Get a baby animal. It will be like your own babies.

Maybe you will someday.

Are you doing anything to make it happen? (Job, your own apartment, save up money, etc?)

Yes I’m doing everything I can to make it happen

Baby girl I haven't posted in a while so I don't know if you remember me. No advice for you because I did motherhood so badly. But I will say I believe you must work on your problems first before trying to mother another person. Love and good intentions didn't work for me. I was a child myself when I gave birth thinking I would always have someone to love me as I loved them. Wish I had grown up first. I'm still completely alone now they've grown. Best wishes for you sweetheart. You'll be a great mother one day.

I'm sorry that you were sad all day. That's good that you were letting it out. I hope you feel better

I guess I am just wondering why all the desperation and sense of urgency?

I agree with Heidi. Why the rush? You are 19 and you have plenty of time to have a child. I was in my 30's when I had my children. Slow down and enjoy your life.

I agree with Heidi as well.

I think I've told you before I had my first at 19 and it was no picnic in the park. I was in school full time/job/some time partner, nope no picnic. People wondered why I never had another one until 4 years ago at 38, it was because it was hard as hell with one trying to give him a good life with the cards I was dealt.

Babies, especially infants suck you dry. They cry A LOT, so much so you think how are they doing this with their little bodies. They're not a faucet you can turn off the crying; they're not a toy with an on/off switch; they're tiny humans that need your non stop attention.

If you're not in counseling maybe you should think about it because having a baby isn't going to solve whatever deep underlying issues you're having within yourself.

Please try not to get caught in the 'I'll be happy when' cycle. Enjoy your best life now. I understand ' Hope Postponed Makes the Heart Sick' Proverbs 13:12. Read the Bible account of Hannah (1 Samuel 1:2-18); after praying fervently she came to have peace and was no longer depressed.

What is preventing you from being a mom?

I have no one to create a child with.

I thought I read in a previous post of yours that you were ready, the father was ready? Mebbe he's no longer on the scene?

You could create a child without a father...you find a donor with good genes etc.

Are you waiting for the right guy to come along...it sounds that way? If that's the case then you may be in for a wait.... There's no guarantees in life.

There are quite a few men out there who want children but who struggle to find a mate...they're looking to be fathers but not necessarily looking for a wife.

Your options as I see it are:
1) have a child right away without waiting for 'the one'. Artificial insemination etc.
2) Wait for 'the one'...and prepare, and wait...and wait some more but eventually he will come and it'll be worth the wait...if it's God's will, of course!!
3) Wait a little while longer..how much longer is up to you, and then have a baby by artificial insemination etc.

There may be some option I haven't thought of...

https://www.coparents.com/want-baby.php

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2013/02/7571/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jan/31/fathered-34-children-sperm-donation

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/natural-insemination-women-desperate-baby-1862462