Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members

160,807 Posts

1 Online

meandthebeast 09/19/2008

Im not leaving and Im not going to be stupid enough to say I am. I have to many people here that I love. Im just so fucking sick and tired of seeing so much abuse and pain. But these that are in so much pain are not even close to helping theirselves. Some dont try to help theirselves at all. And I know Im going to get kicked in the ass for this but I am only saying what so many want to and dont.. I have been through as much or more then some and alot less then others., But damnit, Im trying to get better.. I dont come on here every day and post woe is me posts.. Sometimes we have to pull our head out of our asses and help ourselves.. We can only take so much until we cant take anymore..
If you are trying even just a little I commend you, but if you are not then you will never get better and the more we help you be co-dependant, you will never try and help yourselves..
I dont even know who to believe anymore and I dont even have the words anymore to try and help.. I think I am finally pushed over the edge with everything I have read in the last few days. I always try to put a little humor in things but I dont even know if that helps anymore.. Go ahead and hate me.. I dont think I even care anymore.. I love most of you but damnit, how much do you think we can all take with trying to help some that wont even lift a finger to help theirselves.. Dont get me wrong, we all have bad days, many of them.. But day after day after day, the same fucking thing.. I dont know if I can even try to help anymore.. And damnit I feel so sorry writing this, really I do.. I just have had it.. Im so sorry.. I had to get it off my chest.. Go ahead, throw rocks and hate me.. At this point I dont think I give a shit..... If you care at all about yourselves, try, try try to help yourselves.. We are not drs. and we can only do so much..... Again Im so sorry. I just had to say it... IM so sorry of the fighting and bickering and the freaking I cant make it another day and the next week, I cant make it another day, and the next week etc etc etc..
This fucking disease is the worst disease I can think of but it only gets worse if you dont try a little bit.. peace out.. Y'Vonne

deleted_user 09/19/2008

Bless you Beast. You are a wonderful friend to have on DS, with your positivity and encouragement.

Your post is one that has been written and re-written at least every other week. We all have been in the depressive pit where it seems there's no way out - and then we find that first handhold. I would guess that the negative posters are too fearful to ask for real help (they might not get it). It's easier to get angry and trash members that are working hard to recover. This is the reason I seldom come on the main depression boards, I also get fatigued by those who only seek attention or drama. It's an OLD OLD problem here, but then again, we're all fighting this nasty disease the majority of the time. Love & Light to you!

deleted_user 09/19/2008

agree mean and hugs to you btw change your clothes please LOL

winny 09/19/2008

oh ok ok!! so i wont do any more suicide posts! *stops pointing banana at head*

Testycatlady 09/19/2008

Meandthebeast... I don't think anyone expects you to help people more then you are able to. If you can't face the crisis's others are going through, then please, I beg of you, just don't read those posts. I know that when I am struggling over one of my issues, I simply can't be of help to others, and avoid those type of posts like the plague. You are a normal human being. Not God. If people get mad at you for not helping more, or for voicing your feelings.... that's their problem. I and others know you are a warm caring person. Thats really all that matters.

computerbob1 09/20/2008

toddi 09/20/2008

Good Vent. Invest your deep compassion in the one's you know are trying to get healthier. Your love and humor is a tremendous help to me.

deleted_user 09/20/2008

Long as you you know you have so much love....chill as much as you want to.....You know me from 2 groups and we've always been cool on both!!!!!Hugs & Kisses, Boo...I can't be back till Sunday, at the earliest...OT tomorrow am (takes a chunk out of gasoline cost).....volunteering to register voters tomorrow afternoon........can you believe I actually have a date tomorrow evening? Well I DO!!! Good man...Makes Me Smile!! Praise God!!

Yvonne,I fail short all over my life, and maybe I'm not the very best example, Seems like I'm always struggling..

But maybe, Sweetie, you can see God is good. I should be dead, on many accounts...PUSH IT!! This disease is not your end!! Smile on that, know happiness will consume you again! You have kids? Well, you have grandkids coming!! Hang tight, Boo!! xxx

deleted_user 09/20/2008

Good for you beastie babes.....100% behind you honey. xx This is the main reason I dont post here a lot anymore. My main concern is me...sorry if thats sounds selfish but its true. I am well on the road to recovery after a very difficut 12 months, yeh, I have had my down days, I still get them (but they are few and far between) now, my days are mainly ok or good. The last thing I need is people pulling me down, people on here being down right nasty or people playing their woe is me cards ALL the time. I choose my friends carefully on here and I NEED to mix with positive people, people who have the will to get better....it IS possible. Thats why you are on my friends list beastie.....love you loads. xx

deleted_user 09/20/2008

I once met a guy who was insanely open to me; I felt privlidged that he trusted me with his hurt and pain. He told me he was suicidal, he told me all the horrible things he thought about himself and life-- and I tried to help him. He was stubborn-- days passed, and I began to feel that he WANTED to stay in this mindset-- it grew very frustrating. Nothing I did or said mattered. He never smiled, and he always said, "I want to die. F life. I hate people." Over and over again--- there was no changing it... I don't understand.

deleted_user 09/20/2008

I really feel the need to blow a bike out on the highway right about now.....DS pain is messing with my head too....but you know something, if I do it, it will soothe me....it will blow that negativity out of my head. OK...maybe a few rushes....but I have to do it. I don't know what your rush is, but I totally agree to push yourself there. Me? I ride hard. My release. Gosh, I know people who release on golf!!! I'm just saying.....sometimes we have to push our personal release button.....let it fly, let it go!!! It's ok....just let it go in your personal way....maybe shout!!!! Your personal "dealing with it" is YOURS!! Make it healthy & do it!!! Sometimes it builds up, I blow it out riding....Do something enjoyable to you to let it go!!!!

deleted_user 09/20/2008

I agree with the things said here. I very seldom post on 'suicide' posts. Now and then I send a pm to the poster if I feel that they could benefit from something I can offer, but i never ask them not to because that feeds into a dependency that just perpetuates the suicidal ideation cycle. No one can save anyone. I see such wonderful people here being torn apart when someone posts a "goodbye" or "i'm really going to do it this time". I see them beg the person not to do it because they care so much. This actually creates more of a problem for everyone involved, even though it's done with the best and most caring of intentions. And that's not to say that the poster is not hurting - of course they are but they are looking for someone else to save them and so they will never find out that it is only in them selves that they will find their determination and strength to go on. So, in my opinion while it is ok to offer support ex: Im sorry things are so hard for you right now. If you ever want to talk.. or Hang in there. It does get better. Actually begging a person not to kill themselves is feeding into a need and perpetuating the cycle. I have very low periods and am in the midst of one now. My thoughts can become very dark and destructive. I dont post here because I know that this will not serve a purpose for me and the fact of the matter is, if I choose death over life, I wont be telling anyone, least of all a group of people who struggles with dark thoughts as much as I do probably. I do post my feelings in my journal for the most part and the friends who feel that they are strong enough to offer support, do. That helps so much. To come here to read posts and try to pull myself out of this and to find hugs and messages of support from my dear friends, is such a comforting thing. And when I do feel strong, I offer support now in my mind THAT is an appropriate healing circle.

Meandthebeast: once again, a very insightful heartfelt post. Love and peace to you.

deleted_user 09/20/2008

hugs

deleted_user 09/20/2008

So are you saying that if someone here says they are leaving DS, or does leave DS they are stupid? I know you dont mean that, tried to make a funny. (think I failed)

But I do agree emmensely with you oh great dancer. You speak truth, and so well I must add.

Join the Conversation

First
1
2
3
Last