I am feeling very very depressed and anxious. I decided to read some posts here for inspiration. I keep seeing over and over the advice to talk to a therapist, try medication... I have talked to so many therapists and none have helped me. I have such a negative opinion of the medical community that I just have a hard time believing anyone has really gotten any help. Just to give you some background so you understand maybe a little why I feel so hopeless when I think of seeking help (mental or physical), I lost two infants to crib death, both had gone to the doctor within days of their death for well baby checkups. I had two collapsed lungs, the doctors found no reason. I had severe cystic acne that nothing could be done for (horrible for self esteem), I lost my dad to cirrhosis (alcohol) even though he sought help forever it seems. I was diagnosed with uterine cancer 3 years ago and the doctor I had was so unsupportive it was crazy, I still don't know my prognosis, I do know I had none of the risks assotiated with this cancer. I just read a report on a breast biopsy that I had done 1 1/2 years ago, I was told everything was fine, but the report says it needed to be rechecked in 6 months, o well. I have suffered severe depression all my life and cannot get any help. My sister has bipolar depression and her doctor has her so drugged she is mistaken for a junkie. My other sister just got out of the hospital after two weeks, all her organs were shutting down, eventually they started her on antibiotics at my famlies insistence, she got better but there is still no diagnosis. I have been told I have IBS which the doctors cant explain or do much about, this is so debilitating its hard to hold a job.
I am very negative I know, my live in boyfriend says I am negative and that I dont want to get better. I know I want help but I just think that I am so insignificant that doctors do not even try to help. I fee l that I am so worthless that no one will even care to help.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with a completely new health system. I am going because my boyfriend and my adult children are under the impression that someone can help. I don't want to go, if I get cancer again, I will not have chemicals put in me. I know they can't help my mental issues.
I think I have absolutely no reason to go. Yet here I am thinking that someone here can help me, I always think there will be a happy ending when I know there isn't. Now that's crazy thinking.
I'm a 28 yo female, im good looking, highly educated and cultured person, but people just seems to dislike me for whom I am, I also seem to fail at everything. I'm really tired of myself, I have hate myself all my life, being in therapy, multiple medication, nothings seems to help for more than a few days. I got divorced few months ago from a very abusive man who called me crazy and irrational...
I don't know where to start... its been rough, and I can't do this anymore.. work has been come toxic and everytime I have to go my anxiety is always so high, I've been crying so much.. its not a good environment anymore.. im done working in child care.. however the problem is i don't know what to do.. let's start with the first thing.. there's this person at work who I thought was my friend...