I'm so sorry you feel this way. I've been there! I had to move over 500 miles away to free myself from my toxic family and friends. It's been hard and I've been hospitalized a lot but the fight has been worth it. I know I'll get through this. All of my "failures" has only made me stronger. I know you don't see anything good right now. I know it's all dark, hurtful and confusing right now but giving up isn't an option. Please keep up the fight.

Sorry you feel bad, I hope things get better for you, I know when I am positive try to be positive,,people look down on me too, so I tell myself That It doesn't matter what, I must deal with myself, And I rather be positive than negative, but sometimes negative happens, Families can be hard to deal with sometimes, but do not give up, Symptoms must be managed, i hope your family knows that, they are trying to understand I hope, realize some people will not understand what you got, and
Try to think of something you like, or something funny like giant candy canes falling from the sky, Remember to change the channel when you get upset at yourself or others, , If they get angry at you for back sliding,, Try to calm down, and communicate better, Or if they are toxic ,Ignore them , You can not get a coke from the coke machine that is out of order, You can not fix some-one else but you can fix yourself, and you are worth it, You have talents, and smarts that no one else has, You can offer something that has never been seen before, Use your voice, Sing a song, , right a wrong,
write something,, that works with me, when i get depressed, I try to think,of cool things so other people can feel better, Life is hard , I hope I helped,
I am not a expert, just my 2 cents okay,

I lost interest in people. I only want to see a few people. Maybe that will be forever.

It’s a great start to think positive. The ones who reminds you of your”failures” are the ones that need to focus on themselves. They have flaws too. They should try being more positive and send those vibes and energy around them. I like to read a lot of self-help books so I can become more aware of my negative thinking. That it’s not who I am. Those are my thoughts and I will overcome them by loving myself more. I’m not perfect or an expert, but I’m living for me and not be someone else. I want to be a better me, with or without anyone consent but my own. Hang in there and think about the things that do make you happy and focus on positive thoughts and affirmations such as “I’m worth it” or “I love myself”. Keep telling yourself that and you will believe it. Take it one day or step at a time. :)