I would love to help you but ive lost my sanity ages ago..

Me too, that's numbing yourself against painful situations. It's so you can cope with stuff you find too painful. Just a guess, cause I do it too.

in that case, i have a bed available #420A
the lady died last nite and it will be perfect.
yu and yur roommate can bitch at each other about whos gonna get up and turn the lite off in the bathroom till it gets daylight.

I know what you are talking about been there almost sure you are under stress and experiencing PANIC ATTACKS.

They are as you desribe how you feel.

Try taking 10 deep breaths in through your nose untill your lungs are full hold the breaths as long as you can then let them out through your mouth slowly saying to your self LET GO

This should give you some relief if so when ever you get in a stressful siuation use the phrase let go if you practice the breathing technique enough eventually just saying the phrase let go will relax you.

It takes about 12 minutes a day and after 3 weeks your body learns to relax when you say LET GO with out having to take the deep breaths. Worth a try>

Try it now.

I just really wish I didn't feel so much pain inside. I really don't know how to deal with it.

the fact that you can verbalise what you're feeling etc says to me that you are not insane. An insane person would be deluded.

ok, turn to MTV rite now and watch JackAss.
it will make yu feel better and laugh too!

You are trying to get away from the pain. Have you tried writing. Keep a journal so you can remember what specifically you are trying to detach from. I know when I zone out I am not good at remembering things. Maybe that will help you some. Hang in there. Take Care

You're not losing your sanity, you just haven't found the right way to deal with things yet. You say that you acknowledge you issues in therapy, but you're pretty sure that you ignore your problems. I'd start there. Acknowledge your problems as well. You gotta lay everything out there, as painful as it might be.

Funny thing is if you read the papers they had you sign in the beginning, it basically reads that "treatment" is not intended to "cure" anything and you may feel even worse dredging up old bad memories

I feel the exact same way. It's as though I am holding the strings of my own puppet. I go through the motions but don't feel anything. It is kinda hard to describe. I spoke to my Dr. (Psychiatrist) about it & he told me that it is part of my depression & in time my meds should help with that. Maybe you should bring it up to your therapist. Anyway, good luck with your journey...

& P.S.......you're not going insane. It's just a part of the whole illness of depression. Doesn't make it too much easier but you're not going insane. Hope that helps a little.

Sorry Allie dear. Hugs to you!
I hope you feel better soon.


LOL Sistah suyB and Lilly!

maybe you should try and schedule an emergency meeting with your therapist and ask her/him for help? maybe they can recommend a med to a doctor that might help. college is a stressful place...

hiya,
my name is bev, my daughter is in university in the usa too. cos we used to live there. but i didnt know she was self harming til this past xmas, when she and two friends came over for a vacation. it might have something to do with your meds. she says thats what started her off. and the stress of university too. you know moving away from home. having to make new friends etc.first year she went to uni, did colour guard, and worked. so the 2nd year she dropped colour guard. she goes to uni full time and she works full time too. she has an hours drive to work every day after classes. so the stress is still high for her, as she has been promoted twice at work. she works at the outback steak house. first hostessing, waiting, head waiter, now the bar. she is doing a business degree cos she wants to own an outback. she is worried now that her final year is approaching cos my income paid for her to go to school. as i wasnt working, and they didnt take any notice of my workers comp payments. so this year she has to pay for herself. i got too much in my settlement to help her with her fasfa. but she found it very hard at first at uni. it is hard. so dont think this self harming is just you cos its not. i called her uni councellor and she said they wouldnt be able to help her unless she went to them. but she also told me alot of girls do the self harming in some sort of way when they first start uni. she says she doesnt do it any more. so i am told. so maybe go to the councellers office and see if you can talk to one of them. good luck