I had a therapist about a year and a half ago that I really liked.  She worked really well for me, we connected and I feel that she was really competent. The insurance dropped her.  Since then it's been hit or miss, really difficult to find someone.  I had a good experience in IOP at which time I came out of a crisis back in March. I didn't have anyone lined up after that.  After IOP in March/April I could feel myself slipping a bit, so I went to find someone else.  The one I found on my insurance wasn't a good fit this summer, so I found someone through my university, who is really great. Problem is, she pretty much does short-term EAP and currently I am five weeks between sessions, which is pretty long. I don't need to go every week at this point, every other week would be OK, but she definitively said when I was in there Monday that this was it, that when I'm graduating, all things come to an end and we'll say goodbye. I guess that's fair as she's paid through the university and the nice part is it was totally free for me being a student!  I sort of feel like maybe to a certain point she may not want to work with me as she schedules the appointments so far apart.

It's too bad, as I really found this particular therapist to be very helpful and have a real handle on the situation.  I find many if not most therapists just can't handle trauma or really complex family dynamics.  She is really good at handling the nuances of dysfunction and everything that comes with it.  

I don't know how much more therapy I actually need, I don't need it frequently, but because of my tendency to relapse in a lot of ways, I feel like I would like to have someone there that I could see either bi-weekly or even check in once a month.  I think it's a good preventative way to stay out of crisis.  I do other support such as a women's group, problem is one of them demands that you faciliate, and I'm very uncomfortable with that.  People bring serious issues to the group for which I am not qualified and I find it overwhelming. Usually I can tell the day after a session that my stress levels and overall sense of being blue is way down and I handle the next few weeks much better.  It probably is bad to be too dependent on anyone.  After all we have to think for ourselves.  Maybe I should look around now before 2024 is over, as that's when we will wrap up.  I only have like two more sessions with her.  What I don't need or want is a bad one who is going to make things worse, that has happened to me too.  I think I will just look around. I'd like to maybe go without therapy for a while, but I also need to recognize that I do relapse sometimes and don't want to wait until I encounter a crisis to scramble and try to find someone. I think mainly I just need some maintenance.