable hour (not at 3:22 a.m.) and not let the Adderall ruin your sleep cycle. You need to force yourself to go to bed, even if you're not tired.

I'd be careful with how you approach your doctor in the future about getting Adderall back, if you really think that you need it. Telling her that you're "doomed" without it is telling her that you depend on it to push you to live through each day.

I was on Adderall for about a year. I took 60 mg./day. I understand that my doctor has liability issues and doesn't want a lawsuit on her hands in the event that I have a heart attack or a stroke. But I also know that I have to be able to fucntion at least enough to get my son to school in the mornings and also need to not be suicidal. To me these are high priority issues. I can't think at all without Adderall----or even tolerate the idea of getting out of bed. (I took some again today that I had leftover which is why I am able to write this note today). And I have not built up a dependancy on it. If that were the case then that would be something I would have to deal with. But right now that's not the case. I am not an addict seeking pills so that I can have some kind of "fix." I am, however, severaly ill with an extremely debilitating depression that has kept me in bed and completely disabled for many many years. Those or you who can function without certain meds. are very lucky. I do not have that luxury and have battled this thing my whole life (and I'm 47 years old!).

Have you tried asking your doctor about other forms of treatment, or ways to cope with not having the Adderall? Or maybe if you should be taking an anti-depressant, if you're suicidal/depressed? Do you go to a therapist regularly? A therapist would really help you sort through all of this. Depending on medication is not the same as abusing medication; so please don't think I am labelling you as a drug-abuser or addict looking for a fix. I know the two can get confused a lot. We're all sick, some more than others; we are familiar with the pain and frustration that go with it and don't assume anyone is trying to get high.

It's just the idea that you say you can't function without the Adderall that sounds a bit concerning to me. It isn't supposed to do the living for you or be used as a crutch- to wake you up, to allow or make you to think or to prevent suicide. Using Adderall in these ways will further you down the path of self-destruction, whether you're aware of it or not. One of the ways being what you have said, the building tolerance issue. What happens when you get to the highest dose prescribed? You won't be given anything higher, and you'll suffer through a lot before figuring out how to cope.

I say this from experience- it's heartbreaking to have reached that limit and then not know what to do or how to be able to cope, which leads to an even deeper depression than what you've had before. I, too, once felt like I had no life without taking the med, and it's tough to come to grips with the reality that you are in control. It takes a lot out of you to admit dependence on a drug; it doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes it easier to get to that first step of grief, to start coping with the loss by finding ways around it, and to know that you can do anything.

I agree with jumpingfences...Adderall is the type of drug that eventually the dosage you are on will not be enough to get you the results you seek.

When I told other Dr.'s the dosage I was on they freaked out and told me I was lucky it didn't give me a heart-attack but truth be told I was starting to have chest pains (at 22 years old!)

Try telling your Dr. exactly what you are telling us and all the reasons you are so scared to get off it, it can't hurt. Maybe he will just bring down your dosage or at least give you something to help wean you off. Who knows there might just be a less harmful alternative to Adderall......to be honest I'd like to know too.

summie, I'm going through what you just described now! I'm 23, and my dose is at it's peak for my body type. I'm curious; what was your last dose? You can private message me if you want to tell!

I can relate very much with what you're going through,Heidi.I too take Adderall,I have for 14 years now, as my depression is so incapacitating that,w/out a stimulant,I cannot get myself out of bed,much less through a functional day.My dr. told me he rarely prescribes it,only for the most severe and crippling depression,where the patient can have no energy or functioning without it.Over 14 years,my dosage has never once gone up,and I have not commited suicide,as I would have w/out it, and have some functional daily abilities ONLY b/c of the Adderall,in addition to my antidepressant.I am not a drug addict,in my doctor's opinion,as well as my own,as I have never neded my daily dosage raised.I really feel for you,about this loss of your Adderall as a kind of a lifeline,and am concerned,as well,that he is taking you off it too quickly.I'm afraid all I can recommend is that you see another dr.,one who will be willing to prescribe it to you after your explaining your condition. Please message me if you ever feel like it;I have not met anyone anywhere so far who takes Adderal for suicidal,severe depression and would like to try to help you out if I can.My very best wishes go out to you!

I hope you're not serious when you say: "I am not a drug addict,in my doctor's opinion,as well as my own,as I have never neded my daily dosage raised." I hope you don't really believe that! The doctor raising your daily dose does not indicate that you are a drug addict, nor does "depending" on a drug for medical reasons. No one here labels you as an addict, just to make it clear.

We are all in control of our own lives, whether we'd like to admit it or not. Ask any medical professional or therapist, and they'll all agree that Adderall is to be used as a supplement, not as a crutch. It should never replace your willpower to be able to function every day. You are in charge of your own decisions. You CHOOSE to believe that you need Adderall to function; you CHOOSE to not seek out/make changes that would affect your life in a positive way; you CHOOSE to ignore advice of your peers and medical professionals; you CHOOSE to live this way and deny any personal responsibility. Yes in the beginning it will be the most absolutely difficult thing you've ever had to go through, but in order to regain control of your own life, you need to accept the responsibility for your own actions if you ever want to start feeling better.

I honestly feel for you and your grief, I am very familiar with that feeling of despair. With everything I've said in my posts, I hope you know that I'm not trying to hurt you or argue who's right. I'm a strong believer in spreading awareness because it's important to learn different perspectives from other people; you're always guaranteed to learn something new, whether you want to or not, that could in turn help you later in the future. We are all here for you in support and know you can do it!

I just finished reading this whole thread; and I would like to say that Jumpingfences is being very harsh to the other Posters.

Do you understand that some people cannot get out of bed without their medications? Adderall may be the drug that these people need to function; their bodies may be lacking the natural chemical stimulants needed to perform daily tasks.

We aren't all the same in chemical makeup.

How do you know that this is a CHOICE they are making?

This is a great discussion! So many opinionsI would like to add my experiences and viewpoint
As a 55 year old, I have been grappling with depression all my life and have been through the gamut with meds and augmentations. When my son was diagnosed with ADHD 13 years ago, I discovered I too had ADD and worked with a psychiatrist to find the best stimulant to takeI have been on Dexedrine extended release (similar to Adderall) for 13 years. When I began, it totally changed my lifeI was able to do things I could never do before stop procrastinating, get things done, make that dreaded phone call, etcit also counteracted the sedative aspects of the antidepressant (some of which like Cymbalta totally knock me out with extreme fatigue).
I come from a medical family and myself am a scientist. My father practiced psychiatry in NYC for 55+ years and participated monthly in a group of psychiatrists that met to discuss and hear lectures on cutting edge psychopharmacology. Through his knowledge and expertise (plus my own excellent psychiatrist) and reading discussions such as at this website, I learned that the knowledge and expertise within the field of psychiatry is in incredibly variable.
A few little known things I have learned:
A stimulant may be prescribed to counteract fatigue symptoms from antidepressants [per my dad all antidepressants have sedative properties, some go away, some do not.]
Many psychiatrists prescribe a stimulant specifically to treat depression. Many more psychiatrists would not even consider this as an option.
Depression and ADHD are very often co-occurring (co-morbid) conditions.
Adult ADHD has only recently been discovered and many psychiatrists and other MDs still do not acknowledge its existence; In psychiatry, this is due in part because many symptoms of ADHD overlap symptoms of other illnesses such as bipolar and depression.
I read in a professional journal that depressed patients with a positive response to a stimulant may be more responsive to antidepressants that act on norepinephrine as well as serotonin levels in the brain, such as Welbutrin and Effexor. (For myself, I cannot tolerate their side effects.)
One NIH psychiatrist I worked with told me she had a patient who took a stimulant in the evening as well as the day just to sleep at nightso for that patient the stimulant has a calming effect
[My 85 year old mom drinks coffee all day to late eveningshe has no problem sleepingin fact when she gets really agitated I give her a coffeeit calms her down (just like stimulates calm hyperactive kids!)]
[When fatigue is particularly bothering me, often the only symptom I have when I have a sinus infection, I can take a full dose of stimulant and go right back to sleep for hours.]
Lastly, not just the public, but many people in the medical and mental health profession (and the FDA!) still believe taking a stimulant is a sign of addiction (since stimulants are controlled substances).

As I mentioned before I have been taking 40 mg Dexedrine daily for 13 years. I have NOT had to increase the dosage over that time, so I dont consider myself addicted in the sense that most addictive substance requiring increasing dosages to get the same effect.
However, I do believe in the plasticity of the brain & that I need this medication to be functional. A recent experience really brought this home for me.
Over the holidays, a very stressful time to begin with made complicated by personal upsets and losses, I lapsed on getting my Rx filled for Dexedrine. Without the Dexedrine I simply stopped functioningI could not get out of bed, I could not call anyone, I had no interest in doing anything. I would not answer the phone. I even had a prescription for the stimulant but could not call anyone to get it filled for me. I continued taking my antidepressant. But while extremely sad, utterly despondent, and cried a lot, I was not suicidal, thank god.
This went on for 3 weeks! Finally, my far flung family became alarmed and my son came over and got my Rx filled. INSTANT CHANGE!
I was able to get up, to think again, to take a shower, to get things done, to call people and TO GO OUT!
I DO NOT like the idea of having to take this drug to feel normal and not be sucked into the vortex of depression. I did not always have to take this medication to be functional but I believe my brain has adapted (hence the plasticity reference) to having this med activate me. When my life circumstances change perhaps I can get off this med, but for now its keeping me going.
One last thought..every human brain and body is uniqueafter all we are not clones of each other.And every person reacts differently to ALL medications.I think with brain drugs or psychotropics, there is even more variability in how we respond to them. After all everyone has a unique personalityand the brain is incredibly more complicated than a heart or lung.
So listen to your own body and brain. psychotropic medications can change not just we feel but also how we THINKand an MD is just as fallible as the next persona good doctor should not discount your concerns and make hasty decisions or judgmentsThe amount of knowledge and information about the human body and brain is unbelievable massiveadd to that how we respond to pharmaceuticals and that scope of knowledge gets even more vast and complicated. Even a psychiatrist cannot possible assimilate all the knowledge known in his or her own field.
Heidi, you wrote
.She did it because of my high blood pressure. And the doctor I went to see about putting me on blood pressure medication said it wasn't that high.
This statement tells me that your doc is unfamiliar with the enormous variability in blood pressure readingsoften doctors take BP at end of appt if its high at beginning just because the adrenalin/stress of getting to appt or going to the doc or having just downed a coffee or soda or all manner of other things can raise your BP temporarily. Looks like a hastily-made, poorly informed decision made on her part and you paid the consequencestime for a new doctor!
I truly feel for you, Heidihang in therethere are lots of us out battling the exact same battle with this med contrary to some of the other postsit is NOT a bad thing to have to rely on itand you can stay on this med indefinitely. Think of it as a nutrient that activates your brain so you can activate your body. Not being able to activate your brain IS NOT a character defect but simply, neurologically, how your brain works. Depressive people take antidepressants to make their brains work better, so they can feel better and function NORMALLY. The same goes for you with Adderall.
I wish the very best.

I'm suprised to hear how many people have been on an Adderall type drug for 10+ years. Most doctors I've spoken to as well as studies I've read speak in great detail of the damaging effects (high blood pressure etc.) such stimulants can have when used long term. But I am not a doctor I am simply a person with their own personal experience of the drug in question. Good luck.

In terms of my experience with Adderall, I take it for a sleep disorder. I'm big into study and research, and I read every article I could get my hands on. My father is a doctor and worked in pharmaceuticals before he retired, and my best friend's mother is a psychiatrist. So yes, I may have a bit of an idea of "what it's like" and know a little on the topic.

Besides that, all I have to say is, clearly this isn't going anywhere. I'm not going to waste my time trying to help; you'll have to learn for yourself. But do yourself a favor and look up "addiction" and "synthetic happiness."