Congratulations on getting past it, I'm still trying to get to that point as well.

Thanks Enigmatic. I wasn't sure which place to post it. I wouldn't call it a crisis since I was past the worst. I'm feeling better now.

I'm really glad you are feeling better today ww and I'm sorry you were in such a dark place. I can tell you that you ARE wanted here and we do care.

(((((((((( BIG HUGS )))))))))))


LMT

You aren't alone in your struggles. If you look closely, you can usually find many small reasons to keep going.

If you are giving in order to receive, ... it is possible to be in your state of mind. Receiving ... is complex. It is not always as simple as a boatload of giving outwardly (see below for 'hard/simple').

For ONE thing ... giving TO YOURSELF ... brings on GIVING by others. Giving comes to happy people. Happiness begins with kindness and love for one's self.

It is POSSIBLE that the outside world NEVER gives .... (theory) ... and if that is the only source, there COULD be NO happiness for anyone, anywhere. Therefor, it actually comes from within ... first. No happiness within, ... no happiness from the outside.

Ironically .. it is very easy. Start by being VERY kind to yourself .. no suicide .. no gloom, no blah, blah. Become happy from the inside. This begins to show to others ... and THEY begin to contribute to your happiness. It does NOT begin from the outside.

THERE IS ALWAYS HELP JUST AROUND THE CORNER................

GBU
DRENA B
;-]

I am glad you are feeling better. Remember you are wanted here. You are a valuable member of our community and have a lot to contribute.

I have to pay to get some affections.

It sounds like you need to desperately switch jobs. Have you thought about learning another language and being an interpretur?

Hey annecleaver that's a good idea. I would love to do that. I have tried to learn other languages, took 3 Spanish classes in college, but I don't remember very much of it.

Energy is like money. Don't throw away anything you haven't got spare.

If people don't give to you as much as you give, you either need to get more from them, or give less to them. They may not have been raised with all the you give to me, i give to you stuff. They may have been raised, rather, with you look after you and I will look after me.

Ie, not raised to give: raised not to take.

You have to meet your own needs. That's not something someone else can do for you. You know what your needs are, so meet them yourself. Lower your expectations of others.

And just understand you've just said 'people don't pay enough attention to me so I want to kill myself.'

What is your life worth to you? Don't you care about your life at all, that you gauge whether you want it or not based upon the actions of other people?

I think you need to find yourself. I mean your inner self-self, not something other people see when they look at you, or what you see in the mirror. Find yourself. When you find yourself, you won't be an untethered helium balloon floating around waiting to burst. You'll be under your own control.

People are either Givers or Takers. Givers always lose. Takers are the Winners. Relationships are the same. Givers and Takers. 99% of the Givers are women. THEY WERE TAUGHT TO BE FOOLS .