Oh Hon. I'm so sorry you feel this way. Holidays are a hard time. We all care about you, though and I'm sure you have friends and family who love you. You're never alone, and killing yourself is never the answer! Prayers and blessings.

Thank you so much. I don’t have any friends. All friends that I tried to befriend ended up bullying me. High school was very traumatic for me. And I want to kill myself because of my parents, siblings and relatives. Their toxicity have been affected me since I was a child. The man that I’m supposed to call my father did not wanted me to be born and we recently found out that he was cheating on my supposed mother for 5 years behind ours backs then we got robbed by my cousin... Anyways I could go even deeper but I’m going to stop. Anyways I’ve been crying nonstop and I don’t anybody to comfort me or just listen to me instead I have people that are mocking me and making fun of me. My parents used to beat me and sometimes they were do it with my younger siblings. I started to be/feel suicidal when I was 17 and now I’m 20. My life is not worth it I just want to die.

Sounds like you've had some really hard experiences. I'm so sorry. Family can hurt you so much. I know!!! I still believe, nothing is ever bad enough to kill yourself. You'll make many friends just like you here. Have you checked out the different groups? God bless.

I married a bully.. I have no real life friends. Bit the people here on ds have carried me emotionally thru some tough times. We are here for you.

You can go to a local Access Center for emergency mental health services. You can also call 211 to talk to someone in your community for support. Your life will improve with hard work and community resources.

Thank you

Just read your post. Sounds like you have a tough situation . Just want to say that im praying for you and i hope you feel better soon. Hang in there....better days could be right around the corner.

Holidays are EXTRA tough on lonely people. Please hang in there. I feel like you do, but I don't want to die.
The hell with what everyone thinks. Stay in your p.j.'s, treat yourself to a good meal and watch some good movies. Enjoy your own company. Life is full of ups and downs. Things will change for you. Good luck, stay safe and sane!

Don't give up we are here for you. Keep talking and venting here, it helps. You've had it very difficult. Things will improve, seek therapy or religious counseling perhaps it may help also

Your depression will lift at some time, perhaps not completely but enough to give you a moment of clarity. It is at this point you will remember the thoughts about killing yourself and thank yourself that you didn't do it.

Be kind to yourself. Instead of listening to the negative "self talk" in your head, switch it and talk really positively to yourself. For example, go make a coffee, and when you sip it - say to yourself "that's the best coffee I've ever made" - "nobody makes a bed as good as I do" - "I am a brilliant driver, I'm so safe and considerate" and keep saying things like that (as you are carrying out the activity). Do this from when you get up in the morning until lunchtime.

You will see it makes a difference.

Loving Kindness to you

don't do anything to harm yourself please. I urge you to reach out like you did here and find the strength to just make it one more day. take it step by step.

When I feel overwhelmed, I like to put into perspective how small I really am. Take a look at the sky and imagine all the stars above your head, so many that it would be impossible to count. Then think about all the bad, all the good, all the funny, all the sad, and everything in between as moments that each star represents.

Can you imagine how many moments lay before you? can you see that what you are feeling is just one moment in a sea of limitless? Can you imagine how much joy lay before you? Please hold on and remember so much awaits you. just get through today.

qwerasd123, please, don't hurt yourself. You are worth so much. I care about you. You have been through a lot, but you can still thrive.

There is always somebody you have in your life, i have a sister that i speak to. Shes probably the only person i speak to when i doubt. You also have people around you that can help you, work on communication with family members.

family can be your worse nightmare I no longer speak to any of them I miss them but I know they are not good for or good to me. We have an idea family should always be there for you. care for you, love you it is a idea not reality. Sometimes your just have to go it alone it is hard but you will find the inner strength you need. hurting yourself is not a way to get attention from your family go for counseling it does help

Life can be hard, but it can also even out if you give it a chance. I was bullied, but had a son who had wonderful years in school, sports captain and star, liked by girls, popular, parties, was lucky enough never to get in real trouble though he pushed the envelope. My suggestions,

1. Do what you can. Don't try to solve all the problems. Perhaps think of living and finding your own apartment and evaluate how you would do that. think of what job you would want and how to achieve it.

2. Recognize your worth. Some of the most successful people have had tough childhoods. They took two men, one in jail, one a head of a large company and asked for the reason they were there, and each said because of my parents. The one in jail blamed them and the other said a tough childhood pushed him to address adversity and succeed.

3. Not sure this is depression or just a realistic look at tough circumstances which will hopefully change.