Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Yea, I have had so much shit, not even my own and I have failed everyone. I am drinking right now and not even drunk and cant believe I am writing this.. I am so fucking sad and have been for awhile..
I dont really want to die and when I become Manic again Im sure I can give you a lot of help cause thats when it seems I help everyone but when I am so fucking down, obviously I cant even help myself..
Im not getting any younger and I am in my late 50s and suffered this fucking disease, all my life. Yea I have been the fucking cutter, and I have been on the other side where I walk into the home town bar, had a couple drinks and was always the life of the party. Now that I am old and I cant decipher which is worse. The being *up on life* having a few drinks and finding that man I always needed and screwing his lights out, or the one that set and cried for days and scared all my *best friends off* cause I couldnt be a good enough friend to go out and get the bastards laughing. Yea that was my life and you can read on or not as right now I dont care and most of you here these last few months even know me.. Im the fucking beastie. Im meanie, the one who would get people going and keep shit going.. That was me.. Now I cant keep myself going..
I have seen so many close to me get so sick and tired of being depressed they have taken their lives.. Now seriously!!! Are they the weak ones or is it I that just doesnt dare kill myself? I have asked that too many times lately.. The answer is none that I have.. I want to be strong and I want to be who I should be, but I am in just to much pain to care.. Im not strong enough to kill myself as my ex fiance did earlier this year but then I am not strong enough to live or die.. I know it doesnt make any sense and it doesnt to this fucking old woman but either way I am not living and I dont have the guts to die.. Im in a shell.. I am waiting for my Mania to take over so I can deal with this.. I hate myself and my behavior so much and have anxiety so bad, I would give a zombie, my heart, soul and my personality to give give give, just so I could jump out of my own skin..
Is this a death proclamation??? Fuck NO.. I am not strong enough..
I dont really want to die and when I become Manic again Im sure I can give you a lot of help cause thats when it seems I help everyone but when I am so fucking down, obviously I cant even help myself..
Im not getting any younger and I am in my late 50s and suffered this fucking disease, all my life. Yea I have been the fucking cutter, and I have been on the other side where I walk into the home town bar, had a couple drinks and was always the life of the party. Now that I am old and I cant decipher which is worse. The being *up on life* having a few drinks and finding that man I always needed and screwing his lights out, or the one that set and cried for days and scared all my *best friends off* cause I couldnt be a good enough friend to go out and get the bastards laughing. Yea that was my life and you can read on or not as right now I dont care and most of you here these last few months even know me.. Im the fucking beastie. Im meanie, the one who would get people going and keep shit going.. That was me.. Now I cant keep myself going..
I have seen so many close to me get so sick and tired of being depressed they have taken their lives.. Now seriously!!! Are they the weak ones or is it I that just doesnt dare kill myself? I have asked that too many times lately.. The answer is none that I have.. I want to be strong and I want to be who I should be, but I am in just to much pain to care.. Im not strong enough to kill myself as my ex fiance did earlier this year but then I am not strong enough to live or die.. I know it doesnt make any sense and it doesnt to this fucking old woman but either way I am not living and I dont have the guts to die.. Im in a shell.. I am waiting for my Mania to take over so I can deal with this.. I hate myself and my behavior so much and have anxiety so bad, I would give a zombie, my heart, soul and my personality to give give give, just so I could jump out of my own skin..
Is this a death proclamation??? Fuck NO.. I am not strong enough..
My friend has BP and it is hard for him. I dont know how to help.
He has not found a nice psy doctor yet. I worry about him. Sometimes he just out of control (manic). He tried a few times to kill himself.
I am outside looking in and I dont understand and how to help him. He cannot sleep.
Now I know he is not the only one.
I can tell you from what I am reading in this site. You guys are good. You all give each other support and love and hugs. This is great. You are not alone. You guys have each other. Keep fighting and be strong. Bless all of you
oh where oh where is that bus....?
Beastie....... please let us know you are okay.
we all ruv ru rong rong time xoxoo
Ain't that right Bear????????? Ain't it??????
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE........
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Bless all of you
My brother is in a precedure today and I am praying for him. He is colon cancer stage 3.
*white light all around you and him*
For you and your brother - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWMzkR-Iykk
Beastie, sorry to hear you're in such pain. But let me tell you one thing, you are loved big time here. You hold on to that and get back here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXqFFfVpnhQ
Love you, Beastie.
Ashley
how you are??
You can see how many love and care about you and are standing
by you through this.
You brought me and at least one other person out of our isolation with your post.....that should tell you how precious and important you are, even to people that stay in the shadows and that's no easy task.
(((((((((((HUGE, very gentle hugs)))))))))))))
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Stay with us, hon, we've all been there....and you know it is true that it's worth fighting the bad stuff, to get through to the good!
A woman like you is not likely to be alone for long. I just can't see that happening. NOT with your huge heart, your sense of humor, and your smarts.
You've done so much good for so many people, so many times.
You're the best, and will always BE the best!!!!
Massive hugggss OOOOXOXO