I lost my parents too.. and yes the story of being an orphan comes into the mind.
ya know what though.. If if go out and sit quietly i can still feel my parents. And often in a richer place, like in a deeper way. I feel them with my heart, more so now.
Pain makes us do this.. it turns us around to look at what is there.. the heart, love, a silence that whispers to us.. try it.

also.. regarding christmas.. eh.. buy yourself something, and set a date with yourself to take a walk on a trail. I do that a lot each holiday. I dont like small talk and having to be someone at a table. Id rather take that day for ME.

i hope this helps.. and dont take this the wrong way i am not being snyde..
you are alone .... ALL ONE a new adventure awaits for you starchild.

Sending you a big hug and praying for your peace in heart and mind. This time of year is especially hard when missing loved ones. I lost my dad when I was 8. And this time of year brings back memories of sitting in the hospital with my greatest loved one; grandma who raised me. Also missing other dear ones; and coping with my mom's leukemia. I would like to stay connected. As an only child, my heart has been hurting for months thinking of being an orphan.

EmilyRose, you can make it. I lost my best friend of 17 years (my husband) in a very traumatic way in 2020. I also lost my house and my 13 year career in the same year. I moved into a crap apartment and worked a crap job for 2 years. The pain of losing my husband nearly killed me. I made the best of my living conditions and started a better job a few months ago. You don't have to have all the answers right now....minute by minute dear heart. Keeping you in my prayers.

I'm so sorry for your pain, EmilyRose. I lost my Mom a few months ago. My Dad passed a few years ago. It is hard being an orphan. It is okay to be sad. To cry. To grieve. One year isn't even long enough at all. Do you have any siblings or other family that you could talk to or at least spend some time with? It helps to get out and be around other people. You are going to be okay. I know the sadness, too. You are not alone.

Emily you are going through something tremendously difficult.
While I hope that you have moments of happy memories
I have found that sometimes not expecting too much from yourself
is helpful.
Sending hugs

Anniversaries are always hard. I found that the more time it gets easier. The first few years are always hard. I am at peace knowing my mother is in a better place and has no more pain or suffering.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Im sorry i dissappear. At that time I had family who cared and was there. Now my family dont talk to me. So im dealing this on my own. I made a few friends who are there for me and how me what caring is about. And there for me whe. I need them. I called them up one time mothers day weekend also my Dad's anniversary i did have a slip up on self-harming but they never judged they just held me and say we got this.


I pray all of you are doing better. Sending you big hugs and prayers