It's not so scary there. My experience was we had group therapy twice a day and when we weren't in group there was always something to keep us busy and always having someone there to talk to. Your job wouldn't let you be off for 2-3 days?

im not religious

please call one of these numbers NOW
USA: Hopeline (Suicide): 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
USA: Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-8255)

check out this website. I know it feels like no one cares about you. how awful that your own mother would say such things. I know, I have a mother who is not capable of love. but you can love yourself. there are people out there who will care about you. look at the website:
http://www.befrienders.org/
look at all the people here writing to you who care whether you live or die. you matter.
please.

you could live with crippling results of attempting to OD....it is not so smart a way to go either....very painful....I am sorry you need to have these feelings....and your parents are not supporting you now....you must have alienated a lot of people if nobody is around to talk to....please get some help from the doctors at the hospital after calling 911....screw your parents and get help...

Nobody wants to deal with a suicidal person. Its hard. My boss isn't very understating. To request that much time off work i have to request it in advance and i can't wait much longer.

there is something called FMLA - Family Medical Leave Act. if you invoke it, your boss cannot fire you over time you have to take off for a medical condition. suicidality and depression this deep is a medical condition. there are people who DO want to deal with you, please call one of those hotlines now.

you have medical confidentiality. you do not have to disclose why you were in the hospital. what if you developed appendicitis and had to have surgery and be in the hospital for 3 days? you can't plan that. your boss can't fire you if that happens. same with this and he has no right to know why you had a medical emergency.

Please, please don't. You can message me if you need someone to talk to, things can always get better, you can trust that.

Try it and you will LIVE to regret it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trazodone#Overdose

WanderingVet: THANK YOU so much for finding that link. That was very helpful.

Bernie have you been taken through any attempts at diagnosis for the autism spectrum? I'm not trying to be mean here: I mean it. Your thought processes are skipping bits.

The bottom line is if you're considering killing yourself because you aren't allowed a pet, I would see a serious flaw in mental functioning right there. When you're an adult you can have as many pets as you like: killing yourself now, shutting off 70 yrs of life, because for 5 of them you're not allowed a pet, is truly not the best idea.

Not being able to have a pet isn't the reason I want to die. The person mentioned getting a pet for me to focus my attention on and I said I can't have one. I never said that why I wanted to die. Also, what is autism and what makes you think I have it?

my son has autism and I don't necessarily detect any signs in you. really, it's based on behavior which we cannot see here on an online forum, so making any diagnosis based on what you say here would be irresponsible. however, having Asperger (a milder form of autism) can make a person socially inept to the point they are unsuccessful socially and feel rejected and don't understand why they don't have any friends and feel alone all the time. we cannot see how we are awkward and put other people off, and therefore cannot adjust those behaviors in order to get along better. if there's a chance this could be related to the troubles you've had, it would be worth getting evaluated. you could get some assistance and also vindication for the things you may have been blamed for; it's not necessarily your fault. then you could connect with others like you and learn how to form better relationships. there is always hope Bernie.
take the test and see how you score: http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/

Hey, I hope you made it through and you're still around to read this. If so, please reply. My father committed suicide when I was in high school (over half my life ago). I can't imagine the pain that can drive someone to end their life—but I can tell you this: as soon as people in his life found out, they all said, "I wish he would have told me. I was here to help." People love you and care about you. Sometimes the people you could least expect. That doesn't make it easy, but it's a start. Tell someone how you are feeling. Tell them what you are considering doing. And then let them help you. And if you can't bring yourself to a hospital, let them do it for you. If you can't call a support line, let them do it for you. But above all else, talk to someone and don't give up.

A friend of mine who has been suicidal his whole life talks about "getting to 11." Stop and count to ten, as slowly as you can. The goal is to get to 11. If you can make it through 10 seconds, you can make it through 10 minutes. And if you can make it through 10 minutes, you can make it through 10 days. And if you can make it through ten days, you have a decade of a better life ahead of you. You have a life ahead of you. So just start with the next 10 seconds.

You are loved. Even people here care about you. I care about you. I want to know that you're okay. And I want to help.