Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
it seems no one has posted there since 2009. I’m in trouble. And there’s not a person on this earth who can say I have not tried everything possible to make things better
yesterday or the day bf I had a long talk w my husband. I admitted( again) to all the suicide research I’ve been doing. I asked him how the hell do I know a vial of Valium with a vial of ambian plus whatever drugs you’re taking WONT kill you but that Tylenol will( painfully)I bought the book the peaceful pill but all it tells you Is how to get yourself some Nembutal
i told him that I had a plan. I detailed it for him
he said. I’ve been hearing this from you for years & ive seen nothing. It’s just words. Actually he yelled it at me
so. Is that an invitation or what? Nobody asks how I am my middle child says she has no mother. I haven’t spoken a word to anyone in days. I exist. That’s all. Well screw him. Screw them all. Nobody in the whole freaking world will miss me
yesterday I abused my meds bc I was ready to do it but everyone was home & I just slept
today they are all going out & I hope he eats his words bc imo he gave me permission.
Im missing duct tape which I need but maybe I can do without. I’m scared. Not only bc this is a huge decision but I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to revive all mangled or severely disabled but honestly would it even make a difference?
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
There are answers, but I do not think your family knows how to help you. Sounds like your first pdoc didn't either.
I'll send you a pm. Maybe we can be friends? I have not been feeling that good about life either, but maybe together, we can figure out a few things!
I did finally try to do “ it”. The family left for an outing while I remained crying on the sofa..Let me tell you,it took me forever to set the whole thing up what I THOUGHT was properly. It turns out I failed at it miserably & it took me another forever to dismantle everything. By that time it was getting late so I came inside fed the dog & 2 minutes later they all walked in
I’ve told my therapist about it..My youngest daughter has been bullimic for 7 years & was diagnosed bipolar after a pretty scary episode where we were afraid she had done some pretty bad brain damage. The diagnoses devastated her. She’s been struggling lately & it’s made me proactive & taken me out of my own head..Meanwhile my other daughter & I took it upon ourselves to find a new place for the family to live.We pay an enormous rent for a true slum located in a desirable neighborhood.theres no locks on the doors broken screens no AC no smoke alarm faulty electricity no washer dryer broken floorboards broken windows sewage problems roaches crawling on me at night you name it. My ill daughter sleeps in a room w no windows no lights & one outlet.on an old mattress on the floor.This is where my husband took them when my mother announced she was selling the house & they had a year to get out or buy the house. He waited till moment zero & was stuck with this. I’m sorry. This is not how I was brought up..
They’ve been here for 5 years & now I’m back & I sleep on a couch I bought & my clothes are piled in a corner of the living room. And he’s doing it again. Not looking. When he is looking he’s looking at cheap dumps in another city far from everything we need( like our drs & my kids jobs)my anxiety has kept me from driving for the past 10 years & at 57 I have no intention of ever driving again. So my daughter & I found a place not far. A little smaller but it has EVERYTHING it’s remodeled & near everything. Husband said no bc the rent was the same. So the daughters offered to kick in substantial rent & I contacted my brother who is furious with me for going back home( I was in Arizona without a car insurance friends & I couldn’t keep a job)& he barely speaks to me anymore So I contact him to ask for money which is very hard for me to do..Even tho he gave it to me I really had to work for it. I’m talking 2 hours of texting & interrogation. So husband has no choice anymore. We go tomorrow w all his paperwork & pray someone else w a better credit score hasn’t laid claim to it..Then I announced that bc the place lacks storage EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT HAS TO GO. My husband is a hoarder. When I moved home all my jewelry & pics of my dad as a working actor w Marilyn Monroe James dean al Pacino etc were lost or stolen. So I am no longer sentimental.
I’m so sorry to go on like this. Like I said I get a little worked up. My point is that I’m INVOLVED so I’m not so mired in my depression right now.It comes & it goes. I am easily hurt. Oh I even( after a huge battle w husband & daughter that left me truly depressed) gussied myself up for the first time in forever & took myself to a party.A huge step for me..I felt so pretty I kept my dress & makeup on till midnight even tho I was home bf 10. I quit the gym which was another source of anxiety for me. I’ve been sitting on my ass for a month but tomorrow I take up yoga. So I guess I’m ok. For now. I didn’t mean to go on I can be very selfish that way but I cannot tell you enough how much it means to me that you reached out to me. You’re the beautiful one