Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Lost and confused

SarcasmANDscifi
SarcasmANDscifi

How can I both hate and love life? I feel like if I hadnt married such a negative, emotionally unavailable person then life would be more beautiful. Its not like I can leave him, we have 4 kids together. Counseling costs money we dont have. Im so miserable and I cant go on like this. This deepens my depression and affects my children. 

LaBoheme
LaBoheme
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I suggest that you talk to your husband about it (if you hadn't done that already). Tell him how you feel, tell him that you're tired of him being emotionally unavailable.
Why is it "it's not like I can leave him, we have 4 kids together'"? I don't know much about your situation and I am not suggesting that you leave him, but I just want to say that there are plenty of single moms and single dads out there who are doing a wonderful job. Yes, it can be tough both psychologically and financially but sometimes separation is the only way out if you both reached a dead end.
It is totally normal and natural to hate and love life at the same time, you love your kids and your life with them . You hate having an emotionally unavailable husband, Talk to him about it..
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
Yeah ... we usually don't look far enough ahead when we commit to marriage. That goes for just about everyone. Down the line, it is more difficult to correct an error ... as you have mentioned. The bigger the problem, the bigger the 'solution'. From what you say .... I predict you will have to 'bite the bullet' and get out of the marriage ..... UNLESS something can turn it around. I have my doubts about that. If I am right ... running from the solution simply extends the problem.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I was in same boat and being in this type relationship was so draining. We have 3 kids but i had to go it was too much.
Katya12
Katya12
Im so sorry you are in this situation. Sometimes in the dating days, we just dont get a true picture. Would your hubby consider counseling? Have you talked with him about his emotional detachment? Is he unavailable to the kids as well? Sometimes if this is a learned behavior from his childhood, some counseling can really be beneficial. Maybe you can draw some boundaries and give him a few ultimatums if he is not cooperative. Not telling you to leave, but sometimes a separation is enough to jolt the other spouse in to really realizing what is important. I have been in your position and I know it is not easy. I will be praying for you.
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