I wish I had the right words to say to you too but it's hard to find encouraging words to say when hurting myself. I too feel so over whelmed with issues and I too had weird thoughts like yourself. But I was taught that suicide is not the answer. It hurts when everything is hitting you all at once, (that's what is happening to me right now). Sometimes, like right now, I feel like screaming to the top of my lungs or just disappearing from earth.

Depressed, if that is truly how you feel, put it all on God. He'll take you...in due time.

As we all know - life is short. Sometimes, many of us want to make it shorter because we're tired of all the pain we eel during the journey.

I'll leave God out of the equation - but I recently lost a friend to suicide and another to a heart attack. The heart attack victim was only 65 yo.

What I'm trying to say is with life being such a short journey (and it really is)...I don't know where all my years went (the best ones in my mind), may as well try and look at the rest of your life as an adventure painful or not. Stick with the journey and try and look at the fact that you're still alive as a gift (whether you feel that way or not). Try and find some meaning in your life whether that be adopting a pet or volunteering your compassion to others who don't want to die but are.

I'd like to to take my own advice

Depressed,
I have been severely depressed since I was 3 years old. During my teens I tried several times to attempt suicide. Now I couldn't be more relieved that I failed.

I am still depressed despite the meds I take for it. They make things better though. There are still times when I contemplate it and then I think. What would my doing that do to the ones I leave behind?

One thing that helped me in a particularly dark time was to make a landscape of what life would be like if I weren't depressed. We both live in a dark place where depression is sometimes all be can remember and all we anticipate from life. Not true. A landscape of a life not depressed helps give us a glimpse into life without depression. How would you feel if you were depressed. What would you do if you were happy? What activities would you start to do again? What would your social life be like?

I know it sounds simplified and trite however, making this landscape and them taking tiny steps toward living in this landscape helps. It has kept me from being as depressed as I otherwise would be and gives me hope that the future will be better and that my landscape will one day be completed.

Until then, as so many others have said, depression is not a life sentence, death/ suicide is.